Cot=cage?

[SuiGeneris]

Does anybody else ever feel bad about having their baby sleep in a cot, behind bars as it where, rather than in the parents' bed or a co-sleeper?

Read some time ago that when anthropologists asked the women in some remote tribe about breastfeeding at night the women asked the researchers whether it was true that in countries such as Europe and North America people put their babies in cages at night. And, when you think about it a cot is a cage- a comfortable one designed for the safety of its inhabitant, but still a cage.

So, have I gone soft (in the heart and in the head) or have others also felt like this?

And what do people do about sleeping arrangements? The more time goes on, the more I would like a co-sleeper while DH would like DS (nearly 8 months old) to move to his own room...

[cyb]

Its only a cage to stop them rolling out for heavens sake

I couldn't wake to get my children in another room (3 months max)

[cyb]

WAIT not wake!

[mamasunshine]

No, I've never felt bad. As its safe and what they know I suppose. Also I co-slept with my 2 mostly for the 1st 10 months, and gradually moved them into a cot next to me, then into next room by 1 yo. They've never seemed bothered by it.

[onimolap]

My DCs used to call their cot their cage - I think we're paerhaps a strange family as this was a term of affection.

Incidentally, I co-slept with them until they were self-propelling (c.8months) and I couldn't face the prospect of their dropping off the bed. They stayed on their cage pretty much as long as they wanted; DS was well over 4 years when he moved out.

[thisisyesterday]

i felt awful the first night with ds1 when i put him in his crib. i had this overwhelming urge to have him with me

sadly, dp didn't. and i fought my instincts and kept him in the crib :(

with ds2 we ended up co-sleeping through necessity, and with ds3 we';ve done a mix. he is happy to sleep in bed or cot.

i do look at it sometimes and think yes, it's just liek a cage. well, it IS a cage, but that's not a problem is it? it's got to be a safe place for them to sleep after all..

but no, you aren't the only one! ds3 is still in with us at 15 months and no intention of moving him out. i do like snuggling up at night when he feeds

[AnyFucker]

[SleepingLion]

I am resolutely practical and unsentimental so the cot was less a cage to me than it was a place where DS could sleep safely and securely. Similarly, DH, DS and I all slept better once he was in his nursery, in his cage - and that transition came very early on.

And yet somehow he has made it to the age of seven a happy, secure little boy who sleeps ten hours a night with absolutely no problem and no screaming flashbacks to the time his parents kept him in a cage...

I think it is possible to overthink some aspects of parenting

[cyb]

Perhaps a car seat is like a straight jacket?

[cyb]

Yes a child in a highchair is no better than a fois gras goose

arf

[SuiGeneris]

How right you are, SleepingLion- it is possible to overthink, and once it is done, the thought stays there!

Thisisyesterday: so glad to hear I am not the only one. And will keep your post as evidence when DH asks whether we are keeping DS in our room for so long that he will only move out to go to university.

DS does sleep in his cot and has done since the beginning. When he was smaller we used to take him in the big bed with us after the morning feed (which at the time was around 5.30/6), now sadly he wakes later and wants to play rather than have an extended cuddle with sleepy parents...

[FunnysInTheGarden]

I like to keep my children in a cage. I know where they are at all times. When DS2 is big enough to go into his baby prison, he will be in there like a shot. Nowt wrong with keeping them safe IMHO

[ladymariner]

with you all the way sleeping lion!

[SuiGeneris]

Funnily enough when we were giving medicine to DS the other night, using a syringe, DH did say it was not much different to feeding a fois gras goose... Except DS was happily glugging his strawberry-flavoured medicine. [winkn]

[ivykaty44]

a cot isn't always a safe enviroment for a baby who oves around a lot - they can break legs and arms

[DuelingFanjo]

I won't feel bad, there's far too much to feel guilty about.

[cyb]

lol

[FunnysInTheGarden]

cyb you are so right. Spoon feeding a childer in a high chair is akin to producing fois gras IMO. Mmmmm, I love a good fat baby liver...............

[PavlovtheCat]

stair gates, they are like open prisons aren't they? gives that little bit more freedom, but still confined to small spaces. DS loves to shake on the bars of the stair gates, or his cage, rattling and complaining like a demented prisoner who wants to get out

[FunnysInTheGarden]

these babies want the moon on a stick........I want to get out, I want milk, I have turned over by mistake for the 100th time today. Tis no wonder we keep them detained. Tis for their own good.

[SuiGeneris]

LOL

[snugglejunkie]

Slings, swaddling, cages, reins - these babies are oppressed goddamnit!

Come the revolution you will all pay..

[Lovethesea]

Just as soon as DD organises her teddies into an escape committee I'll rethink the holding cell cotbed.

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

No wonder they have the terrible twos. It's punishment for all the damned oppresiveness!