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Would you take parenting advice from this mother?

(4 Posts)
taintedpaint Wed 10-Nov-10 16:06:03

My friend (who I have posted about before) is struggling to some degree with her baby DS. She is a good mum I believe, just having the usual wobbles that a new mum has (that she isn't doing it right etc) and says some things she doesn't really mean in moments of sleep deprivation. I've been supporting as much as I can.

Anyway, she has an acquaintance who I vaguely know who has been offering up advice. This is a woman who is quite a bit older than my friend who has three DCs. Two of them (ages 10 and 13) were removed from her care by social services and placed with their father. The eldest (age 15, has a different dad) remained with her but it is a daily struggle between them just to exist under the same roof. There have been threats to the girl to put her into care (the DD is told her mum will "get rid" of her) and I have heard the mum speak quite horribly about her DD in front of her, and the DD just sits there not saying a word, as if she's just used to it. The mum also has significant problems with alcohol, but claims that these are in the past. I am not so sure.

Anyway, the above person has been giving my friend advice. Personally, I don't think anyone in those circumstances has any place giving parenting advice, but the advice she is giving is a bit hmm, including putting the baby to bed on his tummy to help with sleep, and to quit breastfeeding because there's no point now. Those are just two examples btw, there have been other gems.

So what do you think? Would you take parenting advice from that mother? My friend will accept advice from anyone at the moment, as she feels like she's doing everything wrong, but it just seems like this woman is doing more harm than good.

RobynLou Wed 10-Nov-10 16:09:21

I would nod and smile at her advice, then probably ignore it, just as I would do if she had a 'perfect' family.

VinegarTits Wed 10-Nov-10 16:12:13

get her to register on MN (your friend who needs advice i mean)

taintedpaint Wed 10-Nov-10 16:13:30

I've asked her to register here before VT, may have another bash at it. She doesn't seem to get online very much at the moment, but I will try.

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