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Coping with crying

(11 Posts)
Newmumlondon Wed 10-Nov-10 17:40:22

My normally sunny 12 week old is teething at the moment and most days gets to a point where nothing will settle her. She whinged and whined all afternoon, I tried anbesol but didn't gave much effect. I got fed up with being constantly whinged at (this has been going on for almost two weeks) and just put her down which prompted grumpy wails. I lost patience a couple of times and shushed her really crossly and loudly which I think scared her and upset her more. I eventually gave her calpol which has done the trick but I feel really bad about losing patience with her. Her little face went all shocked. I really struggle to contain my frustration with her when she cries for ages and I feel like such a wicked mother. Normally she is lovely which makes me feel even worse for being mean to her. Does anyone have any tips for coping with this? I know the is not even a bad case!!!!

bacon Wed 10-Nov-10 18:09:07

I know your fustration! I think the only way is to walk away. You can do no more. Many a time I got up made sure he was fine and went into the garden or shut the doors and put the hoover on!

I see nothing wrong with a rant, far too much PC stuff going on, Ive shouted loads in pure fustration - its done no harm.

constant whinging is one of the worst things to deal with mentally!

dribbleface Thu 11-Nov-10 20:18:45

agree with bacon - we have all done it. i can remember putting DS down at about this age and going into my room and screaming into the pillow.

Far safer to walk away and compose yourself then get more and more uptight.

When Ds was really bad we would walk for hours - he would still scream but at least it was less noticable out and about.

Mobly Thu 11-Nov-10 20:34:48

I think constant crying/whinging is very mentally draining and tests even the most patient of parents.

If you feel your self getting annoyed then you need a break and in this scenario it's best to leave baby safely in her cot and have yourself a few minutes away from her.

A good coping tip is to pretend you are being filmed! Can the baby's dad/ your mum/ a friend take over for a while to give you a break? Take baby for a walk in buggy and get some fresh air? Just keep in mind that it's only while she's teething and it will pass.

TheLadyIsNotForNapping Thu 11-Nov-10 21:24:50

Is she napping properly? I only say this because I was unaware of the amount of daytime sleep babies need until my daughter was about 4 months old blush. She'd often only have one short nap a day. Once she started having 3 naps a day we saw the end of the afternoon/evening grumps.

She's still not keen on sleeping long at naptime (hence the username). But having regular naps built into her day really helped.

tryingtoleave Fri 12-Nov-10 08:18:35

It is fairly unlikely that she is teething at 12 weeks, unless you can actually see a tooth coming through. If she is very distressed she may have an ear infection or something it is worth seeing gp about. Otherwise she might just be tired or grumpy or going through a developmental change.

Mobly Fri 12-Nov-10 09:59:28

Soe babies do have teeth at 12 weeks but yes, I agree, it's definitely worth ruling out anything else. Although, most likely with an ear infection there would be a high temp too.

Newmumlondon Fri 12-Nov-10 12:06:16

Hi all, thanks for the posts. It's definitely her teeth, I can feel bumps coming through and she feeds ok again once I've put on teething gel. The problem is that when her teeth are sore, she doesn't feed properly, then she won't nap coz she's hungry, then she gets really grumpy (she normally has 3/4 naps a day). health visitor is happy she's teething and it isn't something else.

Normally I would take her out but on Monday I had to wait in for a plumber and then the weather was so dreadful I couldn't face going out. Her dad works long hours and no family close by. Most days are good and we get along great. It's just coping with those days where everything goes wrong and you feel like the walls are closing in on you and you just feel totally alone with a grumpy baby who won't settle no matter what you do. I have met up with some local mum friends this week and am going to make an effort to get out more and do more activities to avoid getting so cooped up feeling.

Thanks for listening, I think venting helped me on Monday! And next time I really feel frustrated I will put her in her cot and go next door to take deep breaths. Not sure what else there is to do!

Mobly Fri 12-Nov-10 19:42:07

Just a thought- for when you are desperate- have you tried Cbeebies? DS2 loved looking at programmes like Waybuloo, even at that age if I remember right. It might be worth 5 minutes respite if it works.

Mobly Fri 12-Nov-10 19:43:35

White noise, such as the hoover or washing machine can be soothing to baby's too.

Newmumlondon Sat 13-Nov-10 07:53:01

I haven't tried c-beebies, will give it a try if desperate! She loves the kitchen fan, that goes on every nap time :-)

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