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How to get through the next year?

(5 Posts)
Xena Tue 26-Jul-05 18:19:27

I had a missed M/c about 2.5 months ago. We have decided not to try again and just stick with the 3 lovely children we have. I thought that I was OK and that I was fine. But we should have been having the 23 week scan around the end of this month and that has made me feel sad again. I know that come November when it was due it will be hard and Christmas when I had pictured the 6 of us. I honestly think that if we had another then that hurt would stop but our 3rd child took over a year to concieve (PCOS) and I just don't think I could go through it again. We have weighed up the pros and cons and the cons outweigh the pros for trying for a 4th. If it were another year trying then DD2 (no3) would be nursery age so we would have to go back to baby stage again, DS whos the oldest would be secondary school age, I could m/c again....
But its hard and I'm sad, I really wanted that baby.

Mirage Tue 26-Jul-05 21:22:53

Xena,I don't really know what to say,but am sending you a hug.I know what its like to lose a much wanted baby,the anniversaries aren't easy.

WestCountryLass Tue 26-Jul-05 21:39:27


Having lost my first at 23 weeks all I can really say is having my two since has not filled the gap of my lost little one. It is really sad and it must be very hard to think you will not have anymore children, end of story Maybe give yourself a bit more time and see how you feel after, say, the due date or Christmas.

Hang on in there!

mancmum Tue 26-Jul-05 21:43:03

you will never forget your baby and your family will never feel complete even if you had another... you lost a baby and that is a sad, hard,painful horrible thing to go thru... but it does get easier -- I lost a baby 2 years ago ... I think about him every day and feel his abscence... but now I can think about him almost without tears but with warmth and love and hope... I don't need another baby but maybe you do..?

Xena Wed 27-Jul-05 07:41:49

Thanks for your replies xxx
Mancmum I think that if I was pg today I would be really happy, DD2 is only 1 and the baby would be here before DD1 started school (DS already there) I just don't feel that I can cope with each month not being pg, if we give up now I can get used to it, but what if we were still trying in a year and nothing happened?

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