Asians have moved into our 'white' street............(34 Posts)
...........and I'm not sure how to approach making fiends, advice please........
We live in a very boring, suburban, middle class, 'white' area, so it was a welcome surprise when an Asian family moved in three doors down. Better still, they have a ds about the same age as my ds 2yrs. It could be so nice for him to have a friend from a different culture to the narrow one he has now. (Me and dp are both from much more diverse backgrounds than where we live now, but we were kids then and it was easy to make friends.)
You see I don't want to be pushy, I don't want to offend them or their religion either. She appears not to speak english also, the little boy does and so does the father. I'm not sure where they originate from ethnically or religiously too. I hope this makes sense...
How would you approach a new family 3 doors down if they weren't Asian and had a ds the same age as yours?
I can see that if she doesn't speak English that makes it harder, but could you call with a "new home" card, with your DS and maybe your DH too, when the father is home? You could invite them to your house for a weekend afternoon and get to know them that way? I don't think that would be pushy.
I know it sounds cliched but why not pop round at a time you know the whole family are home and drop in a little housewarming gift and a card with your name and contact details on. I am sure they will be happy to be welcomed to the street.
I know I would be.
Is there an area where children play around your streets?
Have you said hello?
Is that their only child?
Why is an area 'boring, surburban' etc because it is white and why is your sons circle of friends 'narrow' because it doesn't have any different cultures in it? I hate this sort of generalisation.
I would make friends with any new neighbours, regardless of culture.
Maybe pop round with a card? Or scoot out when you see them pass and say hello and introduce yourself.
I'd make them a cake from my girls and a card too
Agree with Janh, do whatever you'd normally do if you wanted to make friends with someone new in the street. You should be able to make yourself understood with sign language for 'would you like a cup of tea?' even if he English isn't good.
"Why is an area 'boring, surburban' etc because it is white and why is your sons circle of friends 'narrow' because it doesn't have any different cultures in it? I hate this sort of generalisation.
Presumably Raspberry - knows what type of area her's is. I've lived in 'boring and suburban' areas too - and not all of them have been 'white'!!!!
Just go and say hello. Take a card and include a chatty note about meeting up for tea and about your DSs being siilar ages - that way if she doesn't speak very good english, she can get her dh to read it. Or she may be able to read english better than speaking it.
RTKM - they only appear to have a little boy
Ooil - it just is boring, nothing to do with it being non-multi-cultural. Also, we'll just have to agree to differ on the 'narrowness' of not being able to experience anything other than white, middle-class, british friends...
All - Perhaps my original query wasn't specific enough, I understand about the first approach and welcome cards, saying hello etc... That's not what I mean't, but thanks anyway
The advice I'm after is stuff like...
... if they do this/dress this way/have a such and such... then they are likely to be muslims..
or ...if they are of <insert religion> then they will find <insert thing> offensive....
that sort of advice...
"You can't tell where anyone originates from ethnically or religiously, regardless of race!!"
ooooo sometimes you can - we've got Jamacians, Americans, South Africans and Zimbabweans on our street...........easy to spot by
Stickers in cars
Flags out of windows (particuarly on major sporting/national days)
I don't think any friendly overtures you make are likely to offend them TBH.
I'd probably avoid popping round in a bikini or anything overly revealing though. Most seem to be in favour of modesty wrt clothing
that's true - the 'big house' on our street has a flag pole in it's back garden......and they fly all manner of flags on it from all over the world
Agree with Kama - they're moving into what you describe as a "white area". They wouldn't do that if they weren't prepared to fit in and "mix" with boring middle class white people who may unintentionally offend them.
Raspberry - I think if you generally make freindly apporaches, smile in the street, say hello to the little boy and his Mum tc, you will not offend at all.
If you do make friends to the extent that you are offering any hospitality, or offereing sweets in the park etc, then steer clear of anything with any meat products (such as sweets with gelatine, which may include both pork and beef, so off limits for either muslims or hindu). But I am sure that hospitality will be recognised, and appreciated, as such, even if they politely turn things down.
And then if you get chatting, just ask them, when the time is right, where their family are from.
Kama - I'm English through and through.....but my DH is from Zimbabwe.
I guess what a lot of you are saying is, don't worry too much, thanks, I know I'm being over-sensitive.
It's just that when I was a kid and friends with Bengalis, Jamaican and so on I didn't worry one bit and thinking back, wearing my shoes in Sukchinders house was probably offensive!
As an adult you're sort of expected to know these things
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