I can't take any more

[Fedup2]

The title says it all really, she is 6 and a nightmare, i am constantly stressed with her, she starts as soon as she opens her eyes.

when i ask to do something she shouts at me, pulls her tongue out, screams at me, smacks herself in the face, stamps her feet etc and when I tell her off she sits and laughs at me and tells me I am nasty and too nasty for this house

DH is wondering why i'm pissed off with him, he is supposed ot be on his days off and he is working another 4 days, other people wonder why I am so stressed and eat so much when I put up with her all day, i sometimes have to really really hold back from smacking her and if I send her to her room she trashes it. I get NO rest from her. Yesterday we went to the supermarket and because we wouldn't buy her a dvd she walked round the supermarket crying with a face on and kept kicking her daddy, which I can't abide.

It's getting to the point where I can't stand to kiss and cuddle her and can't stand to be in the same room as her.

What do I do, before I pack my bags and go.

[Carla]

FU2, this sounds amazingly familiar. Is she your first/only?

[Carmenere]

Fedup2, you need a break, is there anyone (family or friend) who could look after the little darling for a couple of days?

[Fedup2]

She is the eldest, I have another aged 3.

At the minute I am going through a stressful time anyway, what with work, health problems and my weight. I am waiting for an appt at the hospital to get my probs sorted and have started with the weight, but she does honestly drive me to drink.

[MarsLady]

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think that you need to set down some strong boundaries. The key is consistency.

Decide what the consequence of her bad actions will be. Tell her. Then do it! So don't threaten or promise what you can't or won't carry out.

Decide what the consequence of her good actions will be. Tell her. Then do it! Don't over promise or even make it extravagant.

It is tough and it will be a week of hell, but as long as you and your DH agree and are consistent you should see results.

hth

[trace2]

i find the more stresed i am the my ds plays up,

[Fedup2]

Dh doesn't help, he just says that she is not being naughty, she just has our personalities and is very wilful.

At the minute she is screaming and shouting and crying because I am refusing to take her to feed the ducks this week, but, I know as soon as dh comes home he will say its not fair I can't take one without the other etc, and, I have told her no video, she WILL NOT get one off me, but, when dh goes for a bath, because HE wants some peace and quiet after working 12 hours, he will put her a video on to keep her quiet.

I really don't know what to do, but know what I would like to do, pack my bloody bags adn dissappear

[Fedup2]

P.S. Don't mind at all ML.

[Whizzz]

It sounds as though you & your DH need to agree on a united front & draw up some rules together. Marsladys point are spot on - but you & DH both need to be consistant too.

Otherwise it sounds as though she will just play one of you off against the other.

[MarsLady]

I think that you and DH need a babysitter! Go somewhere public but neutral, like a restaurant, and talk about the whole situation.

Tell him how you feel. Tell him what you would like to happen. Tell him that you would really like his support and that you want to be more of a team. This whole parenting malarkey is hard enough as a couple. Tell him you don't want to fly solo with this.

Lots of tell hims there. Sorry, naturally bossy.

[brightstar1]

tend to agree with marslady. you must set her boundaries and stick to them. which can be the hardest thing you might ever have to do.Try to ignore her when she is horrible to you.Tell her you love her but wont be in the same room as her when she is doing that and walk away.having same problem with Ds#4 and this seems to be working also stops me getting too angry with him!

[Carla]

MarsLady's reply was FAB. You've covered it yourself .. but DON'T go there. I posted just tonight about it all being too much, and I had had too much to drink, too.

And have a peek about me nearly running off with the taxi driver.

You WILL, WILL, WILL get there, just hang on in. We're all out there for you. XXX

[Fedup2]

Can't find the thread about last night carla, but hope you and dh have made up.

[lewislewis]

Try and watch Little Angels on bbc3 in which a child psychologist gives advice to parents of unruly kids.