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How to cope with rudeness and attitude 3yr old

(8 Posts)
christmascakequeen Mon 03-Jan-11 18:31:15

So

yes I know he is 3 and this is a stage but ds is becoming increasingly rude mainly to me, mostly repeating the last word of everything I say in a gremlin voice, running behind me and wacking me "by accident", ignoring me and saying things like "you are a stupid crocodile" typical three year old stuff really!

I have been keeping calm and telling him not to be rude, but the behaviour seems to be getting worse, tonight I made him go in his bedroom for five minutes after he said I don't want my dinner you are vile" although tbh this was after a long day of cheek and dealing with my diva almost one year old about whom I have posted another thread!

just looking for ideas to deal with the rudeness really, how do you seasoned mums do it?

lostinwales Mon 03-Jan-11 18:33:12

I have no idea but if you find out could you let me know. DS3 blush has me completely flummoxed at the moment. I think it's like giving birth, you forget all the bad bits!

Spero Mon 03-Jan-11 18:36:42

I just tried to stay calm, said 'that is rude, I do not accept that and next time you ask me for something, you won't get it because you have just been very rude' and then followed through. She seemed to get the message quite quickly. I don't know if little girls are different though - I suspect so from what I've seen from friends little boys; they seem to get much higher levels of aggression/rudeness from a very early age.

I would defnitely try and nip it in the bud by making it clear it isn't acceptable. One friend never did anything other than say pathetically 'o that isn't nice!' and then she said he was too little to understand. So when was she going to do anything about it?? When he is 16???

Start as you mean to go on I always say! But i hope it is just a phase..

OnlyWantsOne Mon 03-Jan-11 18:37:08

Dd1 (4) iS currently the same. We've probably been too soft since dd2 born four weeks ago. Answers back to everything tells me she hates me and horrific tantrums. Hellish child.

christmascakequeen Mon 03-Jan-11 18:45:14

Thank you so much even for letting me know I am not alone I think I just struggle when I see things I don't like in my own child

Spero Mon 03-Jan-11 18:45:41

I saw my friends little boy run up to her and kick her in the stomach when he was about four. I was completely shocked. I think it is so unfair on the child to let him/her grow up thinking that kind of thing is ok. She just told him 'it isn't nice' in a very upset voice. No punishment, no repercussions.

I think the really difficult thing is to stay calm but make it clear that you are angry and this behaviour won't be accepted. I know that is a difficult combo to pull off, especially if you are getting it day in, day out.

Can you get any support from partner/family members? If everytime he is rude he gets pulled up on it, loses a toy/pocket money/chance of treat etc, hopefully the message will eventually get through.

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 03-Jan-11 18:53:38

My darling, well behaved DD(3.3) has suddenly turned into a bossy, demanding, tantrum-y little madam. I have explained, calmly (well, the second time I was calm smile) that if she behaves like this she will not get what she wants. She actually stamped her foot earlier which made me laugh out loud (that went down well). All I am doing is reiterating, every time, that she must ask politely or she will not be getting anything; and that if she throws tantrums she will be spending time, on her own, in her room while she thinks about her behaviour.

This is having some success but I suspect that her behaviour will improve once she's back at nursery mixing with her friends again. I think some of it is because she's been with me for two weeks and is pushing harder than usual. At least I hope so!

earwicga Mon 03-Jan-11 18:57:17

Naughty step. As your child is 3 he gets 3 minutes. He gets a warning on first rudeness then goes to naughty step if it is repeated (within a v short timescale). It is an immediate consequence to bad behaviour, and no pratting about with charts etc. which a 3 year old doesn't associate with behaviour as it is delayed.

For violence mine went straight to naughty step, no warning.

I would not have put up with this behaviour, and didn't have to because of the wonderful naughty step

It does take a bit of time to get into the swing of this - keep putting child back on naughty step until he has done his 3 minutes. But doesn't take long.

And you also get a time out and it minimises shouting.

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