Should I speak to xp about his step mum?(5 Posts)
My ds told me today this story.. he has said before about it but it has rung alarm bells for me and i am not sure i would want ds unsupervised with xp's step mum. Basically ds used to stay over at his grandads when he lived with his dad. My ds said that 'granny with the caravan dropped a knife and it hurt his hand. But the she lied and said it was a spatula she dropped and not a knife and got cross.' He also said 'She tells me off a lot and daddy had to tell them that i suck my thumb to go to sleep because they wouldnt let me'. When all this happened ds would have been about 4 poss just 5. Ds is 5 now and this is still troubling him. Alarm bells are rigning cos if i accidentally dropped a knife and it hurt ds or someone else i would lie and say it was a spatula. I dont understand why she would lie and I am totally convinced ds is not lieing as he has said about this before but tbh i never thought alot about it but did mention it to his dad - who said ds had mentaioned it too as well.
From meeting this woman on the few occasions i did i have to be honest and say i didnt like her or trust her iykwim. now ds is living with me i have more say in where he goes but it is just playing on my mind there might have been more going on there as well.
so are you thinking that she intentionally put a knive to your son or that it was an accident and she was scared so she lied? if you think for a second it was deliberate your ds should never go near the woman again, but it could have been an act of carelessness and she lied so as to not look so bad?
did it bleed? was there a mark? if so, would have said straight away a spatula not likely to do that, knife would have punctured skin where spatula surely not?
suppose it comes down to are you thinking she is capable of hurting your child on purpose (avoid her) or do you think she is too careless (supervise her)
Don't think she deliberately would have done it. To be honest I think it might have been that she got cross and banged down knife.. it fell etc. So whilst she didnt mean it to fall she wasnt being safe. What has worried me is her dishonesty and implying ds was lying more than anything else. I think it is really really dangerous ground to lie about an incident like this as ds has lost trust in these grandparents. No idea if punctured skin as he was living with his dad and i never saw a mark. Really strange thing is that this morning when cleaning his teeth he was speaking about her again and that she got cross when he ate once with mouth open and he thought he wasnt allowed to open mouth to put his food in. Deff seems to be playing on his mind. HE also woke up with nightmares about monsters but think that is just an age thing.
Thing is i dont think he has seen these grandparents recently as he now lives with me and contact with dad is everyother weekend.
Did speak to xp about it months agfo when ds first mentioned but then nothing more was said. The fact that ds now lives with me and it is amicable i dont want xp to think i am sending accusations flying
sounds like bad memories certainly, obviously he didnt like her so it is good that contact is minimal to nil. time and love and reassurance im sure will solve any anxiety he has.
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