Why are my babies so so miserable?

[Frog253]

This is DC3 and seems to be the worse one yet(although I seem to remember DC2 was pretty awful too). Here's a typical day (today)

5.40am He wakes has a bf, goes back to bed screaming for about 30 secs before settling.

7.00am gets up bf and breakfast

7.30-8.00am Clings to me and cries while I try to get DCs 1 and 2 ready for school.

8.00am - 8.45am Walk to school and back, may cry a bit if he thinks he is going to the CM.

9.00am - 11.30 am cries and whines while driving and shopping.

11.30 am - 2.00pm Lunch and nap THANK GOODNESS for the P and Q

2.00pm - 3.15pm bf then clingy behaviour (ie I can't leave the room for a second w/o him getting really upset) until school run.

3.30pm - 4.00pm OK, he potters on his own without needing me.

4.00pm - 6.45pm Crying and clinging during tea and after.

He is 15 months old and has a reputation locally as being miserable about which I am . I had to give up work once cos first CM found him too difficult to care for. New CM seems to manage him quite well. He has NEVER been happy and I don't know why it just upsets me because it is constant, he is making me a shouty mum and I have no time or patience for the other 2. DCs 1 and 2 were just as bad I suppose and they eventually grew out of it but what have I done wrong? I have really tried my hardest with them but I seem to be way off the mark in my parenting skills. Anyone been through this more than once? How do/ did you cope? Just feeling really

[daisy243]

Ahh Frog, I feel your pain! No advice really. I am sure it's not down to your parenting skills. My second dd was pretty difficult. Cried lots and wouldn't have anyone but me, which was really hard work. She is 3 now and a real sweetheart. I put it down to teeth!!! I think she was in pain a lot. When all her teeth were through and she could speak a bit....different child.
I did used to say tho' "it's a good job she wasn't the first as she may have been the only" love her!
Chin up
x

[Frog253]

Thanks Daisy. I seem to remember being told that babies are all different. Mine ARE ALL THE SAME (apart from looks); they are miserable babies and cheer up when they can walk (16 months for DC1 and 2) expecting DC3 to start in the next few weeks (fingers crossed). No early walkers here unfortunately.

I am afraid the constant misery gets me down esp when I an tired anyway. Went to Mums and Tots today which he enjoyed and he is napping now so I do get some break from the whining. It seems to be at its worse when I am trying to do something else eg cook tea or tidy up or talk to the others.

[MagnumIcecreamAddict]

Have you tried a sling? Might be no use at all of course, but my clingy baby (much younger though) really loves it an I can get on with the cooking/ house jobs.

You have my sympathy and hope it gets better for you soon.

[Rhubarbgarden]

The replies to this thread have given me hope - my baby is pretty miserable and seems to cry more and smile less than any other babies I know. I have comforted myself with the knowledge that my mother said I was awful as a baby/toddler and yet I turned into a very contented child later. I can clearly remember throwing tantrums in asda. She always said I would 'get it back' when I had my own and I'm convinced sometimes I can hear laughing coming from the other side (sadly she died before she got to meet her granddaughter).

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

Some babies are just built that way, it is not a reflection on your parenting so don't feel guilty. I second trying a sling, Ergo's are fab because you can use them from birth until aged 4yrs, can put toddler on your back and they are extrememly comfortable. It was a life-saver for me when DS went through a clingy phase and I still use it for clingy mindees now. Don't beat yourself up about it and remind yourself it is only a phase, this too shall pass..

[Frog253]

Will look at the Egro, am not a strong person but as I carry him a lot anyway perhaps it's a good idea. I know it will pass eventually but it seems such a long long time to put up with such behaviour (for me and the other DC who desperately want to mother and play with him).

BTW Rhubarb I was a happy baby, apparently. Perhaps my children will 'get it back' in the future - ha ha can't wait 'til I'm Granny and can walk away at the end of the day!!!

[sethstarkaddersmum]

oh poor you.
My friend has a baby like that. She calls him lots of rude nicknames which seems to help.

She is a lovely mum and very cheerful herself so goodness knows where it comes from. I don't believe for a moment that she is somehow causing it by her parenting, so I don't expect you are either.

[Mumcah]

It is definitely not your fault.A friend of mine had a really easy chilled out first baby.Her second is the total opposite,really demanding and whining and has just now started to get better(she's just 2).
I think alot of it is that they can't express themselves physically or emotionally.

I'm sure your toddler will become happier in time.