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everyone has days (weeks?) where it's tough, right?

(23 Posts)
happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 12:22:01

Please reassure me! I have a very easy baby (or some I'm told, she's my first) but am finding it tough this week. She needs a lot of sleep and is whinging between sleeps constantly and is starting to grate big time. And I would dearly love to find time to dry my hair just once this week (never mind get ready before 1pm) but she's scared of the hairdryer so I never get chance.

I know this is nothing and I feel bad for moaning but her whinging goes through me like nothing else. My (childless) sister visited the other day and was clearly appalled that I was frustrated with DD (I didn't shout at her or anything just clearly was exasperated when I answered the door) and when I told her I had to put her down for 2 mins to calm myself (and wee) she looked at me like I was a child murderer...

Doesn't help that I am recovering from illness and can't get out much but grrr! I need to find some perspective today, particularly as DD gets more whingy when she's not entertained and I don't feel very funny or entertaining

Someone hit me with a big wet fish, please!

PutTheKettleOn Thu 04-Nov-10 12:39:36

oh yes, just had the week from hell with my toddler, there are so many ups and downs with this parenting lark it's untrue!

One tip - if you're a fanatic hair-straightener like me and feel like you look like crap without it, get yourself to a hairdresser and get it chemically straightened. Best £100 I ever spent, now I can just leave it to dry. It may sound frivolous and I'm not normally one to faff about appearance but it has made my life so much easier smile

Also, it's ok to leave the baby to cry for 5 mins while you have a wee!

soppypreggyloon Thu 04-Nov-10 12:40:46

THIS IS NORMAL!!!!!

seriously we all have days weeks or months when its hard.

how old is dd?
may be she has a bug coming, a tooth on the way or some developmental milestone ahead. those things always threw ds for a bit.

try and get a break if you can - even half an hour for a bath will help.

ignore your sister too - till you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes don't judge! i never knew how hard it'd be till ds arrived and now i'm expecting dc2!

just have a cuddle on the sofa, with some books and if all else fails try some calpol and cbeebies!

cupofcoffee Thu 04-Nov-10 12:44:20

Yes I think it is tough for everyone at times. I found it especially tough with my first because life as I knew it had completely changed. Just small things that I took for granted before like your thing with the hairdryer. For me I found it hard that I could no longer quickly pop out to the shop etc, it had to be the full get baby ready and strapped into seat, make sure nappy bag in check etc just to go on a very short trip.

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 12:45:58

She's 5 months, bless her she is so happy and smiley just whingeing a lot between sleeps (smiling whilst she whinges, how on earth can I get ratty with her?!). She's so tired at the minute it's untrue, I think she must be having a growth spurt as she's very hungry too.

I do ignore my sister - she's very quick with her opinions but I know for a fact she'd last 10 mins before going mad, she's not exactly the patient sort.

I do know this is normal, I just wanted to rant really and hear other people say it, rather than be looked at and told the immortal words "She's only a baby you know, it's not her fault"

GRRR I KNOW!

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 12:47:26

PS - thanks for the chemically straightened hair tip, will ask my hairdresser about it as I hate letting it dry naturally. Well I say dry, but it's so bloody thick it takes hours to vaguely dry and then goes all weird. <vain>

SeaShellsOnTheSeaShore Thu 04-Nov-10 12:54:57

I'm having one of those days too! Sit and dry your hair with her there-on a low setting, Ds is fascinated with me doing it! Don't be afraid of leaving her safely for a couple of minutes to put the kettle on or go to the toilet. It is tough, my first dc's cry use to go straight through me, I would get so stressed by it. I'm now less affected.

Tomorrow will be better! Could she be teething?

potplant Thu 04-Nov-10 12:58:06

I cried for hours once because I hadn't blow dried my hair for a week. You know its trivial but its just the sort of thing that tips you over the edge!

We've all been there.

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 13:00:10

Oh she's been teething for weeks, but not in pain I don't think. It's definitely tired/sleep related, do they need extra sleep when meeting a new milestone?

I wish I could dry my hair but it terrifies her, even on a low setting. Funny thing was she used to love it but even on the quiet setting she starts trembling and starts howling

Yeah I know it's fine to leave her, I needed a break that day and hardly think it's unreasonable to leave a whinging baby for 2 mins. My sister is a perfect parent despite having no kids!!

Hope everyone's day improves!!

SeaShellsOnTheSeaShore Thu 04-Nov-10 13:03:41

Lol, it will be hard not to say " told you so" to her

Try a dose of carpool or teething gel-she may have teeth grumbling and it may give her the chance for a decent nap and right herself iykwim

cupofcoffee Thu 04-Nov-10 13:04:01

Your sister is a perfect parent because she has no kids wink. Maybe her time will come one day.

SeaShellsOnTheSeaShore Thu 04-Nov-10 13:05:22

Ha ha, calpol, iPhone comedy spell check!

potplant Thu 04-Nov-10 13:06:52

Parenting is sooooo easy when you have no kids. I cringe when I think of some of he pronouncements I made pre-babies.

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 13:08:45

She's past the age of having kids, so no chance unfortunately to tell her I told you so! Although she did look a bit shocked at the "You have no idea what it's like when you have not been up in the night, had her all week" etc etc rant she got.

My friend said it's payback for all the things I said pre-DC and I fear she may be right.

She's actually sleeping really well, just needs to keep sleeping loads throughout the day IYSWIM? She slept for 12hours last night as well shock I've tried combining a couple of naps today and that hasn't gone down too well, plus she's getting a bit upset when the dummy falls out but can't face taking that away just yet. Am sure it'll be better in the morning, she's back up now (whinging )

TheLadyIsNotForNapping Thu 04-Nov-10 13:50:47

Also having one of those days. 9mo dd refusing to take afternoon nap after refusing to eat lunch. Now face choice of whiney baby or spending half the day trudging about in the rain w pram. Had a great morning tho- that's how quickly I find things can change from amazing to frustrating.

I find myself aching for bedtime some days, then feel bad as dd is a thoroughly pleasant baby and I'm v lucky.

tellyaddict Thu 04-Nov-10 14:01:07

Oh yes, TOTALLY normal lol!!! We all go through it, even though some parents would never admit it. It's healthy to share and rant, us women like to talk things to death.

When I feel like this, I find it helps to go out, even if truly knackered. Just going for a walk or to local supermarket (and grabbing a coffee when little one finally nods off in pushchair) can give a different perspective. Or visit a toddler group/friend (who understands) all helps. Sometimes it helps the baby too, as a change of scenery can be distracting enough.

Have you got anyone who would take your baby for an hour so that you can pamper yourself/sleep/drink coffee in peace? If you do, ask them, even if it feels uncomfortable. I don't have any family around me so didn't have this option and found it incredibly tough.

It does get easier though. My youngest is nearly three and we have such a lovely time together now, I'll miss him when he goes off to school (where as I felt relieved more than anything when 1 and 2 went off to school blush).

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 14:53:25

It's funny how quick it changes isn't it thelady? Hope the rest of your day is not too bad.. I so get what you mean about feeling bad because they're a good baby!

Unfortunately tellyaddict no support here either, and nothing much in walking distance. I've been ill for a long time, and although a lot better, still struggle to get out sometimes. Probably should have forced myself today but couldn't face the car and walking in the rain didn't appeal much either

I think it'll get easier the more I'm able to get out and about more.

tellyaddict Thu 04-Nov-10 16:35:20

oh happygilmore that's a shame. I at least can walk to a supermarket or library/coffee shop so have a 'purpose' for going out, not much fun wandering around aimlessly, infact just makes you feel worse! Can you have a blether with anyone on phone when you can't get out??

Gargula Thu 04-Nov-10 18:33:40

I'm going to echo what everyone else has said and say that it is totally normal.
I have two (3 years DS and 7 months DD) and I must admit I'm seriously not enjoying motherhood much at the moment.
It's much easier when out, as others have said, so I try to find outdoor things to fill our days.
I'm sure it will get better when I actually get some sleep.

sfxmum Thu 04-Nov-10 18:56:19

to OP yes everyone goes through that at different times and your sister's attitude just is not helpful

I clearly recall being at the end of my tether when dd was about 3-4 months old and calling my sister in desperation, she just told me 'make sure the baby is safe close the door go to another room for a couple of minutes and take deep breaths'

I hope you manage to go out and see people who are helpful or have them come around for a coffee, it really helps

sneakapeak Thu 04-Nov-10 19:41:56

Yes normal.

My 11 month old has had a sickness bug for 11 days now. Usually very easy going but has winged day and night for the full 11 days (grrrr).

Then my 3.5 yr old got it for 4 days last week and it was hell.

Tonight im meant to be finally getting out the house and meeting 5 old friends for a meal and copias amounts of wine and Ive just came down with the bloody sickness angry.

I had a new top and everything!

I have to say though, she will get easier from now. 5 months is the beginning of everything relaxing, by 7 months you'll be able to look back and see a huge difference.

It gets less intense I promise. x

happygilmore Thu 04-Nov-10 21:17:11

Oh sneakapeak, that sounds bad, much worse than my day! Hope you feel better soon. Gargula, hope it improves for you too - I genuinely have no idea how people do it with two.

I do feel a bit of a fraud moaning as I have a daughter who sleeps well at night (and a DH who gets up when she doesn't) and is generally so smiley and happy. I think it's just tough going recovering physically and going a bit stir crazy at home. A trip out if I can possibly manage it is planned tomorrow!

sfxmum - your sister sounds ace! Thankfully I have another one more like yours who has told me very similar things today too. She's brill, I love her to bits Other sis is a bit like that over everything, I should know better than to let her get to me, but it was just one of those days I guess.

nah1974 Sun 07-Nov-10 21:09:59

I'm having a period like that at the moment! DD is just over 6 months old and suddenly needs the most enormous amount of sleep. I am really struggling to get her to nap enough during the day, and she has gone from being a model baby at bedtime to having massive screaming marathons. And it is HARD. No advice for you - just sympathy - and I'm hoping that what one of the other posters said about everything getting easier at 7 months is true!

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