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How would you feel....

(25 Posts)
ggglimpopo Mon 25-Jul-05 09:08:18

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gigglinggoblin Mon 25-Jul-05 09:09:24

think i would be worried about the age gap, not necessarily anything else

anothernamechanger Mon 25-Jul-05 09:11:26

Me too with age gap, but then my first serious one... I was 16, him 25

The care thing wouldn't bother me so much, or the different mothers - mainly cos I've met some lovely blokes from that kind of background, and some evil ones from "stable" homes

Kayleigh Mon 25-Jul-05 09:11:56

Have you met him yet ? The circumstances aren't through any fault of his. He may be a really nice guy.

Freckle Mon 25-Jul-05 09:12:21

What's he like? There's nothing he can or could do about anything you've written (judge his mother, not him possibly). What is he doing now? Does he appear responsible and caring?

Windermere Mon 25-Jul-05 09:15:01

I would be worried about the age gap and would want to get know him. As Freckle said there is nothing that he can do about his upbringing but it does mean that he is likely to be vulenrable.

expatinscotland Mon 25-Jul-05 09:17:55

The age gap wouldn't bother me. My first 'boyfriend' was 23 to my 16. If she's a mature 15, 3 years isn't such a big deal. The background wouldn't bother me, either, unless this young man has been in trouble w/the law or has substance abuse issues.

ggglimpopo Mon 25-Jul-05 09:19:22

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Kayleigh Mon 25-Jul-05 09:20:47

But at least being streetwise he will look out for your dd.

ggglimpopo Mon 25-Jul-05 09:23:39

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ggglimpopo Mon 25-Jul-05 09:32:19

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gigglinggoblin Mon 25-Jul-05 09:41:22

i remember that conversation with my parents, thinking 'god, do they know nothing?' and giving them more up to date info hehehe. be prepared, just in case. might be worth finding out where the local family planning clinics are and telling her she can get free condoms there am so glad mine are boys, dp can talk to them instead of me

nutcracker Mon 25-Jul-05 09:43:30

Erm well age gap wouldn't bother me so long as he treated her well.

Don't think his background would either.

Tortington Mon 25-Jul-05 21:47:40

iuf i am honest i would bother me - it shouldn't i know it shouldnt but it would. you need to get her on the pill immediatley. and seriously talk to her about becomming a novice nun

QueenOfQuotes Mon 25-Jul-05 21:51:58

Age gap wouldn't bother me either - though if she was younger if may do (ie 13-16)

emmatmg Mon 25-Jul-05 21:53:50

age gap wouldn't bother me, I suppose I would be abit worried about his back ground but hopefully she'll bring him home to meet you. He could be totally different to what you expect.


Thanks god I have boys.
if any mums of girls out there want to reserve my lovely, well mannered, handsome, caring boys for few yrs(well about 10 yrs really) time please CAT me

serenity Mon 25-Jul-05 22:01:09

I was 15 when I met DH and he was 18, so I wouldn't have a problem with the age gap. Dh would though!

You need to get to know him, his background doesn't mean anything really. Having that kind of family background might mean he is very mature for his age, and that he is very careful when it comes to sex and contraception!

Do you trust your daughter? You might just have to take a step back and hope that the last 15 years of parenting win through

WigWamBam Tue 26-Jul-05 09:50:28

Have you met him yet? It's difficult to judge how he's going to be just from hearing about his background.

ggglimpopo Tue 26-Jul-05 10:00:28

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colditz Tue 26-Jul-05 10:18:44

Meet him. Feed him. Make him adore you.

he will be history within a week.

My parents did this to one of my boyfriends. My mother made apple pie every day for a week, then I dumped him in frustration when he started saying things like "...But your mum's lovely!"

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 12:52:31

I agree with Colditz, when I first met my husband who was a mother's nightmare because she made such a fuss about how unsuitable he was it made it so glamouous, almost Romeo and Juliet like. I ended up marrying him, being very unhappy and going through a bitter divorce. If my other had kept quiet or been nice to him it probably would have fizzled out.

Twiglett Tue 26-Jul-05 13:00:13

I think I'd feel that I shouldn't care but I would be worried and post immediately on mumsnet

I would do what colditz said though .. sounds eminently sensible

thank god DD still a baby

dillydally Tue 26-Jul-05 13:03:56

Please can we have colditz mums apple pie recipe
tis a fab idea..I am saving it for when dd (nearly 2) gets much much much older

triceratops Tue 26-Jul-05 13:08:38

Get her on the pill straight away. An 18 year old is definately going to be after one thing IMO.

There is not a lot you can do apart from insist that you pick her up from any parties etc. especially if he has a car. Boys at that age have a tendancy to drink and drive and 15 year old girls think it is cool.

He must be a bit socially maladjusted to fancy such a young girl anyway which is what would bother me. When I was in sixth form only the very direst of nerds dated high school girls. Her friends will all think that she is ultra cool though which is hard to fight against.

I wouldn't hold his background against him until you know better. Although his father does sound unusually fertile and lacking in contraceptive knowledge which may be a bit worrying.

serenity Tue 26-Jul-05 13:23:29

socially maladjusted! LOL when I tell DH that

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