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Stick with3 or have 4??

(17 Posts)
mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 19:52:52

I have 3dcs aged 4.5, 2.5 & 8mth

Things have been hard since the third arrived..and i was certian that i was done, loving having three but also excited about moving on from the baby years.

Then i had a scare..and i was very scared..but then i became disapointed and now cant stop thinking aobut maybe having one more then sending dh for the snip.

Do you have four..close in age?

I obviously understand it rare to regret having another but with hindsight would you have stuck with 3??

NonnoMum Tue 30-Nov-10 19:54:59

I have 3 similar ages to you. Keep having dreams where I refer to my four children.

But then we'd have to buy a ridiculous car etc etc. And I don't think I can face my boss and tell her about another maternity leave...

kingfix Tue 30-Nov-10 19:56:33

And (adopts resonant voice of doom) It Could Be Twins!

Dh and I decided to go for number 3 and have recently found out we're geetting a bonus number 4 at the same time.

mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 19:58:04

kingfix shocksmile hoe scary and exciting!

What will the gaps be?

mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 19:58:24


Imarriedafrog Tue 30-Nov-10 20:00:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 20:04:42

wow five dont think i could cope with five but its a good sign for four if your going for 5! Did you find four alot harder? As i have found 2-3 hard

kingfix Tue 30-Nov-10 20:24:58

mummysmadhouse, Dd will be 4.8 and DS will be 22 mo when the babies are due. Eek!

But you have three already so must be an old hand at this. Go on, you know you want to! <irresponsible encouragement>

I think the car/holiday/laundry business gets a bit daunting with four though.

mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 20:36:18

grinTwins may be a blessing you will have a good balance in the long term i think and they will all be close age it was such a shock thou!

kingfix Tue 30-Nov-10 20:46:18

Yes, a bit of a shock!
Might be worth thinking about in your situation, seriously, what if you had twins?

We just joked about the idea of twins, but looking at the stats - I'm older and have had several pgs before (m/cs as well as the 2 dc) - my chances were actually relatively high.

Having said that I'd never have chosen to have twins but now I know there are 2 in there I feel very excited about the prospect of a big brood. Not the first few months tho, I don't feel very excited about that.

mummysmadhouse Tue 30-Nov-10 20:57:25

Long term i think it will be fab..ive always thoughts twins would be scary but also very exciting. Saying that i think in my current situation it wouldnt be so good!

NonnoMum Tue 30-Nov-10 21:18:27

Can I ask, though, does anyone WORK with more than 3 (sorry if that sounds patronising/mad). It's just that I could never afford not to work, but where I work they seem to think I'm a freak for having 3, and don't know if I could face another maternity leave... If I did have four, I'd probably only take two weeks off as I'd be so embarrassed.

And how do people get round the car thing?

NonnoMum Tue 30-Nov-10 21:18:48

Congrats on the twins btw... smile

kingfix Tue 30-Nov-10 21:27:19

ahh, work. Well I work p/t at the moment and have calculated that 3 days a week nursery for 3 under 3's would be £23K a year. So I guess I won't be working for a while.

I'm self-employed so don't have the difficult maternity leave conversation to have.

And what about when they're ill? Or rather when they play illness-relay? But I guess you must already have a bit of that with 3 NonnoMum.

The people I know who work and have 3+ all have treasured nannies, but I would have do to something rather better paid to afford one.

Dunno about the car thing yet, but I see lots of dicussions about it in the larger families topic. I guess you have to get a 7-seater and learn to pack light.

SkyBluePearl Tue 30-Nov-10 21:28:56

would have loved 4 if ony I'd started early enough! x

NonnoMum Tue 30-Nov-10 21:47:44

Ok - need to have a serious conversation with DH. It's either a Zafira or a Vasectomy...

I wonder which he will consider to be the most painful; boxy car, or bolloxsy-pain.

mummysmadhouse Wed 01-Dec-10 08:55:23

grin at nunnomum

Just said to dh i keep having mad thought about four dcs and he smiled and said 'ok, lets get on the case tonight then' shock

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