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Parenting

What parenting things did your parents do when you were young that you would thank them for now?

11 replies

TheMightyToosh · 28/02/2011 13:09

In Oscars spirit, and because I want to know some gems that I can incorporate into my own parenting style that might help my children in the future/get me included in any acceptance speeches!

You know, like if you read an interview with someone famous or successful, they always say something like 'My parents always encouraged me to try new things/think outside the box/challenge everything I was told/ etc etc'.

Disclaimer: before anyone flames me, I'm not trying to manufacture famous/successful children, only happy ones Grin

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mumof4sons · 28/02/2011 13:24

My parents didn't really have particular parenting style as such. They trusted me. They also had a passion for travelling and never denied me the experience to travel. I did lots of school trips and even got to study in Austria one summer while at university. I was fortunate that they were able to fund these experiences. I'd thank them for that.

The one thing my mother and I clashed over was her making me take typing (no computers or word precessor then) while in school. I didn't want to. I thought at that time that I would have a secretary to do it for me. (Boy was I wrong!) My mother knew best, and I tell her that. I type everyday. lol

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TheMightyToosh · 28/02/2011 19:54

Travel/broadening horizons - right! Adding to my repertoire - thanks!

Anyone else?

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Enchantica · 28/02/2011 19:58

Pushed me to finish my university degree.

Taught me that it's ok to be different. Cue me eventually turning into a gothic looking metalhead with 11 piercings and 3 tattoos. Well, they did encourage me... my dad used to sit me down in front of the 'Power Hour' on tv which was a heavy metal show with the likes of Metallica. In November it will be my wedding and I am having a 'Power Hour' of metal from midnight til 1am :D It's his fault that I turned out this way but I'm sure he's secretly proud! :p

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BertieBasset · 28/02/2011 20:04

My mum always said that the only important thing in life is to be happy. My dad that you can't put a price on having a job you enjoy.

Most importantly (although they can bicker like - well - an old married couple Smile ) they showed me what a healthy respectful relationship looks like, so when I was going out with arse after arse I knew that there were some nice guys out there, it couldn't just be my dad and brothers.

And then I found DH and I was proved right!

Oh and my opinion was always listened too even when I was little, and every now and again acted upon Grin

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swallowedAfly · 28/02/2011 20:05

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TheMightyToosh · 28/02/2011 20:59

Enchantica - I remember the Power Hour! And Elvira... Encouraging my DCs that it's ok to be different is definitely something I will do/am doing. From personal experience, I know how healthy and empowering it is to be yourself and feel accepted at home for it.

Bertie - being listened to is a big thing in our house, though sometimes it gets difficult when DD (almost 4) has to have the last word - it can take a while! But again, it is about being accepted for who you are and what you think, and I really want my DCs to feel that whatever happens out in the big wide world, at home they are fully accepted and adored for who they are and what they think, and can be totally free to be themselves.

swallowedAfly - interesting idea that having loads of tat instead of a few things of substance can carry into adulthood. I like that. I think there's a lot to be said for saying 'No' when you stumble into the toy section of tescos, instead of just giving in to all the asking for this and that, just because it's cheap. I know people whose children have new toys every week while mine really only get them at Xmas and birthdays, but I feel like they are appreciated a bit more that way, and I love the idea that by keeping the plastic at bay, they will spark up the brain cells and find fun in other things.

Thanks everyone! Smile

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wilkos · 28/02/2011 21:10

Being 100% fair between me and my sister on everything.

No Barbies/ my little ponies/ care bears/ general tat. and having to save up money ourselves to go towards expensive things such as bikes tellys etc

But the most important thing they ever did for me, which I only found out the day I graduated, was that they never let on how worried they were I wasnt working hard enough at school. I am relatively bright but never worked hard, and just coasted for years, and my dad let slip that he had had sleepless nights worrying I would never get anywhere. I am forever grateful that he never let on and spared me the pressure so many of my friends were under.

And my dad would have really struggled with that (being quite a shouty person on other issues), which makes it all the more special.

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mamalovesmojitos · 28/02/2011 21:16

Insisted on manners from me at an early age.

forced encouraged me to continue with hobbies such as music lessons at times that I wanted to pack it in.

Gave me a certain amount of freedom as a teenager (babysitting at twelve, travelling on buses to city centre etc.)

Expected me to be open-minded, such as listening to wide variety of music, encouraging my dubious teenage fashion choices, only eating local food on foreign holidays, never being racist, accepting my gay friends etc...

My parents are young and I realise now they're quite hip! I love them Smile

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nannyl · 28/02/2011 21:24

my dad was a single dad one i was a teenager

he always said "I can go where i like, when i like, with whom i like, and do what i like, so long as it has no negative effect on him"

Thought that was pretty sensible

I was encouraged to be independant... went to school 10 miles away (and always went on school bus) but Dad took me to school, and we walked to train station together (a good 20 / 25min walk in city i didnt know well) and how to buy a train ticket to get home. (in case missed bus etc!)

when i learnt to drive he bought me a car but made me take off and out back on all 4 wheels before i was allowed to drive it.

Once i passed my test it was arranged for me to drive 130miles to godparents the weekend after passing (by myself) to make me get some driving practice in and not be scared of driving!

I was always expected to do my best.... having 12 A's at GCSE wouldnt have made him happy if i could have got 12As (or even 1A and 11 As) by trying harder.
However had 8 Ds been my best, having tried, that would have been good enough for my Dad

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PonceyMcPonce · 28/02/2011 21:29

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TheGoddessBlossom · 28/02/2011 21:36

Expectations were high. Brainy older sister who worked hard. Was expected to do the same hours of revision as she did, and I am grateful for that. They taught me that to succeed you have to work hard. Simple as that.

Family is important.

Manners are important. In all ways, table, being a guest, being gracious, conversational etiquette..... So important.

Loyalty.

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