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angry older sibling

(3 Posts)
Spandangle Mon 10-Jan-11 22:41:36

hiya. my first born daughter is 5 1/2 years and the second 8 weeks old. i had a great relationship with my daughter and she was well behaved until the birth of the baby. she loves the baby and is really helpful and wants to be involved in the care of the baby. BUT she seems really angry and WONT do as she is told..she acts as if she cant hear me. she screams and shouts if she doesnt get her own way, and also lashes out and sometimes bites.
i have involved her with the baby and she bottle feeds her, changes nappies, burps her efc. from the beginning i have made sure that we have plenty of time when it is just me and her - e.g. we will go off swimming together or to the park etc. her behaviour is slightly better during these times but reverts as soon as we are back together as a family. i have also been consistent with puishment but she seems completely unphased by the naughty step/ having toys confiscated etc. i am also making sure i praise up her good behaviour. i cant seem to get through to her or connect with her at all. we used to have really nice conversations and discuss how she felt about things...she wont talk to me now.
any ideas about how to improve this situation has anyone else experienced this? some people hav suggested that i stop punishing her (as i am almost constantly having to discipline her) and instead completely ignore her bad behaviour, so that she is not receiving attention and continue to reward the good? i find it hard to ignore.

petisa Mon 10-Jan-11 22:47:26

Give her time, neither of you have settled into your new life yet with your new baby. My baby is 4 months old and my 2.8 year old dd and I aren't used to it yet. I wouldn't do away with discipline altogether as she needs to know the boundaries are still there, to feel secure. Treat her as you would normally, not too harsh or lax. I'm no expert but hth.

Spandangle Mon 10-Jan-11 22:52:05

thanks Petisa - your right, it is early days i suppose. i hope it improves - it breaks my heart because we were so close before.
that was my thinking on the discipline - but it does fel like i am constantly telling her to stop it/ come her/dont do that/ dont talk like that etc

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