fist fights between your children. WWYD?

[HecateTheCrone]

Difference of opinion here between me and Himself.

Our boys have just come downstairs in the middle of a HUGE fight. I mean grabbing hold of each other, hitting, punching. A proper fight.

I was trying to break them up. Not an easy task because they are 10 and nearly 12 and actually almost as tall as me and bloody strong! And bloody angry.

My youngest managed to punch my eldest in the nose I got between them and held onto them both and they were reaching round me to continue to punch each other.

I was begging Himself to help me but he refused. His opinion was to step aside and let them carry on.

Now, I normally let them sort out their differences. I think it's important. But an out of control fist fight is different imo.

It's over now. I sorted it out and packed them off to seperate rooms.

But when your children are grabbing hold of each other and punching each other, do you let them fight it out for a bit or do you seperate them at once? and why do you have that policy?

Himself takes the view that boys fight. siblings fight and you have to let them fight it out. He says that I "broke it up too early"

I take the view that you have to let them sort out disagreements yes, and they are going to give each other a slap from time to time, but when they are punching each other in the face then you cannot allow that. and furthermore, you can't let them think that they can solve their problems by fighting.

[LynetteScavo]

I break mine up.

It's a mothers instinct.

I totally agree with your last paragraph.

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

I agree with last para too

Stepping in between works for me, but mine are a bit younger, and not terribly fisty (they seem to go through phases of fistyness)

[Tamdin]

I agree with last paragraph too. If it makes you feel and better dh and his brother once broke a coffee table in the midst of one of their teenage angst fights and it's now a family joke and they are the best of friends :)

[HecateTheCrone]

glad you agree with me. phew normally Mumsnet seems to come down on the side of Himself. grrr.

[GypsyMoth]

no I agree too!

Would your dh stand and watch you take a misthrown punch?

[Goblinchild]

I'd break it up and send them to calm down in separate locations. Then work on the solution when they were sentient again.
Letting them punch it out can be a stress-reliever, but it doesn't solve the problem, just gets rid of the energy because they are too battered to continue.
Better for your DH to have taken them on a ten mile run. Suggest that to him.

[HecateTheCrone]

I did, ILT! I got a right clobbering!

anyway, all is calm atm. They are ignoring each other and Himself is going to take them to the park in a bit.

[cory]

Never mind about mother's instincts: fist fights are simply not allowed in this household and will be punished like any other misdemeanour. It is quite simply bad behaviour and dh feels the same as me. Well done on you for breaking it up.

[Pagwatch]

Oh no, I can't agree. My children are not allowed to put their hands on each other. No way.
The most gnormous unforgettable pile of shite would be landing on both their heads.

I don't allow treating family members worse than strangers. If they are nit allowed fist fights with friends they are not allowed to lump each it her.

I grew up with 7 siblings so I am not some precious type. But in my book being allowed to hit at home, to assiciate family as the people you are allowed to lose control with ... No. Big, huge no.

[FranSanDisco]

No physical fighting allowed in this house either but they are younger than op's dcs. I remember my brother punching me so hard in the face I left the floor and flew across the room when I was 14 yo and he was 12 yo. He never hit me again as he was in shock for days and my father had a 'quiet' chat with him.