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God, having a baby just FUCKS your body up!

(30 Posts)
OhCrapingHell Sun 14-Nov-10 09:46:07

I'm so fed up with the toll that having had two children has taken on me. Aside from the lack of sleep, and ensuing bad skin/bags under eyes/general look of death warmed up, I have throbbing nipples which will forever be misshappen. Stretch marks to rival the tube map, I'm fat due to eating so much sto stave of nausea while pregnant and now to sate the ravenous hunger that comes with bfing. I've had my fanjo sewn up twice, and it is now bucket like. My rings don't fit on my fingers, I have to cross my legs if I sneeze and need a wee. I had all kinds of aches and pains while pg, plus insomnia. My hair is falling out all over the place, I have hypothyroidism that came on after having DD1, and to top it all off I have a problem with my backside which means I have ranging uncontrollable wind and yesterday I literally crapped myself

My husband is very grateful for the children I have born him but I don't think he will ever understand the irreversible effects having babies has had on my body, not to mention my mental health.

OhCrapingHell Sun 14-Nov-10 09:49:52

Oh, and my breasts are never going to even point outwards again let alone upwards.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 09:52:14

Same here. I don't have stretch marks, but I have most of everything else on your list.

I gave birth vaginally to three, but I still have this weird apron on my stomach now.

My tits are headed for the South Pole.

I don't have money for gyms, either.

chibi Sun 14-Nov-10 09:54:07

are you not recently postnatal?

it can get better, my youngest is 18 months and i can look at myself naked now without flinching, my body is different to what it was before children but a different i can live with

please be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to do to get by

please also see your gp re backside probs you should not have to 'cope' with that

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 09:55:02

I've had 3 and the youngest is 2 years.

The pelvic floor issues got better.

But everything else didn't.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 09:56:23

I had to see a gynae physio after having DS because my abdominal muscles separated again and took forever to go back in addition to having my second instrumental delivery and with the middle child I had a fistula into the bargain.

OhCrapingHell Sun 14-Nov-10 09:58:57

Yep, am 7 weeks PN. I will call the GP on monday. It's just the reality of it all hit me today. It seems so unfair.

RedFraggle Sun 14-Nov-10 10:09:27

Agreed.I've had 2 children. Both c-sections. Have a little overhang that does not want to go. Stretchmarks everywhere, some so deep I can actually poke my finger into the chasm...
Droopy boobs, extra weight, chronic exhaustion and two slipped discs from picking my heavy son up not long after my appendix out.
Even though I have lost most of my baby weight my figure is irreversibly fucked if you'll pardon the expression.

I have two lovely children, but I wish that getting them didn't involve the complete annihilation of me.Like you, DH does not 'get it' at all.

sneakapeak Sun 14-Nov-10 10:10:08

Oh craping hell I know how you feel.

I have hypothyroidism after the birth of my 2nd. It is so unfair and Id never heard of so many problems before having children (the lying bastards).

Im 11 months on and haven't lost a bit of weight even though im still BF.
I too eat more calories than BF requires and I blame comfort eating/boredom.
Im dreading seeing my boobs when I stop completley, burst balloons spring to mind. My rib cage seems to have stayed open and I tried to do some excercise recently and learned I can't, without weeing myself blush.

Any more experienced mums further down the line found the pelvic floor improved enough for running?

Im hoping crapinghell that excercise will improve everything and remember, we will evetually have more time and feel less frazzled and stop turning to chocolate for comfort (fingers crossed)!!

sneakapeak Sun 14-Nov-10 10:13:47

expat did you end up with hypothyroidism too? Didn't realise how often this happened.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 10:14:14

No. Like RedFraggle, I'm just irreversibly fucked.

RedFraggle Sun 14-Nov-10 10:14:35

sneakapeek. Pelvic floor exercises are essential. If you search under my name there is a recent post about my lovely experience of fanjo physio after the birth of my second child. There are tips there. I can run again without problems now smile

OhCrapingHell Sun 14-Nov-10 10:35:32

So sad that the rest of you have had similar problems.

another thing, after my first lot of stitches you couldn't tell, but this time i have a slight 'ridge'.

expatinscotland Sun 14-Nov-10 11:24:08

After my second instrumental delivery, I had to use those cones for the pelvic floor.

I look like death warmed up.

belgo Sun 14-Nov-10 11:29:10

It does get better. Get physio therapy to improve the pelvic floor, it really can make a big difference. In Belgium post natal physio is standard for all women for exactly this reason, it works for most women.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 14-Nov-10 11:33:11

Message withdrawn

OhCrapingHell Sun 14-Nov-10 11:41:09

I've named changed btw. i spill most things on here but i really don't want to forever be the one who crapped herself

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 14-Nov-10 11:48:21

Message withdrawn

belgo Sun 14-Nov-10 11:56:34

Of course there is no shame in it. It happens to many women and can be treated - please go to the GP.

pigleychez Sun 14-Nov-10 11:57:01

Oh I know how you feel!

2 kids here too...2.3yrs and 5mths. 3rd degree tear and epi with first, 2nd degree tear and epi with second.. so thats like a patchwork quilt!
I am fat and flabby with boobs that just hang!
Im so fed up of looking frumpy and knackered.

Pelvic floor isnt too bad but not what it should be.
to hear about your other problems. Hope the GP can help sort that for you.

Sprogger Sun 14-Nov-10 12:01:18

It DOES get better. I have 3 children under 5 (my youngest is 7 months and trying to slap the keyboard as I type), and I've found that really focussing on core body strength and pelvic floor exercise helps a lot.

You don't necessarily need a gym. You do need to find something that you can fit into the time you have. For me that's been walking - I walk literally everywhere, and I invested in some of those MBT-type wobbly trainers that make me hold my stomach in even when I'm standing still. (Note MBT-type - I didn't want to pay the money required for actual MBTS, so I found something cheaper that works on the same principle.)

With this last baby, before I went back to work I also did the 30-Day-Shred video when my eldest two were at school/preschool. It's only 20 minutes, so much easier to cram into a childcare-dominated day than most other types of structured exercise.

Now my weightloss is based on work-related stress alone. blush

Beyond weight & toning - someone once told me it takes two years to recover from pregnancy and birth. If, like me, you've had two children less than two years apart (I had a 10 month gap between my first two pregnancies), you may need a bit more time and effort to recover.

belgo Sun 14-Nov-10 12:04:42

I agree sprogger - I have three children, the youngest one is two years and it's only this summer that I finally feel happy with how I look. Totally agree about walking - but as you say you have to walk a lot for it to make a difference. The stretch marks fade and bfing has helped my waist to go back to a healthy size.

belgo Sun 14-Nov-10 12:05:42

I think there is an acceptance amongst women that these problems are inevitable and we have to put up with it - but that is simply not true.

NellyTheElephant Sun 14-Nov-10 16:46:42

As others have said, although things will never be quite the same again it really DOES get better. I've had 3. Youngest now 18 months and really my body is not THAT bad now, in fat I quite like myself. Things slowly started to return to normal by about 9 months post DC3. With each of mine I found that final batch of baby weight tended to dissipate after I stopped bf. Aches, pains & insomnia cleared up after DS was reliably sleeping through. Even droopy boobs not as bad as they were. I had C-Sections for all of mine, so different set of physical problems to you, but still all hugely improved now.

SofiaAmes Sun 14-Nov-10 16:57:20

I can totally relate. I was having many of the same symptoms which I put down to giving birth and babies and etc. etc. However, it turned out (after visiting zillions of doctors of all types in the uk and us) that a chunk of my problems were hormonal. I had my dc's at 37 and 39 and I was starting to be peri-menopausal around the same time. My mother's delightful obgyn explained all of this to me (this was 3 years into visiting doctors) and put me on the pill (low dose, mono-phasic) and almost all my adverse symptoms (like bladder leakage and mood swings) disappeared within a month. It didn't solve the sore stitches and exhaustion, but not having the other stuff to deal with certainly made life more bearable.

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