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5yr old thinks hes the best at everything!

(4 Posts)
Jaycie Fri 17-Dec-10 22:22:30

Hi mums, Ive never post here before asking for advice but not really sure what to do about my son who is 5 nearly 6.

He's a very quiet, sensitive little boy and doing brilliantly at school, but he really knows it! He's a perfectionist and everything he does is always to his best ability, gets very upset at the slightest mistake.

he's always been very competitive which is something we've been dealing with. now he's starting to upset his friends and his sister! All we hear is "I'm better than you" "thats not very good" etc. even at dinner time he was eating his dinner and said "I'm doing better than you" to his sister. If I try and tell her she's done a nice drawing he comes and says its not good and he can do better! It happens constantly.

He said to his friends mum at school today that he couldnt read his xmas card because it wasnt very good! I was mortified!! (the card actually was very good for a 5yr old boy, just not upto my sons ridiculously high standards!)
I've tried so many times to explain that people are different, that its not kind and upsets people, his sister is younger etc etc, but its just not sinking in . sad he just doesnt seem to be able to think about other peoples feelings. How would you deal with this??? I'm lost at what to do.
Thanks in advance for any replies. xx

SomebodyElseMomentarily Fri 17-Dec-10 22:26:52

My 6 year old had this - very similar. It took me reiterating and reinforcing many times that its not kind; just as you are doing. It did sink in eventually - it will with your ds too

hillyhilly Fri 17-Dec-10 22:32:02

My DD can often be like this and I find myself taking her down a peg or two where I can.
Eg, when she points out that friends can't write as well as she does, then I try to identify what they do well, often skipping, bike riding etc which is an area thats not her forte in an effort to explain to her that not everyone is good at everything. Gradually it is getting through, she is almost 6.
The other thing I do with her is to point out that she's hurting people's feelings and to coach her in how to say it better, she generally is not trying to be hurtful, she is just honestly pointing out that her writing (or whatever) is better, we work out a way of saying things that is kinder.
All this seems to be working for her friends eg her peers, it is harder with her little brother as of course, she can do most things better than him!

Jaycie Fri 17-Dec-10 23:01:49

Thanks I'll definately keep telling him, even though I feel like a broken reccord!!

Thats the thing, he's not trying to upset anyone - he just honestly thinks hes the best! Definately going to look at how we could re word things - thanks smile

I've tried explaining peolpe have different strengths, I think he understands. Hes got a friend at school, who he likes alot but quite competitive with, and he sometimes tells me he did something better, and I always remind him his friend can do plenty he cant etc.
Like you say its hard when they have younger brothers/sisters as yes he can do most things better.

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