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What "bad" behaviour do you let your children get away with ?(110 Posts)
Just out of interest I am wondering what "bad" behaviour you let your children get away with ??
What I mean is that my MIL thinks its very terrible that sometimes my boys (2.5yo and 4yo) sometimes resort to silly language between themselves and start saying "willy, poohead etc etc" to each other and us all. MIL is very prudish in the extreme and regards any talk mentioning genital parts etc as inappropriate. Whereas I on the other hand am not particularly bothered by this sort of thing and think its just a stage and there are bigger battles to be fought than that sort of thing.
What doesn't bother you in terms of behaviour that may bother others ?
calling each other and me in a silly jokey game silly poobum stinky head, I say they smell like a rhinos bum and then they make me sniff them and I have to say they smell like roses, cue lots of giggles
jumping on the sofa
eating with their fingers cause they can all use cutlery but I dont think I need to force them for pizza or chips
Trinity, surely getting take-away is an excuse to eat with your fingers? DD2 loves getting fish and chips from the chippy because I let her eat them with her fingers
oh yes definitely with fish and chips
but I thought everyone did that
I would let ds do the silly talk too. If you want to stop it though, the best way I have found is to play a game with them.
I usually say something " oh well it is fine to say "willy/poohead (or whatever they are saying) but in this house we never say orchard (or any word that is a bit unusual but not rude sometimes I use treeman, curly hair oe anything really) and then watch then stop and look really puzzled.
Usually they protest that my word is not rude but as soon as they say the word I say " aghh don't say that word!" and cover my ears and play up to it. Also I then say thing like we never ever say "fake rude word" and then say " oh no I said it" which never fails to get a laugh. By then they have usually cottoned on that it is a game
This game works with almost all the young children I have ever tried it on. You end up playing the game and the naughty words get forgotten.
If I'm not in the mood for the game I just ignore the naughty words though as saying "don't say that" pretty much never works for me.
I also let ds leap on my sofas and eat with his fingers if it is pizza, chips etc though I draw the line at soup and mash!
Be prepared to be asked to play the game again though in various guides!
Mine are tame in comparison. DD is allowed to read at the breakfast table but not when it is dinner time. Not sure why I don't mind mornings, maybe because she eats while she reads [piss poor appetite].
She also calls me poo bum, fat belly or flabby baps. She is 9.8
My son and his female cousin would go on for hours with poo,willy,big bum etc.We left them to it thinking that they would grow out of it- my arse.They are now 26 and 29 and worse than ever.
Dd2 jumps on the sofa
I don't really let them get away with bad behaviour, they don't swear, they never hit anyone, they tidy up when asked and they do as they are told (most of the time).
I don't mind them eating with fingers as dd2 cant use a kniffe and fork due to poor motor skills.
Both my dd's are Autistic so i find it very important that they are well behaved as so many people asume Autistic children have behaviour problems .
I do not really enforce a strict bed time, they are allowed to have a mess in their bedrooms, they have to tidy away their stuff in the rest of the house though. When they fight I do not intervene, well not usually! Allowed to get dirty and wet - their favourite play area is around the stream bottom of the garden - that is unless we are dressed up to go anywhere, then I either lock them in a cupboard or tie them to a post until we are ready to go . They are allowed to splash through puddles. Allowed to play out with no shoes on. Eat with fingers, eat things that have fallen onto the floor, but I do that. Swearing, they do sometimes.
OK I am now waiting for social services to call!
DD1 (2.9) is currently eating a ham sandwich on the sofa in front of cbeebies, in a duvet, while I
mumsnet feed DD2 in the dining room . I know eating round the table together is important blah blah but to be honest she's knackered after preschool and needs a bit of downtime, and it means I can concentrate on DD2 for a little while (currently decorating her head with toast!)We do eat dinner all together.
Otherwise, jumping on the sofa, calling her daddy lots of variations of the word 'smelly', splashing in mud etc. But we're very strict on please and thank you in this house!
Eating on the sofa, food in bedrooms, 'talking back' (known as 'discussion' in this house ), 'silly' talk never been an issue.
I also allow mine to eat on the sofa (occasionally, just snack type things, not a full on roast dinner) and I also try not to intervene in fights unless necessary.
However I am a bit of a clean freak where mud and puddles are concerned so try my best to steer them around puddles if poss.
oh and the odd repeated swear word does not massively bother me. They haven't cottoned on to swearing really yet but have on occasion said "bloody" which in the scheme of swear words is at the lower end I feel.
Also 2.5yo has just come out of a phase of saying "Oh my god!" Which I think is cute and funny but MIL being quite religious does not....
'Potty' talk (poos, bums etc.)
Eating in the sitting room
Proper bad behvaviour (up to a point) if they're tired and/or hungry and it's not their fault (i.e. if they have eaten ll o their previous meal)
Jumping in mud and puddles (so long as they're wearing vaguely sensible footwear - other parents hate me for this but it's so much fun)
I don't do Oh my G**! either
am religious though.
Proper bad behaviour (up to a point) if they're tired and/or hungry and it's not their fault
if they have eaten all of their previous meal
slept properly the night before and the bad behaviour isn't violent and is directed at me
Just to clarify
I was relieved at first my dcs say "Oh my gosh!" as they go to international school with big American influence but now it's starting to irritate me.
I let them get very dirty and eat things that have fallen on the floor. My mum is horrified by both of these. Once we made popcorn without a lid on the pan as they wanted to eat it off the kitchen floor (something they had seen in a cartoon I think....)
I let them make noise in the house as long as it's happy noise.
When I'm feeling really brave, I let them make their own "recipes", but rarely eat the results.
I don't make them speak to random strangers who talk to them when we're out. DD3 has hair that attracts a lot of attention so lots of people try to strike up a conversation with her.
I don't mind potty talk but I have a sense of when it's going on too long and tend to say 'That's enough now' at a certain point. Can't really define the point where I feel it's gone on long enough...
Watching TV or reading during dinner is fine by me occasionally. Sometimes I just want to eat and not be bothered with sparkling repartee.
I'm not too strict about bedtime (9ish).
They choose their own clothes.
They can read anything they want, but I censor TV and DVDs and computer.
They are allowed to build houses and dens with the couch cushions/ under the dining room table, do gymnastics indoors to a certain point (until someone gets hurt usually) and jump downstairs, also play with scooters or rollerblades in the house but not while friends are over for the toys with wheels.
We've always let the kids get as muddy as they want when playing outside really, as long as they aren't wearing their super-duper new/smart clothes.
Only because when I was younger I was terrified of having a really good time playing outside because I was constantly worried I'd get muddy and that Mum would shout at me. Didn't really want that with ours so...
...And they don't really get muddy anyway! Just the odd grass stain and muddy knees normally haha!
Oh yes mathanxiety that's another one - I don't make them speak just to fulfil some etiquette convention. My mum gets REALLY squirmy about this - appearing polite (even when the person was being horribly rude or nosy) was always a big thing when I was growing up, which is probably why I don't want my dcs to have to do it. I've found that as they have got older they tend to cope with all that appropriately anyway, without being forced.
I remember once when I was about 18, a nosy friend of my mum's quizzed me endlessly about whether I had a boyfriend yet. She was so rude really. I was giving the minimum one word answers to let her know I thought she was nosy, and afterwards my mum had a big go at me for supposedly being rude to her friend!
I bounce on the beds and the couch with ds (nearly 2). It's called 'doinging' in our house. Our mattress is fucked. Not too fussed if he eats with a fork. Surely he will eventually. As long as he's clean when I first dress him not bothered about mud etc. Get annoyed when I hear parents say 'don't run you might fall over' surely childhood is about being covered in mud and grass stains and picking the scabs off your knees.
Draw the line at hitting, climbing on the dinner table and squeezing my shampoo down the plug. If he makes a mess I make him clean it up.
We eat all meals at the table because we've had to re-decorate twice in one year due to dinner up walls. It contains the mess.
Am totally with you on not forcing DCs into "polite conversation" with strangers.
Similarly I do not make DCs kiss each and every family/friend when they leave their house etc. I recall us leaving many a family party and me and my sister being made to go round the room and kiss each individual goodbye, again out of "politeness". If they want to they can but I am not going to make an issue out of it.
We live in military qtrs so have to be really careful about damage and marks on walls and all that rubbish.
I send the kids out to make a mess, I don't care what mess they make out in the back garden, I can hose it down (we're abroad) and we won't get charged for it!
I feel much better having read these, we do pretty much the same
Sparkle, I remember having to do that as well, too many wiskery kisses and that was just from the ladies !
On holiday the favourite game was shouting Bogie as loud as possible in the car
LOL at the whiskery kisses from the aunts (brings me back...)
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