Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Other subjects

4 year old dd wants her ears pierced ... aaaarrghhhh

115 replies

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:25

I didn't really expect to have to deal with this so soon!

Both dh and I have agreed that if dd wants her ears pierced when she's 13 or so then that's fine - but she wants it done now, and she's only just 4.

I thought I could reason with her, but she has an answer for everything. The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: No, you're too young to have your ears pierced.
DD: J has hers pierced, Mummy, and she's younger than me.
Me: Well, it doesn't really matter if J has them. I just don't think it's very sensible to have them done until you're older.
DD: J's Mummy is sensible, she's a nurse, and she let J have hers done.
Me: I'm sure she's very sensible, but I still think you're too young. Sometimes other people do things that we don't like, and that's OK if that's what they have decided, but that doesn't mean that it's the right thing for us to do.
DD: If J's Mummy is sensible then that means she does the right things, doesn't it?
Me: Not always, because sometimes it hurts to have your ears pierced, and you have to know how to look after them.
DD: I'm sensible and clever though, so you can show me how to look after them. And I don't mind if it hurts; I'm very brave when things hurt. Anyway, Mummy, you haven't got your ears pierced, so you don't know. J has, and she knows, and it didn't hurt her.

And on ... and on ... and on ...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I'm not interested in whether it's right or wrong, I don't want another argument, but I need help to put my foot down and convince her ... I think I'm losing this one.

I did think about telling her that her ears will turn green and fall off, but somehow I don't think she'd believe me

OP posts:

Report

SoupDragon · 14/07/2005 18:26

"NO and that's the end of it"

I think that's where my line of reasoning would go now

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:28

I know ... I tried that as well, but she still keeps harping on.

Normally I can convince her but she really has her heart set on this.

OP posts:

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:28

just say NO

(ie do not enter into arguments over whether it is right/wrong/makes your earlobes fall off: it's a NO even if it's a life-enhancing experience suitable for J and the like)

jampots · 14/07/2005 18:28

just say "no because mummy says"

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:29

"No" is where we started from ... she forms a very wearing argument for a 4 year old!

OP posts:

nutcracker · 14/07/2005 18:29

I wouldn't have a prob with it but if you don't want her to have them done then I think you should just say no and not enter into a debate over it.

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:31

and if she wears you down, what kind of message does that give? just say NO

SoupDragon · 14/07/2005 18:31

"Daddy and I have decided that you can have them done when you are 13. I didn't have mine done until I was XX." (not much use if you had them done before 4 though!)

frogs · 14/07/2005 18:32

"Which bit of NO do you not understand?"

or:

"Because I am the boss of you, and I say so."

Very democratic parenting style in our house, you see.

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:32

a girl in my junior school called Sandra Williams pulled the desk lid down and pulled her own earrings out when she was about 7 or 8. it was horrific. and you can quote me on that.

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:32

offer her something else.

Aero · 14/07/2005 18:33

Same here Soupie! Dd is after havinmg hers done too and I've told her that when she is 12 or 13 she can have then done then. I told her that's how old I was when I had mine done.
I'd just say that you are not happy for her to have them done at her age and that's that really. Other people think differently, but you are her mother and are responsible for making decisions for her until she is old enough to make them for herself and if not having them pierced is your decision, then she has to learn to live with that.

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:33

I think she's only after having it done because her friend has them, and she's too young to understand the other implications.

I've never been the sort to just say "Because I say so" - I've always felt that she's bright enough to have an explanation, so have given one.

Wish I hadn't now!

OP posts:

hercules · 14/07/2005 18:33

Just say no and you are not going to discuss it further and ignore her if she carries on.

Aero · 14/07/2005 18:34

Not to mention accidents like bundle describes.

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:34

who's the grown up round here?

Pinotmum · 14/07/2005 18:34

Say you'll talk about it more when she 5 to buy you a bit of time or say "enough" using the hand palm signal "I'm not arguing about it" which normally works with my 4 yo though she does huff and puff abit.

SoupDragon · 14/07/2005 18:35

I always offer explanations and end up with "because I said so" when I'm bored with the discussion

Say she can have her belly button pierced instead.

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:35

Good question, bundle

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 14/07/2005 18:35

Mmmm, she'd take me up on that one, SD ...

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 14/07/2005 18:37

bundle · 14/07/2005 18:38

what about a tongue piercing?

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Aimsmum · 14/07/2005 18:44

Message withdrawn

Twiglett · 14/07/2005 18:48

stop reasoning with her

just say NO

JoolsToo · 14/07/2005 18:49

I'm stalking you

yeah just say NO! end of!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.