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Is it really that hard having children?

(148 Posts)
Enid Wed 20-Jul-05 14:09:32

So I have days when I am knackered, fed up, cross or tearful. But I wouldn't say it is overwhelmingly hard having children. I work part time, have two dds (5.5. & 2.5) and most of the time it is, well, I'd never call it easy, but its not what I would call hard either.

Now I am lucky. I have pretty well behaved, NT kids and a husband who gets home at 6pm most nights (not that he is particularly hands on).

I was surprised at all the negative choices on the 'choose one word to describe being a mummy' thread. Is it really that hard? Especially when you think of what a short time in your life this will be?

emkana Wed 20-Jul-05 14:11:28

I think it's great, best thing I've ever done, and I intend to have at least one more to prolong this time when they are small because I don't want this time to end. I don't think it's that bad either!

emkana Wed 20-Jul-05 14:17:58

Oh god will I be thrown off MN now for being too smug? [worried emoticon]

Enid Wed 20-Jul-05 14:19:47

possibly

I enjoy parts of my life very much - don't think that makes me smug.

HappyHuggy Wed 20-Jul-05 14:19:59

Some days it is.

I have to make sure i have stuff planned for everyday otherwise i couldnt stand it! My sons are 3 and 1 and do nothing but fight all day.

other days we have loads of fun, out in the garden and making cakes and stuff

i find it depends on the weather with me.

BareFootAngel Wed 20-Jul-05 14:21:20

think i need to live at your house sounds like fun HH

Enid Wed 20-Jul-05 14:23:33

have just realised I have totally jinxed my life with this question and both children will be horrible from tomorrow onwards [gulp emoticon]

oliveoil Wed 20-Jul-05 14:27:09

Well after dd1 falling out of bed last night and dd2 waking up at 5am, at the mo I am tired and grumpy. But generally I find it fairly easy. But I am so positive I get on my own nerves at times.

I also have a dh that gets home at 5pm AND a fab mil round the corner.

<smug b@st@rd>

ninah Wed 20-Jul-05 14:27:44

I find it quite hard tbh, I only have one with another on the way but I work full-time at a job I don't like much and dp is away a lot
I love - absolutley adore - time with ds but get so little of it - what I find hardest is the 6.30 starts, broken nights when he's ill and not being able to have a lie in EVER
Last Sunday we went to the beach with a friend and her daughter and it was magical, if I had more hours like this I would be truly ecstatic

ninah Wed 20-Jul-05 14:28:44

sorry but what's NT?

alexsmum Wed 20-Jul-05 14:29:37

i picked up this little bit of wisdom from...believe it or not Bear in the BIg blue house this morning(i know, i know...)
lunar said to bear that the biggest responsibilities in your life are the things that make you happiest. And it's so true. children are obviously my biggest responsibilities but they give me so much joy, that the hard work is worth it.

and they say kids t.v is rubbish....

alexsmum Wed 20-Jul-05 14:30:08

neurologically typical

roosmum Wed 20-Jul-05 14:30:11

[says slowly] yes....harder (& more tiring) than i imagined! (ds is nearly 6 mths)

& far far more wonderful than i hoped too!

often directly proportional to amount of sleep had by parents, happiness/grumpiness of baby etc i find...

bundle Wed 20-Jul-05 14:30:37

neurotypical (ie not special needs, or SN)

Flossam Wed 20-Jul-05 14:31:45

I wouldn't say I find it really hard yet, although appreciate there is plenty of time for everything to deteriate. I do find being at work less mentally challenging than a day with DS though!

ninah Wed 20-Jul-05 14:32:29

thanks
all I could think of was National Trust

spacedonkey Wed 20-Jul-05 14:36:29

It depends on your circumstances, surely? Financial difficulties, lack of support and health problems will make parenthood feel much harder. I also believe that people with more anxious or perfectionist tendencies find it harder than the more easy-going types.

fruitful Wed 20-Jul-05 14:37:00

Tiny babydom can be very hard, depending on the baby. Guess it depends on the children whatever their age, actually. Current baby is quite easy so I'm not finding that hard. Except for the vomit and the laundry.

With dd (3yo) I find the constant talking very hard. Another personality thing (mine, this time). By the end of the day, dh comes home and wants to talk to me and I just want everyone to shut up and leave me alone, there are days when I am desperate not to have to listen to anything.

And I agree with HH - July is quite easy, Feb can be awful!

I think the fact that it never stops is hard. With the most demanding of paid jobs, you normally get time off at the weekends, or a couple of weeks holiday a year. Being on call 24hrs a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for however many years before the youngest goes to nursery... thats hard.

Its not that hard. If it was, I'd go back to work. But it is harder than anything I've ever done in my life before.

madmarchhare Wed 20-Jul-05 14:40:09

I have good days and bad days, but I can say that I do find parenthood very hard at times. It may be something to do with the fact that I was incredibly lazy before I had DS . Having said that I have wonderful family/friends that allow me to see the funny side of the bad days that I do have and I really feel for those that dont have the same support.

ScummyMummy Wed 20-Jul-05 14:41:26

I agree with you, Enid. But I think we are pretty lucky because I know lots of people find it hard for myriad reasons.

ninah Wed 20-Jul-05 14:42:37

I was also pretty lazy pre child!
We don't have family support, luckily I do have good friends but they are either franctically busy with families and jobs of their own or childfree and incredulous!

CloseToCracking Wed 20-Jul-05 14:47:11

Yes it can be, if you

1) Have a partner struggling not very successfully with clinical depression
2) Have unresolved issues regarding the death of one of your babies
3) Have to work full-time outside the home because there is just not enough cash to go round, and are also in debt anyway
4) Are having a really crap time at your McJob anyway but can't afford to tell them where to stick it
5) Have no support from fab MILs or any other family members

I really LOVE my children and don't regret having them for a second but most other aspects of my life are really grim at the moment. And it's because I have the children that all these other concerns are just so pressing. And I know I am lucky compared to many other people on here.
Good luck to all who find it easier than I do.

sandyballs Wed 20-Jul-05 14:49:55

My opinion on how hard it all is varies with how much sleep I have had. Some days it is great, other days very difficult. Definitely easier now though (DDs are 4.5) than the early days.

batters Wed 20-Jul-05 14:52:22

I think it is probably generally harder when both parents work full time Enid?

I agree at the moment with you - but then I too work part time, I have one child, my partner is at home at the moment, childcare is sorted etc etc. Ask me when I am worried about my daughter being bullied by an older boy at the after school club and I can't find any alternative childcare and I might tell you something different. Just as spacedonkey says it is as much about circumstances as anything else.

madmarchhare Wed 20-Jul-05 14:52:37

Good point SB, I can handle most things if I've had a decent amount of kip.

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