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Help - not sure what to do re independence at 8+

(6 Posts)
charlieandlola Thu 13-Jan-11 14:49:03

I think I may be "babying" ds - he is 8 and a half.
Not sure how much independence to give him, what repsonsibilities he should be having now, should I still be bathing/showering/cleaning his teeth/dressing him ?
He wants an adult size electric toothbrush ( like me and his dad ) is this ok? he is still using toddler/small child brushes and toothpaste.
Should I still be taking him to hairdressers with his sister, or should we stand outside barbers whilst he is "done".
Some of his friends have email addresses, phones, ipods etc.
He has asked to go to the local shop at the end of the road on his own ( eek!) and when I need to go, has tried to refuse ,saying he wants to stay at home and I should go without him ( double eek!). Shop is only 200 yards away, but round 2 corners,so out of sight.
I don't want to turn him into a teenager, but want to ensure he is being treated in an age appropriate way. He's not my baby anymore sad

AMumInScotland Thu 13-Jan-11 14:57:19

By 8, I would have thought he should be able to shower/bath/wash/dress on his own.

I don't know if electric toothbrushes are good or bad for children - maybe promise to ask the dentist next check up, and go by what he says?

Hairdresser - depends a bit on the type of cut he wants, and whether he's happy with the current hairdresser. If they do men as well as women and children, he doesn't ever have to switch to a barber.

Don't give him a phone unless he really needs one, they're just at risk of being lost or stolen. Same with ipods. Email address - well, you could let him have his own one, but have all his emails come into the same account as yours - I don't hold with too much privacy at 8, as things like bullying are easy by email/text.

Shop - I'd let him go if you can trust him in the traffic for that route. I'd also leave him in the house while I went if he can be trusted not to be stupid!

cory Thu 13-Jan-11 15:01:43

bathing/showering/cleaning teeth/dressing him- Good Heavens no! My ds is disabled and dyspraxic, but even so he did need to look after his own body by that age.

electric toothbrush- actually recommended by dentist for ds at this age, shouldn't be a problem

hairdresser- I go in and am involved in discussions re style with my 10yo (don't want him emerging like a shorn sheep if I am paying), but then bury my nose in the magazines and let him talk to the barber

email adresses, phone, ipad- well, I haven't but then I'm mean and stingy: I've told him he can have a phone when he goes up to secondary

local corner shop- yes, I'd go for this one, relatively safe way of making him feel grown up

leaving him at home while you go to corner shop- again if you are only talking a brief pop down 200 yards with not much shopping, then it's not really any worse than hanging your washing out on the line- but it will seem big and grown up to him

Ragwort Thu 13-Jan-11 15:03:26

My DS is a year older than your DS but he has always had his hair cut at the barbers with his dad (my DH has a thing about women not being able to cut men's hair properly confused - but that's one less thing for me to worry about).

We have been allowing our DS to stay alone for up to an hour for about the last year - if we had a corner shop he could get to without crossing a road I would allow it.

Absolutely no mobile phone or ipod but does have an email address (hardly ever uses it and we can monitor it).

He does shower/bath alone but I still supervise sometimes as he is not very thorough ! Can certainly dress himself smile but sometimes I put the clothes out if I want him to wear certain things ie: not getting clean clothes out every ten minutes !

charlieandlola Thu 13-Jan-11 15:05:23

Thanks - he can shower/bath himself, but seems to be in a "mummy do it" moood at the moment. He had a friend over for a sleepover, and the boy shut himself in the bathroom for nearly half an hour. I was convinced he had drowned, and was sitting outside asking if he was ok every couple of mins blush

RealityIsShaggingWithIntent Thu 13-Jan-11 15:08:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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