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Advice needed - do I go to sports day tomorrow?

(20 Posts)
YeahBut Wed 06-Jul-05 12:30:59

DD1 is in reception. A child in her class was diagnosed with rubella a couple of days ago. I'm 9 weeks pregnant and not immune to rubella, despite receiving the vaccine. I've been advised by my obstetrician that although pick-up and drop-off are probably OK, I should avoid any extended contact with her class mates or their siblings. Cue HUGE problem - it is dd1's sports day tomorrow and parents are meant to be very integrated into the whole day - sitting with each other and all the children, having a shared picnic etc. My gut feel is that this probably fits the extended contact bill and that I should avoid it BUT dd1 will be really upset if I don't go. Dh says that he is far to busy to go and can't cancel meetings at this late stage (despite me warning him weeks ago that this day was coming up) What do I do???????

KBear Wed 06-Jul-05 12:33:17

any grandparents available? I probably would go but would steer clear of everyone else. Waving from a distance is probably better than not being there at all in the eyes of a 5 year old. Awful dilemma though.

triceratops Wed 06-Jul-05 12:34:07

I dont think you can go. The risk is just too great. Sorry.

Janh Wed 06-Jul-05 12:34:46

I've been debating this with myself and don't know what I'd do - presumably DD doesn't even know you're pg yet? Could you fake an illness tomorrow?

binkie Wed 06-Jul-05 12:37:41

I think your peace of mind for the next seven months is what matters: if you might worry at all, don't go. Re dd1, how much would she mind if she missed it too? - ie, could you keep her off and do something else special with her instead?

Re dh, I've had all of that meeting bllcks this end-of-term (and I work full-time too, and I've managed to do them all). He has agreed that at the start of next school year he is going to write every school fixture into his work diary.

YeahBut Wed 06-Jul-05 12:39:00

No she doesn't know I'm pg ( and I don't really want to tell the children until I'm 12 weeks and had all the scans etc.) so I can't really explain it to her. We don't have grandparents that could go as we are living overseas. What to do??????

basketcase Wed 06-Jul-05 12:39:02

not worth the risk IMO. How about just telling her that you are unable to go but are making a special family sports day picnic tea for afterwards and have some family fun and games after school? Maybe make a medal for her and have some "races" ? something to look forward to might help make it up to her? Just a thought x

fireflyfairy2 Wed 06-Jul-05 12:43:31

I would go tbh. BUT thats just me. I hate letting my dd down, but then you also have a 9week old bump to think about.

If it's any consolation to you i was near my nephew when he had rubella and im not immune either, I was 32 weeks pregnant. My baby was fine. If you have had the vaccine how come you're not immune?

It is a difficult decision though... good luck making it

bee3 Wed 06-Jul-05 12:45:43

I agree that you shouldn't risk it. The situation you describe would certainly be prolonged contact. I like basketcase's idea. Also, is there another mum of a child in the class who will be attending that you know well enough to ask if they'll take your dd under their wing for the afternoon? Spoil her a bit?
What a hard situation.

Janh Wed 06-Jul-05 12:45:56

It's only the first 13 weeks that matters for rubella, ff2, but it matters a lot. Vaccination doesn't work on everybody.

nutcracker Wed 06-Jul-05 12:52:05

Blimey what a dilema. Have to say I wouldn't risk it myself I don't think.

Caligula Wed 06-Jul-05 13:08:06

No way no way no way.

It's just not worth the risk.

Your DH should cancel the meetings and go. Outrageous that he hasn't, to be frank. If he hasn't been organised enough to put his dd's school event first, then he should throw a sickie.

To explain to your dd, could you tell her that you're very sick?

SoftFroggie Wed 06-Jul-05 13:57:21

I wouldn't go. In the extremely unlikely event that you were to contract it, it is simply not worth thinking about. Too much worry. Would be pretty impossible to avoid contact with kids. (I think that contact early in pg is the worst).

Is there anyone who can go and be DD's biggest fan on your behalf? Can you not lean on DH some more? If not, can you ask a friend's mum to 'adopt' DD for the day?

Is your DD immune? I guess she had MMR?

Bugsy2 Wed 06-Jul-05 14:03:35

YB, what a horrible dilema - poor you. Personally, given that you know you are not immune and at such a delicate stage of your pregnancy (congratulations BTW), I wouldn't go. I think it is a desperate shame your dd's Daddy can't go instead. Is there anybody you could help you out and be your dd's special person for tomorrow? I don't honestly think she'll mind if you are not there if there is some grown up there for her.

Fimbo Wed 06-Jul-05 14:05:07

Would your dd be upset if she missed sports day? If you explained the circumstances to the school, perhaps you could keep her off and do something together instead.

YeahBut Wed 06-Jul-05 15:55:30

Thank you all for your advice. I had made up my mind NOT to go but when I went to pick up dd1 from school this afternoon I found out that because the forecast is so bad for tomorrow, they are moving sports day inside. This means that parents cannot attend because there isn't any room in the hall. I am sooooooo relieved - I won't be notable by my absence and dd1 will still have fun at her sports day.

YeahBut Wed 06-Jul-05 15:56:20

God, does that sound bad - being happy that they've semi-cancelled sports day?

Janh Wed 06-Jul-05 15:57:03

God no, it's the perfect solution, I would be thrilled in your place! phew!

Caligula Wed 06-Jul-05 15:59:17

Blimey it's fate! (I've just come back from DS's sports day - you won't be missing much if your DD's is anything like his! )

Bugsy2 Wed 06-Jul-05 16:06:10

Wow, YeahBut that is great news. Fate took a hand and saved you from an agonising choice!!!! So good when that happens.
You'll have plenty other years of sitting at the edge of a field desperately scanning small identically dressed small children to make sure you don't miss that magic moment of your own offspring with an egg & spoon!!!

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