how to stop them arguing

[jollyjollymom]

my twin girls are 4yrs now, and they are in the playschool, they argue for each and everything,goes on for ages, and they expect mamma/pappa to sort the problem. I don't really know how to stop them. I am so stressed out, so as my husband. could someone please come forward with useful tips.....

[JiggeryPopery]

walk away and let them sort it out themselves

honestly, it's the best thing to do, otherwise you get dragged in and have to side with one of them and then you get accused of favouritism and MORE sibling rivalry ensues


if they're fighting over an object, remove it, or them (whichever is smaller and more portable!)


start a policy of 'you fight, you don't get'

they will soon learn that squabbling means they BOTH miss out

[anonymosity]

I agree 100 % with JigPop
I use this technique with my two and it WORKS.

[Othersideofthechannel]

You can't. But you can teach them how to come to solutions by themselves. "Sibling Rivalry" is a good read.

To" walk away and let them sort it out themselves" I would add "turn on the radio" to drown out the sound. I try to only intervene it sounds like it is getting dangerous eg when I hear doors slamming.

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

Agree. You can't.

and you shouldn't try.

"I try to only intervene it sounds like it is getting dangerous eg when I hear doors slamming."

Chicken. my policy is 'intervene if the blood spurts hit the ceiling'

My mum always used to try to mediate between me and my sister. It used to drive us potty. We never resolved anything because mum was always there sticking her beak in. Sometimes conflict is ok.

[Merle]

I tell mine they need to be in separate rooms until they can be together and not argue. At least in stops the bickering and makes them realise that their behaviour has an affect on other people in the house.

[jollyjollymom]

that's a good one Merle, I will try that.... I have tried loads like not to intervene... but it doesn't work at all, cos when ever there is a fight or an argument (always there's either one) I can hear them scream mamma.....

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

Oh mine do that as well.

I say "sort it out yourselves."

I am mean.

Mind you, Himself's mum (who had ten children!) used to say she would give them sticks if they really wanted to fight

And if one of them went to report another, she would listen to the entire story and then ask "well, since you are all mine, which one do you think I should throw away?"

She is also the person who said "They (cry) tears not blood."

A very very loving mum and grandma I promise you, but firm.

I suppose you would be if you had ten children!

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

not sure why I put cry in (). sorry.

[JamieLeeCurtis]

This works a treat for me - when they are arguing about a toy, or who gets to watch what on the TV, and it's getting heated.

Go into the room and say "I know you can sort this out for yourselves so I'm going to go away for 5 minutes and when I get back if you haven't sorted it out - with no shouting, name-calling or hitting - then I will sort it out". Your "sorting it out" should be separating them or taking the toy away or turning the TV off ie fairly punitive

When I have used it I've immediately heard whispering the minute my bak is turned and they have stopped fighting,.