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sometimes i hate my daughter.

(5 Posts)
mousie Sun 10-Jul-05 20:30:36

I am not quite sure why I am being so confessional about this. I am a bit low and bewildered by my emotions at the moment. I have a four year old daughter and two year old son. I am really struggling with them both - constant constant fighting and shouting (we live in a small semi so I am very aware of our poor next door neighbour who is fifty with no kids!). They bicker constantly, she attacks him often, I have very little control or ways of control - vacillate between bribes and threats, and I have smacked a couple of times which I am mortified about. But nothing could have stopped me at the time. Sometimes I just hate my little girl - just for little bits of time - I can't believe it when she finally hits the pillow and is asleep that I can have had such violent emotions about her. I find my son much easier (emotionally) and I am sure this shows, however much I try not to let it. She is my darling darling first born, I desperately wanted a girl, etc etc but she drives me totally totally mad with her shrieking and hitting and general intensity. Also she rarely plays well on her own- whereas my son given the chance can spend a happy hour with cars, pottering. She demands constant attention which is so draining. I do take her off for quality time when I can - but it tends to backfire. Help.

toria77 Sun 10-Jul-05 20:37:20

are you stressed out and resenting her demands? sad 4 u that you feel that way. do you have a dh or someone who can help?

saadia Sun 10-Jul-05 20:45:35

Based on what you've said, speaking from my own experience, I would suggest instead of bribes and threats that you actually punish, either with time-out or confiscating toys.

My ds1 is also much more high-maintenance than ds2 and just to keep the peace, when ds2 was younger I would let him get away with taking toys from ds2, but now I always make sure that in these situations I do consistently send him to stand in the corner or take away his favourite toys. This results in extended periods of crying, which I just try to ignore. I'm hoping the message will eventually get through.

BadgerBadger Sun 10-Jul-05 21:55:56

You might find this thread interesting, mousie.

It looks like you aren't alone in feeling like this.

mousie Mon 11-Jul-05 07:24:11

thank you badger badger - just what I needed to read, and lots relevant to be sure.

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