Help before I ebay DS2

[ELMSTER]

Ok - so I'm not really going to ebay him, but we have gotten lost somewhere, and I do desperately need advice. And sorry for long post!

THE BACKGROUND: DS2 is 5 months old. For the past 6 weeks ish he has had nasty ear infections with two burst ear drums, but we have now got the all clear from the Dr. Prior to ear infection he was in a routine (ish) of sleeping 3-4 hours at night in his moses basket and all was well. DS1 is 4 and has always happily settled with anyone for cuddles etc.

THE PROBLEM: DS2 doesn't settle with anyone but me. ever. If I leave the room he screams, if I have a shower he screams, if he sits on anyone elses knee he screams, he won't go to sleep anywhere but the car or in my arms (doesn't stay asleep in the car when it stops) He won't settle with DH and will scream nonstop (longest so far is 1.5 hours while I had my haircut) We have fallen in to the habit of co-sleeping.. i.e I will cuddle him to sleep then put him in his cot, he wil wake up every 20 minutes or so until I pull him in to bed with us where he will stay for the night, feeding constantly (During the day he is going betweem 3-4 hours between feeds)He is solely BF although I am desperately trying to get him to take a bottle of formula in the hope it will help him bond with other people.

I am so tired I can't see the woods for the trees. I am not a definite 'routine' person, but this is not working for me, I need to start reclaiming some time now for DH, DS1 and me.
What would you do/have you done? I am willing to consider any advice, anything that helps. I am happy to keep doing night feeds..but I need some proper sleep in between!!

[FernieB]

Poor you. You and DS2 have been through a rough few weeks. It'll probably take him a while to recover.

If you leave him with someone else does he scream the whole time you are gone, or does he settle after a bit? I would keep persevering and leave him with DH for a bit. I know you'll hear this a lot, but it really is a stage and he will grow out of it, eventually.

[Simic]

It really sounds like you've all had an awful time with the ear infections. It sounds like he just needs that bit more at present when he's been in pain - and in my experience, when little children feel like this it almost always has to be mum. This kind of thing can really drive you to the end of your tether (I know from experience!). But, (and now you're going to hit me!), I've found that just when you think you're at the end of your tether, you often find you've got a couple of centimetres of rope left and that's JUST enough to get you by until everything's quietened down a bit.
I agree with FernieB about persevering with DH being more involved with him. Our ds still tells dh all the time that he doesn't want a kiss and he just wants me, but actually they can have fun together if dh manages to distract him.
I'd just be there for him, feed him, cuddle him and try to come up for air whenever you can.

[tostaky]

after one od my DS is ill, im often in ur situation... a healthy babyi who dont want to go back to his bed....
i found that putting him back in his bed asap was helping as he would sleep longer and longer stretch on his own, progressively losing tihe habits of having me poclose to him.... takes about a week to get "rid" of DS1and a couple of days for DS2