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Am I selfish for not wanting to leave my own wedding reception?

(20 Posts)
beansprout Tue 19-Jul-05 15:35:04

We are getting married in a few weeks. By this time ds will be 10 months. My mum and dad have agreed to bring ds home and put him to bed so we can stay at our reception. This is about 30 mins away from home, so it would be a long round trip for us to come home, put him to bed and go back.

Ds is a settled baby and has an established bedtime routine. No one else has ever put him to bed though and dp is convinced that it will not work and that ds will be "screaming on the other side of London for us and we won't be there". I think the worst that could happen is that he gets overtired and my parents take him for a walk in the pushchair.

Honest views please - am I being selfish?

Puff Tue 19-Jul-05 15:36:10

No, I don't think you are being selfish .

northerner Tue 19-Jul-05 15:36:30

God no! Enjoy your wedding reception. DS will be fine.

Janh Tue 19-Jul-05 15:36:42

How much time does he spend with your parents as a rule? If he's happy to be with them then it shouldn't be a problem, routines aren't set in stone!

Have a couple of practice runs first?

anorak Tue 19-Jul-05 15:37:12

No of course you're not being selfish. Why not have a few practice runs now while he's got time to get used to it?

beansprout Tue 19-Jul-05 15:37:42

They don't live nearby so we see them monthly but he is always happy to be with them.

Puff Tue 19-Jul-05 15:37:54

Good idea anorak re practice runs.

gingerbear Tue 19-Jul-05 15:37:55

neither do I.
Could you have a trial run?

WideWebWitch Tue 19-Jul-05 15:38:03

Good lord, go! He'll be fine, you're leaving him with loving grandparents, not an axe murderer, def do it. You are iright, dhto be is wrong imo

madmarchhare Tue 19-Jul-05 15:39:14

Dont think youre being selfish. If its really worrying everyone else that much, try someone else putting him to bed a few times between now and then. Where is your reception?, are there rooms?

nailpolish Tue 19-Jul-05 15:39:23

hi beansprout and massive congrats!

my view is that ds will have had a massively tiring day, full of excitement with loads of attention, lots to eat, so therefore will be really tired and not be a problem going to bed! plus, as you say, he is recognising an established routine, and as long as your mum and dad know the routine, he will be fine.

although saying that, he might be really really tired and go down even better/quicker!

i really hope you have a lovely day and im sure you have nothing to worry about, ds might cry cos you are not there, but im so sure hell be exhausted, he will go to sleep nae bother

madmarchhare Tue 19-Jul-05 15:40:06

Blimey, a lot of X posts whilst I was fannying about there!

beansprout Tue 19-Jul-05 15:40:12

Part of the problem for me is that if dp is freaking out about his, how will it be when I go back to work? I keep saying that we have to trust that ds will be ok when he is looked after by other people sometimes.

lailag Tue 19-Jul-05 15:40:42

It's not your wedding day every day!!

beansprout Tue 19-Jul-05 15:41:39

That's what I said Lailag, but I am being told that "you don't get any days off from being a parent"!! Arggh!!!

nailpolish Tue 19-Jul-05 15:42:39

MEN! tell him to chill - ds will get spoilt and have a wonderful time with his grandparents.

i like your outlook beansprout - trust ds to be fine and he will

nannyjo Tue 19-Jul-05 15:44:00

not at all!! Were not talking just a night on the booze, this is your wedding, also it's good for you baby to be put to bed by someone different avery so often any way.

I went to the theatre last week and DS (10 months) screamed for my Mum apparebntly but she just took him for walks in the push chair (all night long bless her!) and he was ok.

I'll still do it again(be it hard for me too) because it's the only way he will learn that i can't always be the only one to put him to bed, what if i was taken ill etc i need to know he is comfortable with ohters doing his night time routine.

cazzybabs Tue 19-Jul-05 15:47:51

Oh god he'll be fine - the worse that will happen is that he will scream for a few hours (and no dount not that long), One day out of his his lfe so far will not scar him for life. ITS YOUR WEDDING DAY - that happens only once (for most people)...enjoy it and get really really drunk

motherinferior Tue 19-Jul-05 15:48:57

Beansprout! Congratulations! How absolutely lovely. Your DP is a very lucky man.

Quite honestly I'd say if he's worried he can bog off home with the baby and come back. Although this is not, clearly, the best start to married life . You're totally right - you need to juggle everyone's needs sometimes. And yours is to be at your wedding, dancing on tables and radiating the total loveliness that you do.

anorak Tue 19-Jul-05 15:53:52

Beansprout, are you sure you want to marry a man that says you don't get any time off from being a parent???

If my dh said that to me I'd tell him fine, if he didn't want any time off he could have sole charge for a few days, cos I'm off!

Everyone needs a break and sometimes you need a break together, and that means grandparents or aunts/uncles, or best friends mind your kids for a couple of days. It's not a gift to your children to train them to be totally lost without you. What happens if you have to go into hospital or something? Neither is it a gift to run yourself into the ground so that you have nothing left to give them. Your DP needs ejumacating...

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