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What do you do if you stay at home once your DC are at school?

(51 Posts)
Orissiah Mon 29-Nov-10 11:18:24

I'm really curious actually. I understand that many parents stay at home to look after their children when they are babies and pre-schoolers, but I am curious to know how many Mumsnetters remain at home (not doing paid worked) after your DC start school. If you do, then how do you fill your time? And do you enjoy it?

knackered76 Mon 29-Nov-10 12:01:31

I'm studying to do my second degree. I get 5 afternoons with ds at nursery and dd at school. Am currently pregnant with no.3 so that will fill my time when ds goes to school full time! If I hadn't been expecting another bundle then I would have spent the time finishing my degree, usual house stuff and volunteer work. Also go into school a couple of times a week to help out. You strangely do get to fill the time . . . . not sure what I'll do when no.3 goes to school, think then I should go back to work grin. As for now, off to do the ironing, put clothes away and wrap presents!

meltedmarsbars Mon 29-Nov-10 12:04:16

Garden, allotment, hens, cooking, housework, jam-making, painting, reading the paper, coffee with friends, volunteer at school....

I would like to work but one of my dc's has too many days off and hospital appointments, and we reckon one dh in the household with a stressful job is enough. 2 would be hell.

willali Mon 29-Nov-10 12:12:29

manage household with all that entails - keeping it clean, planning and cooking meals for all, laundry doing all household admin including planning holidays, arranging all necessary workmen / fixing things etc, volunteer roles (2), gym, walking 2 dogs, the occaisional lazy as anything day grin

It's amazing how much you can fit into a school day!

ItalianLady Mon 29-Nov-10 12:15:05

I haven't worked for over 10 years and all my children are now at primary school. I volunteer in school twice a week, I do all the stuff relating to housework and shopping. I cook and bake a lot. I am always available to see the children's plays at school and if they need picking up early. I like not working and rarely are bored. I want to do more volunteering but can't see myself going back to paid work.

pagwatch Mon 29-Nov-10 12:16:45

I never understand the 'fill your time' thing
Do people really not have enough things that they want to do, love to do and need to do that they would have to think of stuff?

I am at home. The kids are at school. I would love more time in the day. I am really lucky - I would actually like more time

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Mon 29-Nov-10 12:16:59

I will sleep and poo alone

and not answer a million questions an hour between 9am and 3 pm

Bunbaker Mon 29-Nov-10 12:23:42

I work two days a week. On the other three days I:
do the laundry
iron
housework
shopping
have coffee with friends
ride my bike
garden
cook
wash up
do household admin
at this time of year write out Christmas cards, buy and wrap up presents

I never seem to have enough hours in the day. Like pagwatch I don't understand the "fill your time" thing either.

scouserabroad Mon 29-Nov-10 12:30:30

I am trying to get back into work after being at home with the DDs while they were small. So, that's back to work in the middle of a recession, yay! I have done some temp work, but am currently going through an unemployed patch... will hopefully find something soon but in the meantime:

- Cleaning & housework.
- Allotment (not so much today, what with the snow!)
- Cooking
- Learning a language @ evening class
- Learning to use new software which will be useful for work
- Reading: basically trying to expand & update work related knowledge.
- A tiny bit of volunteering
- Running: may as well get fit seeing as I have time for it. Aiming for NY Eve 10k run <not bloody likely emoticon>
- And of course looking for work, which does take a bit of time...

I do worry about never finding a job, never making anything of myself, but I try to think of this time "off" as an opportunity rather than a problem. I don't think I'd like being off work forever more though, I think I'd end up getting bored, and anyway some money would be nice!

DurhamDurham Mon 29-Nov-10 12:33:05

"manage household with all that entails - keeping it clean, planning and cooking meals for all, laundry doing all household admin including planning holidays, arranging all necessary workmen / fixing things etc, volunteer roles (2), gym, walking 2 dogs, the occaisional lazy as anything day"

I do all that except for dog walking and I work 30 hours a week. I always feel slightly put out when SOME sahm's seem to think working mum's don't have same amount of work to do at home. We don't all have cleaners, nannies or gardeners. One of my friends seems to think that someone comes into my house when I leave on a morning and gets it all ready for when I get in from work...I wish grin

rubyrubyruby Mon 29-Nov-10 12:39:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clockspotter Mon 29-Nov-10 12:40:17

Yup, me too Durham, Durham. I work a 45 hour week (during term time) and do all the washing, cleaning, meal planning, walk two dogs, organising DD's clothes, packed lunches.

I cant help feeling VERY jealous of being able to go to gym, garden, read and have coffee with friends!!!!!!!!!!

Ragwort Mon 29-Nov-10 12:41:51

We've had a about three threads on this subject in the last few weeks. It's getting rather tedious.

I am too busy to reply - SAHM with one school age child grin.

rubyrubyruby Mon 29-Nov-10 12:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Mon 29-Nov-10 12:44:37

Actually I will make another comment - those of you who 'can't imagine what you'd do if you didn't work' - what do you expect to do when you retire - or do you want to work until you drop dead? Is your life so totally focussed on your job that you really can't imagine doing anything else?

Clockspotter Mon 29-Nov-10 12:49:45

Who 'can't imagine what you'd do if you didn't work'?

I think I was busier on mat leave that I am at work. At least I get to finish a cuppa at worksmile.

scouserabroad Mon 29-Nov-10 12:50:40

Can't speak for anyone else, but in my case there are tons of things (travel, activities...) which I'd like to do but can't quite afford. DD1 would like dance lessons, I'd love for her to be able to do that when she is old enough (i.e next year, eek!) If money were no object, I'd have a different view on being a SAHM I think.

I wouldn't want my life totally focussed on my job, but I do definitely want a job grin

DurhamDurham Mon 29-Nov-10 12:55:18

Is your life so totally focussed on your job that you really can't imagine doing anything else?

My work is just one part of my very happy and busy life. I would love to work less without sacrificing holidays/standard of living because I could think of loads of things to do. My gripe is that some sahm's seem to think that working mum's don't have housework, shopping, school plays, planning of holidays to do.

Dexterrocks Mon 29-Nov-10 12:56:44

When my youngest son started school last year I lost count of the number of people who asked me what I was going to do with my time.
I clean, do laundry, cook, walk the dog, see my parents, see my friends, do the shopping, volunteer at the school... I never have enough time to get everything done.
I used to work when my eldest was younger and we were all thoroughly miserable. I was a teacher so I was up til 11pm every night preparing and marking and earned very little by the time I had paid for child care.
I know it is not the right choice for everyone but we are all much happier now that I am at home.

Elk Mon 29-Nov-10 13:01:28

I do a bit of cleaning, but mostly I do things I enjoy, reading, playing the piano (am teaching myself), jigsaws, knitting, going for walks, yoga. I also used to run a toddler group and now volunteer at a local community shop.
This morning I took dd1 to a hospital appt. Last week dd2 was off school ill.
We have just moved back into our own home after a long time in temp accomm so I have spent the last few months dealing with builders, insurance companies and now I have to refurnish our house. I have never done so much shopping in my life
dh works very long hours and has admitted that most of this year would have been very difficult if I worked.

newpup Mon 29-Nov-10 13:02:49

I look after the house and all that entails. Cleaning,washing, ironing etc. I go to the gym, walk the dog and I volunteer one afternoon a week for a local charity.

The fact that I am at home means that our house is always presentable, the children always have everything they need for school and I have plenty of time to ferry them to their after school activities and help them with homework and music practice.

I have time to help at DD2's primary school and DD1's guide unit. I can always help on trips and go to daytime assemblies and concerts. I can help on the P.T.A. and pick up if they are ill during school time.

I love my lifestyle and really enjoy being a full-time mother and housewife.

scouserabroad Mon 29-Nov-10 13:03:18

I agree with everyone who says that life is easier being at home, Dh works away Monday - Saturday so I have to do all childcare.

WideWebWitch Mon 29-Nov-10 13:07:03

Oh I love it. I spend about an hour a day doing chores (washing, tidying, ordering shopping online) then I

- walk some days
- read
- meet friends for lunch
- mess about on the Internet
- do stuff that needs doing, eg Christmas shopping (all done weeks ago), vet appointments, getting things fixed

It's bliss.

Orissiah Mon 29-Nov-10 13:26:07

I'm not a housewife or a SAHM as I work, however I do love the flexibility working from home on a self-employed basis gives me. I can work my own hours whilst DD is in fulltime daycare and also fit in chores, drop everything to look after DD if she's ill, cook, garden, read etc. I used to work in an office and it was hard to fit everything in (though perfectly possible). Now my evenings are free and weekends are not spent charging around catching up.

DH also works long hours and is out of the country alot and he too admitted it was perfect that I work from home as I could do all drop offs and pick ups.

When DD goes to school I look forward to being flexible enough to attend school events (during the day), to ferry her to after school activities, to help her with her homework.

When I worked in an office from 8 to 5 or 9 to 6, my house was still presentable, chores still got done, my DD was well looked after and happy.... but now I am certainly less stressed.

bigchris Mon 29-Nov-10 13:32:49

Presumably people do whatever working people do on their days off

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