What's it like having a second DC after a large gap?

[Ulysses]

I'm pg with my second DC and DD will be 5.5 when he/she is born. Didn't really expect this but can anyone tell me what it's like having such a large gap. I am struggling to remember what it was like with my first and think that I'll be going back to square one. Everyone I know have 3 years at the most and I was expecting DD to be an only (am thrilled that she won't be mind!)

What's the up side and what are the downs?

[Marrow]

I don't know as I am pregnant and DD will be 5.4 when baby arrives. Will watch this thread with interest!

[TheArmadillo]

dd is 3 weeks old and ds is 5.10.

So far it has been quite easy as ds is old enough to understand that baby needs attention and sometimes he has to wait 5 minutes (he hates her crying so doesn't like us leaving her which helps). He's also good at fetching and carrying stuff.

He goes back to school on wednesday so be interesting to see how it all pans out then.

dd has been a much easier baby than ds was so far though.

[SwansEatQuince]

There is a 14 year gap between my first and second and initially I panicked about 'remembering' what you were supposed to do and also how my son would feel after being an only child for so long.

The pros were that dd was adored and always had attention (especially when ds took her for walks to show her off to some of his pretty classmates...). Ds had someone to teach his skills to and was hero worshipped by dd.

Cons were sleepless nights, toddler raiding ds's room, missing her brother when he finally left home. There was a bit of a toddler/ teenager tantrum episode for a while but each grew out of it.

[Flossie69]

I have DS who is 11, and now DD who is 3 months. I did worry about the age gap, but DS adores his little baby sister. The downside is that they have such different needs, and DS has been left to amuse himself alot during the hols, as I spend much of my time feeding DD. But once he is back at school I will be able to concentrate on her needs during the day, and once she is bed of an evening, hopefully spend some more quality time with DS.

[whatsleep]

hi, our dd1 was 5.5 years when dd2 was born. I am so glad we left such a big age gap! pros...dd1 is independant, dressing, feeding herself, entertaining herself safely, she is at school so i get quality time with dd2 during school time without feeling i am ignoring dd1! also in the evening when baby is in bed i get quality time with dd1. dd1 is like a 2nd mummy...she loves to help and entertains the baby when I need to go to the loo etc!! I just cant tell you enough about how lovley it is having the age gap.....cons...not come across any yet but dd2 is only 4 months old!! sure it will all be fine...enjoy the rest of your pregnancy because the sleepless nights are a bit if a shocker after 5 years!!

[CarGirl]

I think the only downs are in a few years time when their needs become very different. Baby doesn't want to be sat in a pushchair and the older one a bit fed up of having to accommodate the youngers one needs.

Mine are now 13.5 and 8 and are good friends but I also had another 2 after the 8 year old so my eldest did have a fair bit of accommodation to do IYSWIM!