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Started school and toilet training gone to pot. Help?!

(2 Posts)
Tummum Tue 23-Nov-10 19:00:56

DD2 (4.5) is middle child, potty trained quite late when she was 3, but seemed to get it straight away.

Since she has started school she started to have wee accidents at home, which has gradually got worse and worse until today where within 3 hours she had 3 wee accidents.

DD2 starting school has co-incided with DH working away (in the States) for 3 weeks at a time, changing nanny, and me switching from 4 days to full time working, so to be fair to her it's loads of upheaval and change for her to deal with. But she seems perfectly happy and settled in herself, likes school, the new nanny and doesn't seem bothered by DH being away.

I have tried different methods to try and help the situation:
1. Getting cross and putting her on the naughty step / shouting (not proud of this but getting to the end of my ther.)
2. Totally ignoring it
3. Threatening Father Christmas won't bring pressies
4. Sticker charts
5. Rewarding with chocolate (she likes her food!)
6. Trying to spend more quality time with her
7. Talking to her about why she is doing it and how it's not the thing to do
8. Taken her to the GP to ensure it's not an infection (there was a small trace of protein so sent to labs but no result yet)

I am running out of ideas and getting quite stressed about it. In fact it would be fair to say I feel like I am really failing as a parent because of this sad. At parents evening last week I brought it up, not the teacher, and we agreed that school would try to remind her to go to the loo regularly but try not to make a fuss so that she starts to hold it in. I am pretty sure that when asked DD2 is saying that she has gone to the loo when she hasn't, even to the extent of going to the toilet at school but not actually going but staying inside the cubicle (i.e. lying to the teacher.) Today when the nanny picked up DD2 the teacher was quite uppity about having to clean up after her and about us needing to 'sort it out'. I wish I could just 'sort it out' but I am running out of ideas and have no idea what I am doing wrong.

Sorry for the epic post. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation? Any suggestions or ideas how to manage this better? Should the school be helping me more?? I just have no idea what else I should be doing sad

TIA

anonom Tue 23-Nov-10 19:17:02

Hello - I don't know much but worked as healthcare assistant in hospital - from little I know - small trace of protein can be infection. Infections do cause incontinence. Don't get stressed - sounds like she's a bit poorly. I would just put a dvd on and give her a cuddle. Sounds like you've both been through a fair bit of change.

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