paedophile on our street!

[katierocket]

one of my neighbours knocked on the door this afternoon to tell me that the guy that lives 5 doors from us has just been convicted of downloading child porn. He got a fine, suspended sentence and counselling. She wasn't being a vigilante but just said she thought those with parents might want to know. She has a 5 yr old and 7 yr old and lives next door but one to him. I felt really sorry for her because she was saying how his house overlooks their back yard and she's worried because they were running round in the nude in the paddling pool during the summer.

It might my heart drop when I heard it. I've never actually seen him and don't intend to start throwing eggs or shouting at him even if I do see him but it is frightening to think it can be so close to home.

[Tissy]

Yes, it is worrying, but I think that your friend was out of order to go around knocking on doors spreading the news.Other people may have different ideas about whether it is acceptable to take the law into their own hands.

The man was convicted of downloading porn, and presumably, because he wasn't given a custodial sentence, he wasn't felt by those with all the facts to be a direct risk to children around him. Before any of you jump down my throat, I am NOT saying that child porn is OK, of course it does have an effect on the poor children who are the subject of the photos, but with as with most crimes there are degrees of severity.

I expect I will be very unpopular now.

[misdee]

give me the address. i have some eggs that are our of date.

nah seriously, if someone was done for kiddie porn in my area i'd like to know, just to make sure my kids are safe.

[judetheobscure]

Tend to agree with Tissy. And it's up to all of us to look after our children no matter who our neighbours are.

[Chinchilla]

Anyway, she might have got the wrong man. Imagine having things shouted at you if you are innocent. It might be worth getting proof before worrying.

[wiltshire]

I think that it's good that the parents in the street are forewarned. If you know about a danger, you can take steps to ensure it doesn't affect you. Don't know how I'd feel about it if it was in my road though.

[katierocket]

don't for a second think I am advocating vigilante behaviour , I'm really not and my first reaction was surprise followed by shock and then I felt sorry for said neighbour.

Chinchilla - that's one of the first things I thought - in fact I immediately asked her "how do you know for sure" but the local paper published his address after his court appearance. I don't actually agree with the paper doing this but equally it's such a shock when it's near to you.

[Gilli]

The porn that this man downloaded would have been classed as level 1, 2, 3 or 4, with 4 carrying a long custodial sentence. the sort of sentence you describe, katierocket, suggests a small amount of level 1 porn, usually pseudo-images from the computer of naked children. The counselling is probably part of Probation Service's monitoring of him, and will be designed to help prevent him reoffending. He will automatically have been registered as a sex offender, but this doesn't mean that he is an immediate danger to children in the area. Sadly today, our naked children can attract attention from anyone who can see them in that state, convicted offender or not, and a lot of the time we may be unaware that they are being looked at.

If your neighbour has any real concerns she can ask to have a confidential chat with the local police station, who may be able to provide reassurance.

[katierocket]

meant to also say, I was so disgusted when that poor guy got abused after News of the World 'outing of paedophiles' campaign where the neighbours mixed up paedophile with paediatrician.

I just think she didn't know what do to. She wasn't being insulting or aggressive, she was genuinely concerned that might want to know.

[katierocket]

sorry that should be
"concerned that we might want to know"

thanks for that Gilli, that's interesting.

[judetheobscure]

But don't forget, within your street there could be several people who are a potential danger to your children - convicted, outed or totally unbeknown to anybody.

[ANGELMOTHER]

Sorry if I'm blunt but if anyone's interest in children is derogotary enough to warrant a grade of 1,2,3 or 4, whatever that grade may be, I would certainly want to know.
Can't say for sure whether I'm an egg pelter or not, but forewarned is forearmed.

[katierocket]

but jude you can see the neighbours worry, of course it's up to use to look after our children regardless and anyone could be a threat.
What had really upset her was that his window overlooks her yard - her children have been running round in the hot weather this summer with no clothes on. You can see how that made her feel sick.

[doormat]

katierocket I am one of those vigilantes and so is my dh.I do not agree in child abuse in any shape or form. It is sick and disgusting IMO.
Whether downloading porn, looking,touching even thinking about it puts them all in the same category and that category is sick and twisted perverts.
An old man a few doors down was jailed for doing things to his dd and his granddaughter.(It is on other thread)
I and especially dh along with a few other neighbours tell every new neighbour that comes into our neighbourhood about him. WHY it is not vengeance or being nasty but it is forewarning people that a nonce is in our area. We want to protect our children and by our I mean all children.
Please dont knock us until you are in that position.
Also would any of you like to be forewarned of a pervert in your street???????? I think you all would.

[Sonnet]

Agree Doormat!
Katierocket - I'd be thanking the women for informing me!!

[Rhubarb]

I agree, I would certainly want to know. If the newspaper printed his address then they must have been concerned enough about his behaviour. I don't condone vigilante attacks, but when has KatieRocket mentioned anything like that anyway? At least now she can keep her children out of his way and keep an eye on the other children in the neighbourhood. Anyone who downloads child porn is a sicko, no matter if they get convicted or not. I would vomit if I had to look at a single image, so the thought of someone getting pleasure out of that is beyond belief. And every Paedophile starts somewhere, what's to say that he won't carry on his obscene activities?

I will never forget a TV documentary I saw years ago which interviewed a convicted Paedo, the man said that there was no cure, once a Paedo always a Paedo. He said those who go for rehab are just pretending, they will always pose a threat to children. He said it was like being gay, you can't change your sexual preferences. So I would definitely keep a close eye on this neighbour and I think your other neighbour was right to warn you, after all you have children too. It's usually a neighbour or friend who carries out these attacks isn't it?

I'm all for a Sarah's Law. Paedophilia seems to be rising in this country, mainly thanks to the advent of the internet and easier access to child porn images, but lenient sentencing like the one for the baby rapist is hardly deterring them. To be made public however, I think the benefits of doing that outweigh the risks.

[doormat]

Sonnet we always get genuinely thanked for letting people know.They feel much safer in the knowledge of what is going on in their neighbourhood.

[secret]

As I've mentioned on the other thread, my FIL is a convicted paedophile. His very existence causes heartache to all concerned - both victims and family members. HOWEVER, I would not wish him to be hounded or hunted down. dh has often said how much easier it would have been for him if FIL was a murderer because that crime is more "acceptable" in the eyes of society.

As a family we've found it so much easier now FIL is back in the community because we can mention his existence (to select people). It was all so cloak and dagger before. We obviously are very careful who we talk to about where he is and what work he does.

Other family members would have him killed if they knew where he was. dh however is determined to give FIL a second chance. He believes his rehabilitation is working, he still receives counselling and a probation officer deals with him regularly. (FIL was convicted only very shortly before the register came into effect in the UK).

I am not defending what FIL has done - it disgusts me to the core. But I do see the effect of vigilante attitudes on my dh - people assume he might be "capable" too. Naming FIL publicly would bring our world crashing around our ears because we are then associated.

By leaving him alone to get on with his life and being selective about when we mention him allows us to have a life. His victims too can recover what semblance of normality they can without his name ringing in their ears or well-meaning locals pressuring them into taking further (violent/harrassing) action.

[Sonnet]

I hear what you are saying Secret But I still think that people have a right to know who is living neat them that could pose a threat ( and I understand that there could be many people who knowbody knows about!)

I am not advocating vigilanty (sp!) attacks.

I personaly wouldn't hold it against you, your DH or family - and I wouldn't agree with anybody that did.

This must have had a dreadful effect on you all - I hope that things are better for you now

[secret]

In all seriousness then, what do you do with the information?? How can we possibly protect your children?

FIL appears to be a normal, successful businessman with big house, nice cars, nice family etc. He is not weird or creepy or a dirty old man. He trashed the lives of family friends and neighbours. He'd been living in the street for 15 years before anything came out. His kids played with the kids he interfered with. They had barbeques together! No one could tell what he was doing!!

He wasn't the weird old man who watches kids in the playground. He is your best friend's husband.. He is your brother in law..he's your kid's teacher - do you see how futile this all is??? It could even be a "she"

[Angiel]

I was abused by my grandad for a couple of years and when that all came out, several people said that they thought he had an unhealthy interest in me. Whether he abused anyone else or not, I'm not sure, but the reason I told when I did was because I had a younger cousin and I thought history might repeat itself.

No action was ever taken against him but when my brothers found out years later, they were both incredibly shocked and said that if he hadn't already died they would have quite happily killed him.

My dad was killed in an accident when I was 14 and I remember thinking at the time, that at least I don't have to worry about any kids I may have. Of course, I now have a FIL and I do find it difficult to leave my kids with him, but I force myself to do it.

I can sort of understand how Secret feels. I think if you are related to a paedo then you do start to wonder if you might end up doing the same thing. I even thought that myself for a while although I'd never dream of doing anything like that (I hope that went without saying really).

If someone who had been convicted of downloading child porn or abuse moved near me, I'd want to know about it. I'd want to protect my children so they didn't end up like me.

[doormat]

futile what is futile in protecting children.
secret I do genuinely feel for you in your position but at the end of the day that is how you chose to live your life.I am not against you.

A friend of mine was told 5 yrs ago about one of the best neighbours she had ever had. A person had looked through his window and found his hand up his dd's nightie.My mate didnt believe one word of it as these 2 people did not get on.Anyway he went on to abuse 5 girls in her neighbourhood. One of them a special needs child who didnt know what was going on.He went to jail.
My friend can not live with herself, as she felt she let it happen as she was warned but didnt take the warning seriously enough. She is haunted by this. There are always differnt aspects of situations that people cant live with.
Also this degree of severity is a load of shite, it is all bad.

[secret]

Doormat - you misunderstand me. I'm not saying it's futile to protect our children. I'm saying what the hell can we do??? I genuinely don't know how "knowing" someone's criminal tendencies can prevent them reoffending?? What can we do? - barricade our kids in the home?

The other point I'm making, is that as others have said, it's incredibly rare for a paedophile to take a kid off the street. Like rape, something like 80% plus of all cases are by a friend or family member, not an unknown neighbour.

All I'm saying is that we've got no way of knowing who could touch our kids - but it's most likely to be someone we already know really well and would never suspect. Sorry to sound all morose, but that's how it is.

I guess the only alternative is to never let any child be alone with any male, and judging by some previous threads, that means male children too. It's so extreme I know - could it work?

[wiltshire]

I feel I have to ask a question. Why would it be wrong to hound a paedophile out of your street. I don't have any strong feelings either way as yet as I don't (as far as I know) have any living in my immediate area. We have foster carers as neighbours and I think that they get to know if there is a nonce alert. Since the register anyway. I can honestly say that if a pervert moved into the house opposite mine, I do not know what my reaction would be. Burn house down with him in it? Make a point of shouting nonce every time I encountered him? Or what really? What do you all think you would do. Is it really acceptable for a person of this nature to live amongst familes????????

[Angeliz]

katierocket i think your neighbour did the right thing in telling you! I also agree that "degrees" to me don't mean much child porn is child porn. I'm not saying linch him or drive him out but if i had someone like that living close by i WOULD want to know! Of course a pervert could be anywhere or anyone but if it is KNOWN about 1 then that information could help to save 1 child!Don't think that it's futile to be wary of everyone myself,i think it's neccessary (unfortunately)

[Angeliz]

i feel REALLY sorry for youe neighbour regarding the paddling pool! She must feel sick at the thought this pervert could have pics of hers,,,,or even just watched them!