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How to pick your battles...

(6 Posts)
Sammiez Mon 19-Jul-10 15:03:21

with under 6year old kids. I desperately need help here. I am constantly telling my kids off and hitting them uneccessarily. I am a monster! A very hard to please b***h. I have no excuses. I just need to stop being horrible!!!

Nemofish Mon 19-Jul-10 18:05:52

picking your battles = telling off for hitting, screaming, name calling, bad behaviour.

Silliness that doesn't hurt anyone - ignore.

Unfortunately they may well be copying your behaviour, leading to more screaming shouting and hitting all round. Lead by example - remember they learn how to behave from watching you.

BitOfFun Mon 19-Jul-10 18:16:33

If you are actually hitting your kids, perhaps you need some RL help? Do you still see a Health Visitor?

nagoo Mon 19-Jul-10 18:41:27

I try very hard to let my DS be a child, only telling him off for being willfully naughty, rather than silly (eg hitting, running away other dangerous stuff)

I tried a new regime of praise praise praise and it's really paid off, I get a lot more good behaviour. I make sure DS knows what is expected of him. When he's starting to play up I start a conversation about how well he behaved on X occasion.

If I've got more than one DC and one is being naughty while the other one behaves, I praise the 'good' one and tell then that they'll get the 'treat' (eg biscuit after lunch) that the other one might not get if they continue.

I warn him the first time, then if he continues, I tell him again what the consequence will be and count to five. The counting should help you keep perspective and your temper.

Sammiez Mon 19-Jul-10 22:02:46

Thank you! Please what is RL help? I feel a constant pressure that hasn't eased off. So tense all the time. I use praise a lot but then lose it after trying so hard not to yell. I think I will have to speak to health visitor. I am on waiting list for some counselling as was depressed. I am incontrollable

BitOfFun Tue 20-Jul-10 00:45:01

Sorry, I meant real life. Yes, do speak to someone, it sounds like you are really struggling.

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