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I really need some advice, my heart is saying yes but my head is saying no...

(4 Posts)
becks130 Sun 05-Dec-10 19:49:32

I have 2 beautiful children, my DS is 4 and a half years old my my DD is 10 months. After we had our daughter I said that I would love to have another soonish as I found it was like starting all over again leaving a 4 year age gap. My DH always wanted 3 children but as soon as DD was born 'changed' his mind and was happy with the two of them, I decided to start an access course for uni as I was under the impression he wanted to wait a few years before having anymore if at all. My problem is that this morning we done the deed without contreception and when I said about getting the morning after pill DH shocked me by asking me not to and lets see what happens shock I have said that I will think about it but obviously I need to be quick, I really don't know what I want confused My course finishes in June but I have applied to uni's to start in Sept 2011, any advise would be really helpful, has anyone else been in this situation??

Thanks

nubbins Sun 05-Dec-10 19:59:49

I havn't been where you are, but if I were I think my decision would be based on how much family support you have, how well you cope with pregnancy (morning sickness etc), how you would cope putting 2 little ones into childcare if you go back to uni and how much help you DH is around the house. If you have 3 small kids, doing a degree and running a house is not going to be a picnic.

I gave up my OU courses when I was pregnant with DC3, it was just too much!

BUT on the other hand, when is the perfect time to have kids?

it's a bit unfair of your dh to make you decide like this really!

girliefriend Sun 05-Dec-10 20:07:47

The fact that you are in this situation makes me think that on some level you want another baby, I may be wrong but otherwise I think you would have sorted out a prefered method of contraception rather than the morning after pill (which is not at reliable - I know from 1st hand experience!!) 3 kids will be hard and I imagine mean putting your course and uni on the backburner for a while but I am one of 3 and loved having 2 brothers!!

becks130 Mon 06-Dec-10 14:15:06

Thanks for your replies smile
After a lot of thinking about it I decided to take the morning after pill today, I realised that I have plenty of time to have another baby. Also I have put so much time and effort in to my course I think it would be a complete waste of my time if I had to give it up.

I still feel completely torn because I do really want another baby and the thought of waiting another 4 years upsets me a little but I really want to go to uni next year. I do feel that it was a little unfair of my DH but I know that he just wanted to let me know that he has changed his mind and I was really struggling with my workload and mentioned in a moment of madness that I might think about giving the course up.

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