lost custody of my sons

[Shani2010]

hello i have three sons aged 9,7 and 3. after my third was born their dad left me and made an application for custody. he has a job where he earns over 100k a year hes got a good solicitor wheras i was unemployed at the time, he won custody. this was two years ago. the judge said they were to stay with him till they turn 18 and ordered i was allowed contact one saturday a week which i had for the first 18 months, then my ex moved to scotland! i live in london and i have a very sick mother to look after, moving to be nearer to them isn't possible, i can't abandon my mother and in any case i can't afford it.i haven't seen them now for 6 months. i love my boys and i miss them terribly. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do when i handed them to my ex. i never believed he'd get custody. i was a good mum, hows it fair to seperate a good loving mum from her kids in this way? my youngest was still very young but my other two boys were 5 and 7 at the time and it was harde for them and me, we used to just sit ans cry together sometimes on the contact. just because he has money doesn't make him a good dad, i don't think he mistreats the boys but he doesn't really want them either he just took them so that i couldn't have them. its the type of man he is. when we split he wanted to punish me and he did that very effectively. it is killing me being away from them. any advice? what can i do? i've tried getting this back to court and its like a brick wall.

[NonnoMum]

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. I don't have any experience in this field but just wanted to send you some positive vibes...

Is there anyway you could try to keep the contact going? Take an overnight coach to see them? Or buy train tickets ages in advance?

AS I say, I don't know much, but am sure it would be good for all of you to keep up the contact???

[mumblechum]

Sorry but speaking as a family lawyer, there's clearly something missing from your story.

Your ex would not be allowed to move to Scotland without either your or the court's permission.

I suggest that you firstly check whether you're eligible for public funding (legal aid) and if so, book an appointment with a solicitor specialising in family lawyer on the resolution website www.resolution.org.uk

[Shani2010]

he did have the courts permission mumblechum

[GypsyMoth]

there must be more to this....alot more!!
you need to fill in the blanks a bit op....

[MrToad]

Agree with Mumblechum. In my experience it is very rare for fathers to be given custody and even rarer that a court would allow the father to move without permission.

[Spero]

Yes, agree with mumblechum. You don't just get residence of three small children because you've got the 'better' lawyer. It is nothing to do with how good your lawyer is. Family law is not really 'law', judges aren't swayed by 'clever' arguments, they look at who can provide the best home for the children.

There are lots of people who can help you, but you have to be open about what was going on. What were the reasons given for the change of residence? Even if you don't agree with them, they must have held some weight with the court.

If you feel able to share, we might be able to help you.