Oh what to do....
I need advice on how to help my highly strung 5 (nearly 6) year old navigate the ups and downs of life.
She is an intelligent and articulate child who is kind and thoughtful but tends to over-think absolutely everything to the point where she is often crippled by indecision and lack of confidence. What to wear, how to greet friends, what to draw, how to make friends and keep existing ones, ask for things from strangers, influence her friends etc.
She has always been a 'heavy weather' child and I've been exasperated by her self-defeating behaviour so many times right from day one. Severe separation anxiety, pooing phobia, leg hugging at parties...it seems that where ever there is 'fun' by other children's standards, for her its a stressful situation which she'd rather not have to be involved with. If she does manage to let herself go and have fun it is nearly always followed by claims that she didn't have fun & somehow it's our (myself & husband's) faults.
I am not a critical parent (to her face!) and my husband & I are forever pep talking her, trying to bolster her confidence. She's not always like it but at the moment I feel like things are geting worse and she's holding herself back. I know she is very over-tired at the moment. She sleeps from 7pm til 8.15am when we always have to wake her up for school but get tears & tantrums most mornings. At weekends she's often pale and moody by the afternoon (same after school).
I really can't understand where it all comes from. She has a very stable day to day life, involved and loving mum, dad, grandparents. I don't work full time, we are not stressed at home about money or relationships. I used to think that this was just parenting but we have another dd (nearly 2) and she is sunny, fun, very out-going. Even taking into account 'second child' factor, it makes me feel even more sure that dd1 is not right.
Does she have mental health problems, is spoilt or will grow out of it. What do I do to help & cope with her moods/negativity?
Please help with any advice or comments!
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
Over-complicated 5 year old
10isenough · 29/11/2010 22:10
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