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Am I normal Normal??? please help!

(7 Posts)
daffydil77 Sun 02-Jan-11 21:40:04

I'm really at the end of my rope and don't know if I'm doing something wrong!!

My dd is 22 months and has taken to trying to smack me in the face she seems to get really frustrated and angry and I can't help thinking it's because I've done something wrong!! She has become a boisterous child in the past few months, but I know that's the terrible two's kicking in!!

I'm a single mum who shares custody with dd's dad. I often think that she prefers his to me as she doesn't seem to play up while at his house.

When she's with me she seems to fight me every step of the way. I have to wrestle with nappy changes, dressing, chase her around to get her to eat and she wont even look at the potty. I'm tying to keep my cool with her but I've never been tested so much and have to leave the room or put her in her cot sometimes to prevent myself from loosing it!

I've resorted to smacking her a couple of time and it makes me feel awful!! I know it's wrong and doesn't help the situation but the more I try and manage the situation calmly the more she fights against me.

Nothing I do seems to work and I'd really appreciate some advice or someone to tell me that I'm not alone!!

thanks for reading x

Deafworm Sun 02-Jan-11 21:54:07

YOU ARE NORMAL!

hope that helps, my youngest is 18 months and hits, as did dd1 and dd2, when she does it take the attention away, put her down and leave her, when she is ready to give you a cuddle explain that its not nice to hit, she may be little but she will start to understand the process. we thought we had it sorted but she has come back with a vengeance in the last few days, its usually frustration at lack of communication. could it be that your ex lets her get her own way? i think all children go through phases of preferring one parent to another, mine all have and we live in the same house so i would expect yours to if she is learning to deal with 2 sets of houses and routines etc. she will grow out of this behaviour if you keep consistently telling her its not acceptable.

having typed that im worried it comes over as if im saying its the only way, im sure its not its just the way thats worked with my 3, hope it helps or you get some other advice that does smile good luck

PurpleCrazyHorse Sun 02-Jan-11 22:08:48

DD is 16mo and has taken to pinching my face. I immediately say no and put her down. It's taking a while but she is getting the message.

Regarding meals, I wouldn't be chasing her around as it makes it a game. My mantra is that DD will only eat if she's hungry and won't starve. If she refuses to go in her high chair, that's the end and I try again later. It's annoying if it would be easier for me if she ate at the same time and I do cut right back on mid-meal snacks to try to ensure she is hungry at mealtimes. But sometimes she's not and that's fine hmm grin

Don't worry if it seems she prefers your XP, I think all kids go through phases and as others have said, maybe he lets her get away with things? At 22mo, you're her world and she loves you loads.

Unfortunately limited advice on nappy changing as DD is terrible for it. I find changing her in front of Cbeebies helpful, as is giving her something to play with (tights, muslin, toy, nappy etc)

daffydil77 Sun 02-Jan-11 23:01:19

Thanks Girls!! That really is more helpful tan you know!
It's just nice to know that i'm not going insane or being a really bad mum!!

Deafworm i think the thing you said about lack of communication holds some weight. As DD is an only child It's just us most of the time and as you can imagine it's quite hard to find stuff to do a lot of the time!! i try to involve her in the house work and cooking but she's more interested in demolishing everything around her! i guess i have to learn to be more patient!!

wayoftheworld Sun 02-Jan-11 23:13:53

Clear a bottom cupboard in the kitchen and put all your tupperware in it. She can play with them while you are cooking...

And yes you are very normal!!

Deafworm Sun 02-Jan-11 23:19:32

oh boy tell me about demolishing!!! seriously she is being normal and its normal to be frustrated by it.

have you tried getting some pans out of the cuboards and giving her a wooden spoon?

building brick towers specifically for her to knock down and you both to giggle at?

step back a little from the day to day and think about silly things you can do with her?

dress her up in wellies and teach her to splash puddles?

talking to her about everything is great, my middle child needed speech therapy and the therapist said the amount of parents she met who didnt ever describe things or just natter to their kids amazed her, she had a parents group going purely to teach parents exactly what you are already doing grin

I dont know about you i get so caught up sometimes in the housework that i forget to play so i try to make a point of stopping at least once a day in all my craziness and just chasing them round for tickles or letting them climb on me or even just sitting down with a dvd and a cuddle! took a long time for me to realise that though certainly not when dd1 was little probably not even when dd2 was.

hope im not suggesting things you already do/dont fit your life i just thought id pop some of the daft things i do down and maybe one of them will help.

purple is right though 'you're her world and she loves you loads' sometimes its really easy to think they hate you, we all have those days but she doesnt she adores you and when she is a bit bigger she will tell you and show you, constantly, and when shes a bit bigger than that she will tell you to get her own way.... look forward to that one!

daffydil77 Wed 05-Jan-11 01:12:42

Really appreciate it girls!! I was having such a bad day. I hadn't been out in ages. i'd had DD in doors for days apart from the shops and visiting friends for a couple of hours!! We had so much snow i couldn't go n e where and when i tried to play with dd in it she freaked out!!lol. suppose we were just getting frustrated with each other!!

Believe it or not. i've done all this before with my two eldest!! They live with their dad and i don't see em unfortunatley..(long story for another day) I had so much more patience with my elder girls and i was less likely to let them run circles round me! Now i'm just a soft touch and sometimes feel much less motivated than i was when i was younger.

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