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Biting/Aggresive Son (aged 3 3/4)

(8 Posts)
Toasty Mon 10-Sep-01 08:37:24

Has anybody got any suggestions to deal with a son who at nearly 4 is still biting when angry. I thought he would have grown out of it by now and I keep reading things that if by the age of 3 your child is still biting there is a problem! I think this is a bit extreme but has anybody got any ideas to help. He is at nursery and went through of a phase about 4 months ago of being very aggresive and hitting/scratching and biting but his behaviour improved alot after lots of talks and some threats (from his father) but nows seem to have reverted to his previous misbehaviour. I would love to hear any suggestions - please!!!

Jj Mon 10-Sep-01 14:57:25

My son went through a biting phase. The thing that worked with him was giving him an alternative way to deal with the situations which were causing the biting. Our nursery came up with asking him to "use his words" and, if that didn't work, going to a teacher and telling her the problem. We also role-played someone taking away his toys and other scenarios at home so that he had some practice.

He was younger.. around 3 years old, I think. Hope it goes well for you. I used to dread picking up my son from nursery and having to hear about how he'd bitten or scratched someone. Good luck!

Rhiannon Mon 10-Sep-01 21:19:27

I think it was Janh that suggested in a previous thread that 'a taste of mustard' when he did it worked for her. I thought this was a good idea but don't know if it would work for an older child. It might be worth a try?

Janh Tue 11-Sep-01 13:01:59

rhiannon, i agree it sounds like me (cruel but fair) but in this case it wasn't!

luckily i've never had a biter - i wouldn't know where to start! pinchers get pinched back, hairpullers get their hair pulled (and i once did it to someone else's child who had done it to one of mine when i left them in the back of the car while i dropped off a third child. she said "my mummy won't like when i tell her you did that" - she was about 4! - so i said "your mummy won't like it when i tell her why i did it, either." i never heard any more...)

i'm not sure of the ethics of BITING back - difficult to judge the degree of hardness of bite. but the principle - "this is how it feels" - is still a good one...

Rhiannon Tue 11-Sep-01 19:45:32

Sorry Janh, thought it was you will have a look back in the archives. R.

Rhiannon Tue 11-Sep-01 20:02:38

Found it, it's on the other thread called 'biting' in Behaviour and it was posted by Kmg. 1000 apologies. R.

Foureyes Wed 12-Sep-01 07:11:09

My 3 year old was still biting either when very angry, or worse, when very excited, for example when wrestling with his older brother. We had heard about the mustard trick, but at the next incident my husband could only find tabasco sauce.

After a few more incidents, he seems to have stopped - and will advise others "if you bite you get sauce in your mouth" - so it seems to have done the trick. It is horrid, but so is biting - we have had to take his brother to casualty to get the bite cleaned as it was so deep, so drastic measures were called for!

Good luck!

Toasty Wed 12-Sep-01 08:24:54

The problem with the mustard thing is that most of the biting happens at Nursery and I cannot see the Nursey agreeing to do such a thing even though personally I have no problem with it at all - their child care guidelines would probably deem it inappropriate - I could try it at home when he tries to bite me but Nursery is my main concern.

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