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my last gift

(9 Posts)
nicbell Tue 09-Aug-05 14:25:50

hi everyone,my name is nic and im looking for some help and didnt now who else to ask,my mother-in-law was diagnosed with bowel cancer 11 months ago and now she seems to be nearing the end of her journey,my partner is an only child and we are both trying our best to make her comfortable and safe.my dilema is that her 53rd birthday is on thursday and im struggling to think of a gift that emphasises just how much we love and will miss her,she is obviously house bound and with very little energy.i would love if anyone has any ideas if they could help me make this a memorable birthday for my mil and her son.

Nbg Tue 09-Aug-05 14:29:16

Oh Nicbel, so sorry. It's such a hard time.


Did you have any ideas?

nailpolish Tue 09-Aug-05 14:32:10

nicbell, im so sorry to hear this. my MIL died just a few mths ago, from cancer too. its such a hard time, these last few mths or so

i cant really think of anything apart from the usual video diaries or photo albums (long ago photos of when she was a child/teenager/twentysomething/mummy etc, and recent ones of you and your partner)

she could sit on her own in peace and quiet and look at them, or with you and your dp and have a few laughs and tears

sweetheart Tue 09-Aug-05 14:32:27

could you perhaps throw her a party instead of giving her a gift. I'm sure she'd like the oppertunity to see all her family and friends together. That way you can all express to her personally how much you love her nad will miss her.

So sorry for your situation, it must be terrible.

nailpolish Tue 09-Aug-05 14:33:24

or how about a run in the car round her old haunts? we took my MIL back to glasgow where she grew up, and drove round her old haunts such as the dancing halls where she met her dh, and factories she used to work in

mancmum Tue 09-Aug-05 14:33:35

this is so sad -- would she like a facial or some sort of pampering treat followed by a very special lunch with lots of flowers and her favourite foods ... lots of photos of family life and cards with long and thoughtful messages... a locket with pictures of your family that she could perhaps be buried with?

CAn not really think much beyond that as it will be such a sad day...

cadbury Tue 09-Aug-05 14:37:23

We had a similar quandry with my mil as just before she died (from bowel cancer) it was her 71st (I think) birthday. There wasn't really anything practical she needed and she was bed bound and not able to eat by that stage. The one thing she was missing was her garden so we gathered as many flowers from her garden, and bought loads more too and filled her room with it. I think my sil got her some pretty lavender smellies, which she always liked and we were able to use on her. My mil seemed to really enjoy just being with the family and we all remember it as a special day. I don't know if any of those ideas are any use to you. I just wanted to share with you that I understand how difficult this isd and I'm thinking of you all.

sunchowder Tue 09-Aug-05 15:19:53

Ah NicBell, I don't know you but I feel for you in this situation. Everyone has given you wonderful responses here. I am sure she would enjoy a scrapbook of photos and memories and a lovely party and with lots and lots of flowers and wonderful smelling things. It is so hard to let your loved ones go.

nicbell Tue 09-Aug-05 17:29:47

thanks a millions guys you have all been really nice and helpful,the scrapbook is a brill idea, thank you so much for your words of comfort.this site has been a god send to me on many occasions now and its nice to know that with all the sad ness that goes on in the world we can still pull together and make a difference to eachothers lifes.thanks again from the bottom of our hearts.

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