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Gatekeeper parentingJu

(4 Posts)
halia Wed 15-Dec-10 18:22:19

st had a tense whispered row with DH and he accused me of gatekeeper parenting..... what is this and should i be worried?

Row was because DH was getting DS ready to go out to an Xmas event, I couldn't go because I'm on crutches atm.

DS is performing so my expectation of DH 'getting him ready' was that he would be all washed and reasonably tidy looking. I got annoyed when I found that ... no teeth cleaning, hair brushing, nail cleaning (they were filthy) or nail clipping had taken place and that DH was about to take DS out without any gloves/hat despite it being cold and rainy out there and DS walking to and from event.

cornonthecob Wed 15-Dec-10 18:50:30

ask him? communication is the key to a healthy relationship imho especially when children are involved...

Hope you are back on your feet soon smile

Hassledge Wed 15-Dec-10 18:55:53

I think you probably already know that when your DH was found wanting, rather than say "sorry - should have remembered X, Y and Z" he fairly deftly passed the blame back to you with a fairly meaningless/bollocks accusation.

I don't know what it means. I'm guessing controlling? Why do some people find it so hard to say "yes, I cocked up"?

halia Wed 15-Dec-10 19:08:26

OK i looked it up... it means someone who won't let the other parent make parenting decisions.

thing is I'd LOVE to let him do that, but I guess I'm unwilling to compromise on certain standards. To me its just basic parenting that if your kid is about to appear in front of all the other parents/teachers etc in a performance, that you try and make sure they are clean, tidy etc.

He said it didn't bother him so it was fine, but tbh it DID bother DS, I heard him yelling after his bath that his toenails were mucky and needed cleaning (too young to do it himself), and it bothered me ALOT.

It drives me up the wall tbh, its the same if we go out/ away.... DH swans around,packs his few things and leaves me struggling with my stuff, DS and the house.... AND then has the gall to say halfway to our destination.... "did you remember to do / pack X" (usually something like did you remember to check how to get there.... erm NO, I was doing childcare and making sure house was locked up... you are DRIVING you bloody well make sure you know where we are going because tbh once in the car I'll have my hands full with a small, bored, shouty, travel sick child)

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