Presents for your husbands/partners

[atswimtwolengths]

When I was married, my (now ex) husband and I used to love buying each other Christmas presents. We didn't tend to get anything huge, but we'd get cds and dvds, clothes, books and odd little things.

I was really shocked when friends of mine said they didn't buy each other a Christmas present. Then I noticed on here that quite a few people say they don't buy their partners a present.

I can really understand how difficult it is if money is tight, but not to buy anything?

Those of you who don't buy anything for your partner, can you tell me why? Did you used to buy them presents, prior to children?

[atswimtwolengths]

Sorry, meant this to be in Chat - didn't even know this section existed!

[Ragwort]

I very rarely buy my DH a present - I find it hard to get something he really likes; the sorts of things he likes are obscure bits and pieces for his bike or fishing (boring) - he knows exactly what he wants and I would only get the wrong bit.

Sometimes I have carefully chosen a book that I think he would like and although he is always polite about it, I can tell its never quite right; likewise clothes, food, music - our tastes are just so totally different.

Equally he never really chooses the 'right' thing for me, perhaps I am too fussy. After over 20 years of marriage I have given up expecting him to 'get' my taste .

The best thing is if we buy something together like a picture; also, we just have so much 'stuff' that there is really nowhere else to put new things.

For my birthday he valeted my car - that was a brilliant present. I expect he would like me to give him a night of passion in bed - but that's not really my thing !!!

[atswimtwolengths]

Well as someone who's been divorced a long time, a night of passion would be just up my street!

Couldn't you write Christmas wish lists? It would be easy then to get something that was right. It just seems so unChristmassy not to get someone in the house a present.

[Ragwort]

Well, I suppose I don't really want to have to go into a fishing shop and buy a ten reel rod or whatever the latest gadget is (once I had to get some maggots and got the wrong sort ). I commented earlier on the 'how much do you spend on presents' thread that Christmas to me is so much more than presents .......... we enjoy going to church together, nice meals, seeing family and friends, often go away on holiday, our DS has a few (carefully chosen!) presents - honestly, we have a lovely time !

[atswimtwolengths]

Oh god, yes, I wouldn't want to be buying maggots for anyone! I had the in the wheelie bin one summer when I forgot to put it out and it wasn't collected for a month - never want to see those things again!!

I think what sparked my question was when a friend I hadn't seen for a long time was on the phone saying she hated Christmas, bah humbug sort of thing, and said she never bought her partner a present - it just seemed quite miserable, really, because the reason she seemed to hate it was because she didn't like spending money. She earns more than I do and so does her partner (I'm divorced) and I think I was just a bit shocked that she begrudged spending money on her children (but bought them something at least) and on her partner.

[Roo83]

I just buy dp a very small token gift,usually something jokey. To be honest if there's something he really wants he will just go and buy it-I've tried loads of times to get him something special and he just isn't grateful at all. He rarely buys me anything at Christmas but is very generous and spontaneous through the year. It's very sad to say but since having children I'd rather spend all my money on them,at least they are delighted with their presents where as 9 times out of 10 I'd be sent back to change dp's! We enjoy being together at Christmas time (he works away a lot) and love all choosing and decorating the tree and other Christmas traditions....just not buying gifts for each other

[WidowWadman]

We always set a budget which is split into 2/3 for the stocking (yes, there has to be a stocking, and the husband does want LEGO in it), and 1/3 for the main present. The budget is adjusted to the income at the time, e.g when we had very little and I was on maternity leave with our daughter, the challenge included to make things ourselves, not only to save, but also because it's nice. One of the things he made was a bracelet which looked like licorice allsorts made out of polymer clay. I absolutely love it.

We both love winding each other up with hints etc in the run-up to Christmas. And there wasn't a single year where we haven't accidentally got at least one stocking filler for each other which was exactly the same (last year we both made Flying Spaghetti Monster tree decorations).

I really don't understand how anyone would not want to get something for their partner.

[deliciousdevilwoman]

Oooh, I love buying things for him and have over the years gone to a lot of effort and expense (we did tend to treat each other to a surprise holiday/ long weekend away as a "main" present")alongside smaller gifts to open on the day. However, now I am 33 weeks pregnant with a DD and have recently given up work, I will have to scale right down (and that includes my 22 year old DTS's!)
That's ok. It isn't the amount of money-it's the thought and effort, but I do tend to go overboard at Christmas and birthdays.
I couldn't not get him anything and I think he would feel the same about me.

[pranma]

My ddh gets a stocking,a book and some pressies-this year he is getting a train [for his layout] and a new winter coat + assorted bits and bobs.

[Ephiny]

We do, though I'd be perfectly happy not to get presents and it surprises me when adults take it so seriously. To me Christmas and birthday presents are for children. If I wanted anything, I could buy it myself, whereas a child usually can't.

DP does buy me little presents at random times though, which is nice, though I don't expect it.

[Ephiny]

Also if you have shared household finances (we don't), buying stuff for each other is a bit like buying a present for yourself, which may be part of the reason for some couples?