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Upset another mum over party, is she over reacting???

(11 Posts)
astonished Wed 27-Jul-05 17:49:37

My girls and a friend of mines little girl were invited to a b'day party last weekend. My friend is quite friendly with the mum whose daughters party it was. We were going camping that weekend to Bug Jam which is just up the road from where we live, so my friend and i told the other mum that unfortunately we would be unable to make it. Well this other mum threw a strop which led my friend to feel guilty so she decided to bring the children out of our camping holiday for a couple of hours to go to the party (about an hour away). When she arrived with the kids it became clear she had missed the party and got the times wrong, so she rang the mum and apologised and offered to bring the pressies round, which the mum wouldn't allow as she was clearly quite cross. I've just been to another party, given her daughter her present and apologised and the mum went into one at me about how disappointed she was, not her daughter, which i could understand but her. I told her it was a genuine mistake but she wasn't having any of it, I wouldn't mind if we hadn't gone out of our way not to offend by bringing them back in the first place. I hate rowing with anyone but I am genuinely shocked at her reaction and feel about twelve!!

fqueenzebra Wed 27-Jul-05 17:51:31

sounds really weird. did you give her very short notice about not attending (when you initially said that you wouldn't be going?).

astonished Wed 27-Jul-05 17:57:15

No told her as soon as we got the invites, but she reacted so badly my friend felt really guilty. She only invited my girls because of the friend connection, as our daughters are in different classes. I don't really know what more I can do, I've apologised. Some kids didn't turn up for my dd's party and i just assumed there was a genuine reason and didn't ppress it any further, would definatelt not make them feel bad, sometimes things happen

Chandra Wed 27-Jul-05 18:03:20

I think you should ignore her, you already apologised, and it's plain rude to continue being ofended after that. TBH I would avoid her like the plague, she seems the kind of person that no matter what you do she won't be happy.

Talking about party invites just digged one from DS's backpack. It was handed up at the nursery a week ago , how do I say yes or no without being rude or inconsiderate.

astonished Wed 27-Jul-05 18:12:38

Chandra, i don't understand, are you embaressed because you only just found it? Can you make it?? Just be honest and say you've only just found it and would love/won't be able to come. I've always prided myself in being up front and honest, then at least if someone, like this woman has ago, its not your integrity in question. Still shocked though and would avoid her if my dd's weren't in her dd class next year!

spidermama Wed 27-Jul-05 18:40:31

Sounds like an over-reaction. We can all get nuerotic about who is and who isn't coming to our kids parties (probably unfinished business from her past friendships.) Inner child issues etc.

Not your fault. You behaved really well. I feel sorry for the woman. I would just let her off if I were you. She was obviously hurt you didn't come on time. She'l be over it I'm sure and probably even embarrassed that she let her guard down.

Some people plan parties with military precision. They have seating plans, named party bags with guest-specific pressies in etc etc...

She's probably just very stressed. Maybe it didn't go well or you were just one of the guests who didn't make it.

astonished Wed 27-Jul-05 19:08:04

Thanks Spidermama, I think you are probably right, I know from experience these things can be stressful, hurrah for the summer holidays at least she gets some time to forgive me!

Tortington Wed 27-Jul-05 21:55:43

you don't need forgiving do you?!!

organised kids birthday parties are rubbish anyway and are rarely about the child as much as it is about the parent outdoing clair from 5b

astonished Wed 27-Jul-05 23:09:07

I'm certainly not going to creep, I've never been faced with someone who was blatantly disgusted with me for such a reason. I think my mate will bare the brunt apparently she won't even look at her let alone talk. oh well live and let live

thosepeskykids Wed 27-Jul-05 23:59:14

if you are all friends, do you think that she may have been a bit put out that you were going on a camping trip and not invited her along?

handlemecarefully Thu 28-Jul-05 00:08:48

Well if you told her straight away that you had a prior engagement, I don't see what she's got to beef about!

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