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Parenting

6 week old baby will not nap during the day

17 replies

andy2 · 08/01/2011 19:27

Hi, I'm new here, and new to the world of parenting. I'm also a Dad, so hopefully its not illegal to post on this site!

I've been reading what feels like the entire internet, including posts here trying to get an answer, and as I've failed I thought it was time to post....

I'm the full time carer for my DD, and up to 3 weeks this was all great. Then either Colic or Reflux struck (GP & HV still undecided) and things changed somewhat. Struggling with the usual issues and trying every known remedy under the sun, however one thing concerns me more. My DD will not sleep during the day, whether in moses, in bed with me or in a car seat. I don't have a pram, but do have a wrap and as long as I'm walking she'll close her eyes, though not sure how much of a sleep she's in. As soon as I stop walking, she'll wriggle and cry. I've been doing 3 x 2 hour carrying sessions per day but I'm starting to break down under it as I can't leave her and get rest.

I know this may all sound petty and that a lot of people have it worse (I've been reading some other posts which makes me feel very guilty posting this) but I'm struggling with it all at the minute. Especially on the wintry rainy days when I can't go out, and this means DD doesn't get any sleep (not enough run ways in the house for her to nod off!).

I'm also worried she may have some developmental damage from this lack of napping, but not sure what I can do. The HV says its odd and that all babies are different. I'm sure not many babies are this wired though!

Any help or advice would be very much appreciated. & apologies for the ramble, sleeplessness is not my friend....

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Porcelain · 08/01/2011 20:47

Have you tried keeping her in the wrap in the house? I used to do housework, cooking, decorating and allsorts with DS in a wrap. She might doze and the closeness is comforting

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Iggly · 09/01/2011 14:20

Has the reflux been sorted? Does she have a dummy? The reflux will be hurting her so a dummy is a great soother (ds has reflux). She might take persuading - there are a few types.

Try rocking her gently to music - used to work for me - in a corner so little to distract her. Then swaddle and pop in a bouncy chair. You could try a vibrating one. Basically don't lie her flat for day naps!

Also try to watch her signs and catch her sleepy. Best one to try first is the morning nap. DS used to get tired after being up for 45 mins (this includes dressing, changing and a feed). So I'd rock to sleep once he started to glaze over, look away etc. It got harder if I left it too long. I used to be able to put him in his chair while swaddled when he was tiny.

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Iggly · 09/01/2011 14:22

Also she's probably wired because she's overtired and overstimulated. They seem alert but actually need to sleep!

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Jenni126 · 09/01/2011 16:45

Hi, my little boy was exactly the same and still doesnt sleep much now to be honest 20 mins here 40 mins there. We found a vibrating bouncer to be a god send as he went to sleep with the bouncing motion and stayed soothed with vibration. I also found although I desperately didnt want to do a dummy helped (took him a while to get the hang of it but when I first gave him it he almost slept away the day). Maybe worth investing in a buggy that goes flat even in the house the forward backward motion helps to send him off to sleep too.
Hope this helps

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Fenouille · 09/01/2011 17:18

Things are similar here (9wo) and he's even stopped napping while out and about. No real advice but we did find putting a bath seat in his moses basket to prop him up a bit helped. I think I might try a dummy as he's feeding a lot during the day and some of it just seems to be comfort feeding. I'm also going to try putting him in his cot (actually an Amby hammock) for his afternoon nap to see if it's maybe an overstimulation thing.

Hope things calm down for you soon and the reflux/colic resolves itself too.

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andy2 · 09/01/2011 21:37

Many thanks for all the replies. Probably somewhat sadistically it makes me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one ever to have suffered with this! :-)

I'm using a dummy which definitely helps things to calm, and also on infant gaviscon and aptamil comfort, though not really sure how successful these have been. Though Gaviscon definitely successful at constipation!

The wrap around the house works but only if you're constantly moving. When you stop, the groans start!

I'll carry on trying to catch the window. It definitely happens occasionally, but she'll drift off for maybe 5 minutes at most then wake herself up, then its back to walking the streets!

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Iggly · 10/01/2011 06:25

How often does she feed? Might be worth feeding little and often as there'll be less load on her tummy too. Also can you try different bottles in case she's taking down too much air?

The comfort milk plus gaviscon will be bunging her up a lot! Worth asking about ranitidine (it neutralises the acid whereas gavsicon doesn't) and discussing the possibility of a cows milk intolerance if she doesn't improve in a few weeks. GP can prescribe hypoallergenic formula which tastes rank but if you give it young, then baby is more likely to take it!

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sux2bsanta · 10/01/2011 07:36

Good morning to you Andy and you are not alone!
and dads are welcome Smile I second the baby bouncer/vibrating chair. There's a lovely pink one for 24 quid on amazon...the outlay is then not too dire if she rejects it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Bright-Starts-Sugar-Blossom-Bouncer/dp/B002NGNF24/ref=pd_cp_by_2?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

colic - infacol?
5S sure you've read/do already...swaddle/sucking/swinging/side(but put on back once gone off)shhh (white noise on youtube or hoover if shushing not working)



Good luck, you are doing great under challenging circumstances. Also i know you are knackered but if you can muster the energy to find a pencil and notepad then if you aren't doing so already do a log of feeding times/nappy changes/any kind of sleeping for any kind of pattern.

How is she at nights? She sounds like she has got used to falling asleep to movement like lots of babies who sleep when driven or rocking etc but worse for you movement plus not being put down.

Keep at it love and hope the chair or something similar works out - she may grow out of the colic in a few weeks or maybe it is an early insomniac growth spurt?!

Stay strong.
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sux2bsanta · 10/01/2011 07:45

P.S you don't sound unreasonable/petty just knackered. Tisn't sadistic but schadenfreudig!
seriously always helps if people in the same boat. Also try not to fall into the trap of doing any 'you' time - surfing, reading etc at night if she is sleeping at all even if you are overtired yourself...it sucks, you feel you have no life/no time for you but you must get your head down whenever she does at night.

Any support for you evenings? If so you need to power nap Wink/ grab a couple of hours 8-10pm for example, get someone to do the 11pm feed for you?

Finally does she associate bathtime with bedtime? If so try a bath during the day (not soaped every day..skin will dry out.)

Baby massage/oil?

Again good luck. Gotta run. Moschops dinobaby awoke.

Babies do murder sleep. Should be okay in six years or so!!!

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sux2bsanta · 10/01/2011 07:54

P.P.S You mention a carseat. Does that mean you drive yourself/have access to car daytime?
if so driving round the block til she gets off then very very gently taking her indoors while asleep and not removing from the chair?

but she probably would need to be in deeper sleep if a light sleeper. My DH used to go up and down the M67 for me to the roundabout and back. 3x used to do it!

obviously: don't drive if likely to fall asleep at wheel.

Sorry if you have tried all these solutions already...

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Elsa123 · 10/01/2011 10:40

I second the vibrating bouncy chair and am seriously considering one of those chairs that swings from side to side too! DD doesn't have reflux or colic but I have found that when she lies flat she regurgitates her milk and when in her Amby Nest she never does. I recommend one.

DD doesn't sleep much in the day and its not that fun is it?! People think that as long as your DC sleeps at night then thats great, but you can never get anything done in the day. At around 8 weeks I discovered a good routine for DD (I'm lucky that she's been sleeping through since then). What we do is she sleeps until about 0800 then she's up for a nappy change and feed but stays in her sleeping bag and then she goes back to bed for 3 hours, curtains closed. It gives me a morning to get stuff done. She's then up at lunchtime, feed then its 3 hourly feeds until 2000 when she has a bath then another feed then bed. She's just getting to the stage at 12 weeks where she can entertain herself for short periods i her bouncy chair or playgym so I can get a few things done in the day. We always try to go out in the afternoon too otherwise we both get cabin fever! I hope seeing another baby's routine for a non day sleeper helps.

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andy2 · 10/01/2011 19:27

Sincere thank you all again. Nice to feel supported online as well as at home!

@Iggly
I've tried the feed little and often, though she seems to often shut up shop until she's very hungry! May try again on that one though. A pattern which I'm starting to see is between 1 hour and 1.5 hour's after a feed is when the inconsolable crying starts, pretty much without fail. This is when I normally try and soothe her, fail, put the screaming baby in the wrap and eventually she suddenly chills out and wriggles but closes eyes while I walk. On particularly bad days its hard to get any food down her as she'll scream and stretch the legs out during a feed. Unfortunately today was one of them days! I'm seeing the GP again on Wednesday so I'll ask about the ranitidine.

@sux2bsanta
Thanks for all the information, very much appreciated!
Once my wife finishes work she takes over after bath time in getting the baby to sleep with a massage and then soothing (this can take up to 5 hours so very much needed and is happening right now!). Definitely a sleep fighter! That baby bouncer looks very interesting and a good price, will investigate that straight after this message. I visited some friends in Whitstable (I live in London) and it was a 2 hour journey. The entire time she sat in her car seat looking out the window. I'm sure she's stealing my secret caffeine supply!

@Elsa123
Thats really handy seeing a routine. I definitely think if I can get one of the sleeps down, then she will sleep for quite some time as she's exhausted. Out of interest, do you have black out blinds? I'm also now looking at the Amby nest. Had never heard of that but does look good. Is it ok for them to sleep slightly arched (not sure if this is similar to the car seat rule where they can't be in it for > 2 hours?)

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Elsa123 · 10/01/2011 22:33

I bought a black out blind for her room but she still sleeps in our room without one LOL! The room is definitely dimmer with the curtains closed and its south facing so the sun only comes round in time for her to wake up iyswim. The Amby Nest creates a soft comfy curve not a solid one like a car seat and not being strapped in they can stretch and wriggle about. The big spring means that every movement she makes is accompanied by a slight movement of the bed. Also I can poke the bed with my foot in the middle of the night to set it swaying and she falls into a deeper sleep Smile. It breaks down very easily too and is lighter and smaller than a travel cot.

I only figured out the morning sleep when one morning I fed her and popped her back into bed to have a shower hoping she'd hold out til I was out as she always fretted at that point to find her fast asleep! Since then she's always slept in the morning.

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Spandangle · 10/01/2011 23:08

hiya - i had the same situation with my fiirst (due to colic i think)- no more than 20 minutes sleep at a time. 2 things worked for me;

  1. a chiropractor - but only for the initial 3 treatments

  2. putting her on her front to sleep Shock- she immediately started sleeping for 3-4 hour stretches! depends how desperate you get and how you feel about tummy sleeping risks
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lmnmum · 11/01/2011 09:54

Hi,

My LO is nearly 4 months and was exactly like this in the early weeks.

Lots of good suggestions already about how to help yours sleep so I won't repeat it - but just say that I found it to be a case of just trying lots of things until I found what worked (for us it was the pram and the baby carrier that did the trick).

When I could, I tried to put her down in her moses basket to sleep so that she could 'learn' how to sleep there. I also found playing a lullaby helped (eventually, not at first). Not necessarily because it calmed her (sometimes she screamed through the whole thing) but I think that if you do a consistent pattern of things before you put them down for a nap (e.g. lullaby, swaddle, rock, then lie down in moses basket) then they eventually learn that it is nap time and time to go to sleep. At first, I think my LO just had no idea that sleep was a good idea ever or that her moses basket was a place to sleep in! It takes time for some babies to learn what is good for them and what you are helping them to do.

Now she is almost 4 months and goes down for naps in her moses basket really well. It took some time to get there, but it can be done!

Also, I wanted to say that like you I worried about her lack of napping affecting her development (for the first few weeks she was only getting around 8-9 hours sleep in every 24 hours) and can say that I don't think it has really had any adverse effect in the long run. Your LO will sleep and will develop all the skills they need so don't stress too much about it! Just do the best you can and all will be fine in the long run, even if it is exhausting for you at the moment.

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Honeybee79 · 11/01/2011 13:02

My DS is 13 weeks and is the same during the day. I find that I have to watch really closely for signs of tiredness and put him down for a nap as soon as I see them. If I miss the signs he goes nuts and has a total screaming meltdown.

I have found the following to have helped a bit: a CD of white noise has been oddly soothing, rocking him to music has worked and letting him cry for up to 10 mins has worked. I can't stand more than 10 mins but sometimes the 10 mins is the only thing that calms him. He has also found is hands which helps him to calm himself to sleep.

Sounds like you're doing a great job - you're not being petty, it's bloody hard work!

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andy2 · 12/01/2011 19:42

Thanks everyone. I'm now on stage 1 of implementing the various strategies! Even had a stretch of 30 minute nap this morning in the moses basket. Life doesnt get any better!

Much appreciate everyone's help and thanks again.

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