Mum desperately wants to buy DD (3) a laptop for Christmas, how do I justify saying no without upseting her?

[Bumperlicious]

She just mentioned today that she has seen a children's laptop and wants to buy one for 3 year old DD for Christmas. She knows I will probably say no. She got pretty upset last year when I vetoed her buying then 2 yo DD a children's portable DVD player (she bought her a life-sized doll instead - purely to punish me as I always joked about her buying one).

I promised DH and I would think about it before saying no. I tried telling her I think she is too young, what would she do on it anyway. I don't want her always in front of a screen. My mum says that technology is just going to be part of her life and I should just go with it, but I said I'd rather she did creative play, etc.

I don't know why my mum is so intent on buying her such grown up things ('but they're designed especially for young children').

I'm not wrong to say no am I? Is there a middle ground?

I'm not lentil weavery, I've let my mum buy all manner of crap for DD that I wouldn't necessarily chose for her, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I just think a laptop is really inappropriate for a 3 year old. She's got years of screen time ahead of her (she already watches too much TV), I'd like to put it off for as long as possible.

[Dinghy]

Um, surely she means a toy laptop?

[BertieBotts]

Could she compromise by buying some children's software for you to put on the computer for her? She could do it with DD when she came round then. Or on her computer if she has one.

Technology is going to be important in her life, but I agree a laptop of her own at 3 is completely inappropriate. Half an hour or so playing a child's computer game once a week or less often isn't going to harm though surely?

[ConnorTraceptive]

If it's just a kiddie one then I wouldn't worry too much. DS1 had one at that age and barely looks at it. Atleast it's small and something you can easily store aware and just bring out for occasional use

[ConnorTraceptive]

store away.

[oldenoughtowearpurple]

a laptop specially designed for a 3 year old? she does mean a real one and not something daft and plastic from ELC? Is she mad????

Oh dear. I don't know. Can you think of something else she would like to buy that is slightly less inappropriate? or inappropriate in a different way? some agent provocateur underwear for her life-sized doll perhaps?

[gonnaloseit]

Does she not mean a V-Tech laptop they're great my DS had one very educational.

[TheOldestCat]

DD (3) has a Dora the Explorer one, which is fine. It's got some counting games on it and she shouts out Spanish words along with Dora. So it's pretty educational

[Bumperlicious]

I don't know what she means. Maybe I should get her to send me a link. TBH I wouldn't mind if it's one of the Dora type ones, after all I had a Speak and Spell

Maybe I am overreacting, thing is, you never know with my mother...

[KatyS36]

DD (10 months) has a baby laptop :)

Its a toy and to me is no different to the other toys she has where she pushes buttons and lights and music start

She loves it.

All depends on the type of laptop I think

Katy

PS I've been know to have lentil tendencies

[elphabaisgreen]

Ds had a Thomas the Tank one. It had letters and numbers games on.

Him and dd (against my better judgment) now have grandparent provided netbooks!!!!!!!

[ButterpieBride]

My DD1 has a hideous american toy laptop thing with capital letters on the keys and noises that I think my mum spent a fortune on, even though I told her DD would prefer something like, y'know, a ball or a doll. I even keep trying to forget to take it home when we visit but she makes us take it. Sigh.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

A lap top for a three year old sounds like an expensive gimmiky thing that retailers are convincing parents and grandparents they need. What exactly does it DO? It could turn out to be a real white elephant.

I would want to know much more about it...

(I loathe lentils and have never weaved anything in my life)

[Nuttybear]

I upset my Mum every week. I did it as a teenager and I'm still doing it! Ask her to send you the link. Then send her back a link to the evidence to support your view point e.g Tanya Byron in The Times says.....
On the other hand Mum brought DS Matchbox cars when he was far to young in my mind for them, 9 months I think! He now has about 100 and plays with them almost everyday!
On the other hand when your kid is a bit older and fully I.T aware can you send him over here to Little Miss Clueless!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Tell her she really really wants an iPad - then nick it.

[Nuttybear]

Brill idea who

[bethjeff]

I had a geosafari ...very educational and absorbing. Improved cognitive abilities as well as reading, maths etc.

I loved it. Rainy days I'd quite happily play with it for ages. Or play with friends at who could answer the quickest.

No screen though- just cards into a machine.

www.discoverthis.com/geosafari-laptop-3.html

It's changed a bit now but is essentially the same thing. Fabulous buy though...

[bethjeff]

It was created by national geographic as well... not bad credentials to sweeten the deal with grandparents!

[Bumperlicious]

It's an actual laptop //hmm

Shiney, I think it is fair enough to tell my mum what she can't buy my daughter when I have to have it in my house and DD is going to be playing with it. Seriously, I've had to stop her getting all number of things, like a water table (we were living in a first floor flat with no garden) and as I said, the DVD player, when she was 2.

I need to say no diplomatically. Anyone got any links to say that screen time is bad for 3 year olds?

[CaptainKirksNipples]

Dammit I was going to say tell her to get an iPad as well!

My MIL is like this too, she always tries desperately to compete with 'Santa' at Christmas time, she will ask me for a list of ideas and then buy the whole list. Until I thought 'fuck it she wants expensive I'll give her expensive!' and started putting on things like a 28 inch plasma tv and dvd combi / xbox /playstation 3 and she said I was to tone it down a bit!

They really don't understand that the kids might actually love the £5 bubble set first suggested over anything else!

[StealthPolarBear]

aargh just lost my post
was going to just suggest telling her it is a bit old for him and will be broken in days. The vtech one is aimed at 2+ I think, droppable, DS has it and loves it. Oh and it's a tenth of the price!

[nickelbabe]

yes, that is ridiculous for a 3yo.

can you show her some of the suggestions from others on here (i love the Dora one!) as a compromise?

[Doodleydoo]

If it was the v-tech one I would have said you might have been over reacting but not that monstrosity - it probably has more than my computer on it!

why not send her a link to the v-tech website - you could ask her to get maybe the lesser computer AND something else - vtech have brought out a video camera and the other vtech camera which we bought for dd and which she totally loves and is breakproof. If she wants to spend that much money I would give lots of diff suggestions.

[conkie]

I think 3 is a bit too young for that laptop, however, my son has a v-tech one and he has come on leaps and bounds as it is very educational. Maybe suggest one like that?

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

I think rather than saying a flat "No" suggest something similar but more sane to her, like the Dora "laptop" or another Vtech product. You could even big it up a bit around how some of your DD's friends have those but you've always said no, so it would be a good opportunity for Granny to spoil her.

Those are more like the Speak and Spell you had as a child and are likely to be pretty self-limiting in terms of time spent playing them (and you can take "computer game" time out of "TV" time rather than increasing overall screen tie).