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Are there any practical differences between a 17 month gap and a 22 month gap?

(12 Posts)
zabwino Mon 06-Dec-10 12:29:02

DD is 7 months old, and my DH and I have always planned to have kids close together in age. So the plan was to start ttc when DD was 1. But now we're wondering - if we want a small age gap, why wait til she's 1, why not start now?

Practically, is it particularly any easier / harder to look after a new born with a 17 month old sibling than it is a 22 month?

tillymama Mon 06-Dec-10 14:19:00

I've got a 16 month old, and the only thing I can think of that might make her a little "easier" at 22 months is that she'll be talking better.

However, some babies are still not talking by 22 months - and you're not going to know that ahead of time!

FlouryBap Mon 06-Dec-10 14:38:06

I had a 17 month gap. There were some logistic problems - such as my DD1 only started walking a month before DD2 came long and she still needed quite a lot of help doing stuff like eating, handling stairs etc etc. Also she was just starting to string sentences together at 17 months (her first one was 'baby in the bath') while at 22 months she had had a word explosion and could express herself very well. We ended up having two cots as I couldn't face having to deal with DD1 running around at night until DD2 was a bit more settled. Also, DD1 wasn't the most fantastic sleeper at night by 17 months and i found that being up with two babies was very hard.

however, as she was so wee, she accepted everything as they are still very flexible at that age. it was good being pregnant when she was so young as she still napped and not as emotionally demanding as she is as a toddler so I could veg and sleep more than I could do now.

Now that DD1 is 2.5 and DD2 is 13 months life is SO MUCH easier and they are starting to interact really well. A lot of my friends are having their second around now and I am really glad that I had mine so close together.

SkyBluePearl Mon 06-Dec-10 14:51:21

My friend had a 16 month gap and it looked like such hard work. Now they are a little older it seems much like having two lively puppies at the same time - behaviour wise they bounce off each other hugely. I think 22 months would be a tad easier - although i recon 2 and a half or 3 years would be best for me personally. The eldest has a much higher level of understanding, be at preschool and have enjoyed a full babyhood. There are pluses and minusus to each gap really though to be honest. With a smaller gap you can be back at work faster - if thats what you need to do?

zabwino Mon 06-Dec-10 16:00:48

Thanks. I hadn't considered the comunication aspect, or the benefit of being able to have pregnant naps while DD naps. Also, I can see the appeal of having a 3 year gap, but I like the idea of getting all the baby years done together.

zabwino Mon 06-Dec-10 19:05:37

Bump

naomilpeb Mon 06-Dec-10 19:25:15

Mine are 22 months apart - DD is almost 2 now and DS is 2 months old.

I think the main differences between DD now and five months ago are: she's a much stronger walker, so we haven't needed to get a double buggy (but I get the impression that this is unusual even with a 22 month-old); she actually started hating her pushchair at about 20 months so there's been no resentment about DS using it; her communication is definitely more advanced than it was five months ago, so she can make herself understood a lot more easily; she started doing proper independent play (like building with her duplo, playing with her doll and soft toys, looking at books by herself) about a month before DS arrived, which has made it easier when I'm feeding him as she'll just potter off and do her own thing usually); she's mastered stairs.

On the minus side, she only went and bloody gave up her afternoon nap a few days before DS was born! But I think that's on the early side for doing that. I certainly wasn't expecting it and boy do I miss it!

hellview96 Mon 06-Dec-10 19:26:38

I am going to have a 16 month gap and the pregnancy has been a breeze, my LO is not bothered if I just lay on the floor all day as long as I am with her.

Also I won't have a lot of time to get used to the fact that my LO sleeps through, it would be a hard adjustment if there had been a few more years gap and you had to suddenly go back to the baby years. I'm used to being depended on now and that will just continue for a little longer.

GoingToBonnieDoon Mon 06-Dec-10 20:51:03

I have about 16 months between mine, my 2nd pg was hard and I think it would have been easier with a slightly older one. Though now I wouldn't change it at all. I think they will be so close in terms of interests and stage of play that its going to be great.

I'd assumed DD1 would be walking before DD2 came along but she was a late walker so for a few months I had two that needed carrying which was tough, but manageable.

I get lots of comments about having my hands full with a small gap etc and it is hard work but it is great fun!

popplepops Wed 08-Dec-10 21:25:50

my age gap is 14 months. my dd is 4 months & ds is 18months. it wasn't planned, esp as my dh works away month on/month off. it's bloody hard work but its getting easier every week & i'm pretty sure by 1 and 2 i'll be happy it happened.

logistically i find it difficult... getting out the house takes forever etc but my ds loves his sis and has aapted really well. also i like they won't remember life without each other so jealousy won't be such a problem. me &my sis had 4.5 yr age gap and that was really tough.

my ds is quite advamced though.. he'd cut all his teeth and could walk/run and say a good few words before dd turned up so that helped. in fact the teething thing would be the worst cos 2 teething together would've killed me.

either way you make it work whatever the age gap... nothings ever perfect!

Firawla Thu 09-Dec-10 00:11:17

i had 17 months between my 1st two and found it quite easy, ds1 was quite young so never had too much of a jealousy issue really he just accepted the baby and adapted quite well and they get on well, cos they are quite close together i keep almost the same routine for them both which is easier than having to do 2 seperate things i think. i cant imagine a 17 months gap is much harder than a 22 months, in a way it may be easier? i found it ideal really because they are old enough to walk, talk a little bit, feed themselves etc but young enough to still be almost a baby so they can be treated similar and adapt quickly.
my 3rd one is due when ds2 will be 21 months so will see how that age gap works but i was eager to have them quite close because of how good i felt it worked with ds1 and 2 i wanted similar to that again rather than having a bigger age gap, as i feel a bigger gap could end up more challenging

Firawla Thu 09-Dec-10 00:13:02

wow popplepops all his teeth by 14 months!! that's lucky for you, my 2.5 yr old is still getting through his final teeth and yes two teething is not great

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