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Teens who struggle socially...

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mummyflood · 06/02/2011 14:25

For those of you whose teens who struggled socially during the teen years, and seemed like they never quite fitted in or had totally different interests/no particular interests, did you find that they began to find their niche after 16, and is college a good option for kids like this as opposed to school 6th form?

DS2, 15, has struggled from about Year 5 or 6 with making and maintaining friendships. He goes through periods where we think he has finally 'clicked', but then the group seems to grow away from him and he goes back to square one. Going through this at the moment. Eg's - small group who he walks to school with. "I'm not going to walk with them from now, all they do is listen to and talk about screamo music, which I hate - I just tag along". Football team he has played for a few months - "I'm quitting, they were ok at first, but now they just constantly have a go, they don't see the good stuff I do, just the bad. A couple outright have a go at me, the rest just keep their heads down and ignore me" A couple of lads he met out of school on the local playing field seem to have drifted away.

In year 9, he went through a very worrying period of a few months where he was emotionally breaking down at school and home, saying he felt he didn't fit in, didn't think he could get through the next couple of years at school and didn't feel that he had anything in common with anyone and everyone was talking about him. We had a few sessions with CAMHS, the school were reasonably supportive, but he seemed to pass through it and reckons he is better now and not worrying as much.

Adults in general just see a lovely, caring sensitive lad (which he is) who will be lovely as an adult, but to me there just seems to be a heck of a long time between now and then! Is what I have described just him struggling with growing up/puberty/this particular stage in life? He just seems mostly 'at odds' with his peers and like a square peg in a round hole IYSWIM. We've suggested many, many spare-time activities - he's tried quite a few, but again, never quite feels as though he 'fits'.

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mummyflood · 06/02/2011 17:36

anyone with any words of wisdom? Perhaps I should have posted this in teenagers, would I have to delete and re-post?

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girlscout · 06/02/2011 19:50

I'm going to watchthis with interest mummyflood, because my dd1 has always been a bit like this and I dont know what to do either.
You know all they really need is just one good persistant friend, and they would be able to bloom , but the constant stress of being picked up and put down is very corrosive. My experience with Camhs was unhelpful. I hope someone can provide some help.