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Your worst (and funniest) vomit incident

(71 Posts)
happymerryberries Fri 29-Jul-05 09:40:56

Prompted to do this by the amazingly funny sweetcorn river thread.

When ds was 18 months he could vomit for Britain. At the time out car's boot had lost its counterballence so that it wouldn't stay up on its own but had to be held up. Both these facts are central to my little tale.

We were on the way south on the A1 and turned off just after Stamford. Ds started to make sicky noises so I yelled for dh to stop, but too late! Ds was covered, his car seat was covered, the back of my car seat was covered. It was pissing with rain and blowing a small gale.

We lept into action, a well drilled team. DH started to strip down ds while I went to the boot to get a complete change of clothes, towels, wet wipes. The wind was lashing the rain, and I had to do all of this while holding a very heavy boot with one hand, all the time dh shouting, 'Where is the towel?' and me yelling 'I don't know' in ever more frenzied tones. At this point dd decided that she wasn't getting enough attention and started to cry that the smell was making her sick too.

I rifled through my bag, located the things I needed, spilling most of the contents while I did it, and thankfuly let the boot drop. I turned bach to the job of helping dh clear up, which took some time. Whe ds was clean and sitting in his stripped down car seat in a towel I turned back to the boot to put the dirty items in a plastic bag.

Only to find that the back of the boot was covered in foam! It looked like the boot had rabies. And more and more of the stuff was billowing out! When I droped the boot it fell on by Virgin Vie Peppermint foot fizz and chopped it in half! Boot was now full of foam. car then stank of vomit and peppermint. Yummy!

And the question is this, why did no-one warn me that my life would get like this once I had kids?

morningpaper Fri 29-Jul-05 09:47:40

While walking home, DD once threw up a bowl of spaghetti bolognaise and as she did, I automatically held her close to me.

When we got home, I removed all our clothes, including my bra which was basically two bags full of vomit.

I did wonder whether that sort of thing every happened to Madonna ...

ggglimpopo Fri 29-Jul-05 09:47:58

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happymerryberries Fri 29-Jul-05 09:49:26

LMAO at the second b'fast.....class act!

Pruni Fri 29-Jul-05 09:53:53

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vwvic Fri 29-Jul-05 09:55:48

About 6 months ago DD1 had a dodgy tummy, that only became apparent after she had eaten huge quantities of spag bol and garlic bread. In fact, it only became apparent when she projectile vomited over the side of her bunk bed (she sleeps on the top), bounced off the floor, and covered DD2 who was sleeping underneath. DD1 was completely clean! And promptly went back to sleep!

Disturbingly, DD2 sat up, and said "oh, I do like pasta" {gagging emoticon}...

ggglimpopo Fri 29-Jul-05 10:04:08

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ggglimpopo Fri 29-Jul-05 10:04:32

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geekgrrl Fri 29-Jul-05 10:10:45

when we were in the restaurant on the ferry from Hull to Rotterdam dd1 complained about her throat feeling 'funny' - she'd been sick three times in the car on the way so I just grabbed her and ran out of the restaurant with her like a madwoman - she puked all over me in the foyer, I was totally covered and had to hide in a nearby bathroom with her, peeking out and hoping dh would turn up so I could send him to get some clean clothes. Urgh. Not sure it was all that amusing!

PeachyClair Fri 29-Jul-05 10:37:46

I am prone to severe morning sickness, having had Hyperemesis in my first two pregnacies. I was on a float at bridgwater Carnival, we were doing well, we had come second that night and that's good when you typically spend £40K on a float- kida competitive (, go on take a look at the pics, they're fab). Anyway as far as I knew I wasnt PG, but TTC. I had two drinks (can't remember what), then started throwing up in the middle of the party- please remember I am dressed as a jester in full face whitening, throwing into my hat! Bells ringing as I go!

PMSL at the memory!

Did a PG test next day and of course I was, but that hat is now still circulating (washed of course) in the carnival world

Marina Fri 29-Jul-05 10:41:12

LOL at these vile stories .
I have been heckled on here in the past for being mad enough to feed a young ds a nutritious supper of spinach and sardines, but I got mine when he was snuggled up in bed later that night and vommed the whole lot, just digested enough to be really reeky and sticky, onto dh and my heads. It was in our ears, eyes, up our noses, you name it.
Dh still won't eat sardines and neither will ds.

bobbybob Fri 29-Jul-05 10:51:06

Ds was sick in my mouth when he was a few weeks old. Never hold a baby over your face while saying "oh, you are so beau.....argh!"

Dh was sick on me in the middle of the night, took away my sheets and washed them, and then passed out in his own bed. (Staying with Aunty in single beds)

ellceeell Fri 29-Jul-05 10:54:04

Driving along the motorway, dd1 (then aged 4) announced she felt sick. No container for her to use! Brainwave - plastic box used for sandwiches. Asked ds (then aged 7) to empty it and give it to her - me still driving. "Hmm, I feel hungry, I'll eat these" says ds and proceeds happily to do so, while dd1 practically fills the plastic box with vomit. Urgh

Iklboo Fri 29-Jul-05 10:56:55

When I was 14 I went to a party at a friends house and drank way too much vodka & coke (probably about 3 glasses was WAY too much at the time). Came home and was put to bed by my dad.
I woke up in the middle of the night, sat up and puked on my duvet.
Befuddled (still drunk) I decided the best way to hide this from my folks was to ^turn the duvet over and get back in bed^!
Woke up hungover the next morning with bed and me full of sticky, drying puke - duvet, sheets etc all ruined and NO chance of hiding it from my parents

alicatsg Fri 29-Jul-05 10:59:18

about 16 weeks pregnant and someone at the far end of the bus sneezed - a really wet sounding sneeze. In one smooth action I pulled the emergency stop cord and threw up on the suited businessman stood in front of me. I have never seen such horror on a grown man's face before or since.

puppy Fri 29-Jul-05 11:00:33

ewwwww @ your ds being sick in your mouth bobby bob, when my ds was young and just had a feed my hubby picked him up over his face and ofcourse ds was sick on him also.

Funniest i can think of was when i was 19 i had just come home after my driving test and walked into the living room to tell my mum that i had passed unfortunate for her she came across to me and was stood in front of me while we was talking, all of a sudden without warning i projectiled vomited all over my mum who was stood in her dressing gown, she was blathered in it, also was the wall behind her, it went every where.

mememum Fri 29-Jul-05 11:06:50

About 2 weeks ago I was weeding the garden. We were expecting a delivery of oil for heating and I could hear the truck reversing down the lane. I had just found a really tough weed so decided to dig it out with a spade. Dug the spade in and a toad hopped on my foot. I should point I'm petrified of frogs etc and I screamed and threw up all over my shoes just as oil man walked through garden gate. He just stood there, hose in hand and said 'oh I don't normally have that effect on women - 500 litres of oil was it?'
Not one of my finer moments.

Catbert Fri 29-Jul-05 11:07:59

All dressed up and 18, went to the pub for a few bevvies before a party, and my mate just looked at me and said "I feel really sick" and projectiled all her vodkas and orange all over me.

I cleaned myself up best I could (furious with her) went back into the pub but noone would sit near me. One chap said "It's nothing personal. You just smell really bad now."

Think we went home. Not much chances of pulling smelling of vomit.

ggglimpopo Fri 29-Jul-05 11:12:55

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MrsDoolittle Fri 29-Jul-05 11:16:49

When I was an unruly student, one Friday night my friend and I drank almost an entire demi-john of raspberry vodka which we had been brewiing for a few weeks. This was a precursor to going out.
We got started early and agreed with our friends who were working we would see them later in the bar. So we trotted off to the bar very merry, as you would imagine and ordered our current favourite 'diamond white'.
I didn't manage very long in the bar. The rest is a hazy memory, but I do know I was very sick. Apparently, I had left the bar and disappeared into a nearby spinney of trees.
My friends, having finished work, were on their way down to the bar but they got frightened on the way by rustling in the trees and a deep 'heaving' sound. They feared there was a stalker in the trees. Security was called to investigate. Two burly blokes disappeared into the trees and came out with me between them covered in bright red vomit!!!

How embarassing I can't stand dry cider now

starlover Fri 29-Jul-05 11:20:53

i went out one evening with some friends in crawley dressed in my usual attire which included a dog collar and lead (with dp holding onto it!)
anyway we sat in TGI's and stoked up on cocktails before moving onto brannigans which i HATE. I lasted about 5 minutes in there before declaring i needed to go

went outside and sat on the floor leaning against the wall and puked my guts up.
as i am sat there with spit hanging out my mouth (still wearing said collar and lead!) i hear
"hi claire!" and look up to see a police woman who was an old college friend taht i hadn't seen for about 4 years!!!

to make things worse i then decided i was better and went round the front of the club to see a bbc film crew there. i asked them if they wanted to film me and the bloke just laughed and said "i think we;'ve seen enough thanks"

alexsmum Fri 29-Jul-05 11:26:47

we were in london and had just been for a meal with the kids and some friends. ds1 had fallen asleep in the restaraunt and dh was carrying him sleeping onto the tube. Dh sat down with ds asleep on his shoulder and the doors closed .Ds then lifted his head off dh's shoulder and just puked EVERYWHERE!!!! All over the window, the seat, himself and of course dh! I have never seen people move so fast as the other people in the carriage! We were only in london for a couple of days and so only had one coat each etc.we had to go back to the hotel and get soap powder from reception and soak the clothes and coats etc in the bath! we had to go and buy ds a new coat the next day and dh had to freeze.
he smelt of vomit too because we hadn't been able to wash his jeans! yuk!
we went home early for obvious reasons!

edodgy Fri 29-Jul-05 11:28:32

when my daughter was a month or so old my dp was lifting her up facing him and bouncing her about pulling faces at her he lifted her above his head and she posseted from above and it landed in dp's open mouth i was pmsl for ages after!

SaintGeorge Fri 29-Jul-05 11:45:08

How's this for true love then?

Had a party at my parents home (in their absence) and a few guys thought it funny to spike my friends drink. She eventually passed out on the living room floor. My older brother, who had just arrived to check up on us, came over all concerned and tried to wake her at which point she woke up and vomited all over him - twice. He calmly cleaned them both up and levered her into a taxi to get her home.

It's their 17th wedding anniversary tomorrow

PeachyClair Fri 29-Jul-05 15:25:54

Mrs Doolittle- LOL diamond white- have some memories of that stuff too! EG my college boyfriend getting me wrecked on the stuff, then leaving me with the techie nerd thinking he could go pull my twin friends undetected...

Guess who went home alone...

Guess who went out with hte nerd for the next year or so!! (and a lovely chap he was too)

Just remembered DH on his stag night, sitting down next to someone on the sofa in the club, being vomited over and then thrown out coz 'his missus' (ie someone he#d never seen before) was 'past it, mate'.... thenhe came home, the next day we had vomit all over the front drive... we yelled at his brother as it was a shared, rented drive... turned out it was in fact DH's respectable buisineesman 40 year old friend!

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