Grumpy baby

[ButterPieify]

DD2 is grumpy :( We keep saying it is phase, but she is 14 mo now, and still seems to spend half her life crying. She can be plying totally normally, then throws herself down to have a tantrum for the slightest reason (if something doesn't do what she thinks it should), and we have had to give up on the highchair as she will only sit in it for five minutes before throwing evrything on the floor and arching her back, wriggling and shouting, until we are scared she will fall out.

Getting her dressed, undressed or nappy changed (basically anything that means she can't do exactly what she wants) causes her to scream like she is being hurt (other people who have tried to dress her have assumed they have hurt her somehow).

When she is happy, she is a lovely, affectionate baby, hitting her milestones, a little bit small for her age and late for teeth and crawling, but generally pretty average. She was breastfed until about a month ago, when the sudden biting and pulling got too much :(

She hardly ever sleeps through (wakes up terrified, will only go to sleep after we have walked her around, given her calpol, changed her, given her milk, and she falls asleep with a bottle- we know it is bad, but we need her to sleep at some point). She won't take a dummy, although she does like teddies and blankets, not enough to help stop the screaming ab dabs.

The pram is a no go as she throws herself out of it, spoonfeeding works for about three spoons, then she grabs it and throws it back, finger food only works if she is allowed to crawl around eating things.

DH in particular is finding it really hard, but so am I - she is so lovely when she is happy, but that is getting less and less.

Help! We are doing things the same as we did with DD1, and she was a very placid baby, and now she is getting neglected as we have to stop DD2 hurting herself all the time

[winnybella]

I think 14 months is old enough to be shown some boundaries. Tbh she sounds pretty normal, DD had some phases like that and grew out of them. Don't give up with highchair, pram etc- loving but firm. Your DD will have to get used to some things.

Do not leave her with a bottle, though-that is dangerous.

[ButterPieify]

How can we be loving but firm if she keeps throwing herself out though? She is like houdini baby, she can get out of any harness we have tried, and shouts and screams. :(

[ButterPieify]

i tried asking the HV, but she didn't give me any useful advice really.

Is there some kind of book (please don't say GF- I'm a babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding type of mum, she's just not that type of baby!)

[winnybella]

Really? She shouldn't be able to get out the pram. Hmm.

Just to give you an example, DD went through a phase of hating being changed. Wriggled, screamed, kicked etc. I just changed her quickly- grabbed her legs if I had to-basically forced her(obv. didn't cause her any pain)-but she never won iyswim and very quickly realised that there's no point in struggling.

Now, at 23 mo she knows when I say 'no' it means no. She is a quite stubborn little thing, but still she knows that she will not get the 3rd cookie or whatever.

So I sympathise, I really do, and I'm sure other posters will come with more helpful advice- I only want to say that it's important to not get angry or stressed- you're the parent. If she doesn't eat in the high chair, she shouldn't be allowed eating while crawling all over the place etc etc.

Obv. toddlers will have tantrums- so some thing you just have to let go. But not where safety or sanity of the family is involved