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Do you think motherhood replaces the part of us that used to be wild and fun?

(87 Posts)
fairyfly Thu 30-Jun-05 09:38:01

because i don't, but i really feel in society it is suppossed to. From the moment we concieve we are taught it is the be all and end all. So many peoples opinions effect us, we are not supposed to yearn for freedom. I once told someone i was bored to be answered with a shocked face and a comment of how that can't be possible with children in the house. It also is very apparent from day one that men are allowed to feel this, i was greeted with comments like " let him out, he deserves it". Is mottherhood a new word for Martyrdom.
I am constantly suprised at the school gates by women who have not been out for years. I think as much as they don't realise they are downtrodden and lost. I understand a fair few women are so in love with their children they never want to leave them. There purpose is to make me feel guilty i think, don't trust them either. I think with every single labour you should push out a babysitter at the same time.

ninah Thu 30-Jun-05 09:41:37

I am still wild and fun in my head, but you're right, have little time to act on it, and I miss it!

norash Thu 30-Jun-05 09:46:18

I think this is true. But really don't care what people think I should be like. Having a baby is not a death sentence.

I am still fun and I think even more wild ( Not in an irresponsible way of cause ) I have my son to think about now

lunachic Thu 30-Jun-05 09:47:29

or age -i stopped being wild and fun slightly before i was thirty -stopped going out at weekends so my logic was that i might as well stay in and babysit
now im yearning to get out more though i dont think im downtrodden and lost (least i hope not )
wish i had more reliable trustworty babysitters though ive only got 2 my mum (who,ll only have ds and a mate who will sit for dd occasionally
dont know about giving birth to one though -ouch !

ninah Thu 30-Jun-05 09:47:37

but I really WANT to be irresponsible sometimes
How can you be wild without being a bit irresponsible?

lunachic Thu 30-Jun-05 09:49:07

god ive just realised what ive said im gonna get slated !*im wrong im wrong * of course age doesnt stop us being wild and fun think in my case i just got bored with the wild and fun part of me

nailpolish Thu 30-Jun-05 09:50:53

ff, every word you have written is true. push away those guilty feelings and those zombified women at the gates

god all mighty, do children these days really WANT a mummy who devotes her whole life to them? i dont think so - they want a mummy who has lots of friends, has laugh, goes out and comes home and tells them all about it, warts and all

my dd loves it when i come home after being out with my mates and she listens to all the laughs and stupid things we did

fairyfly Thu 30-Jun-05 09:51:51

With childcare, if you know you are free then you can loose it for a while and go places. I also don't get people that spend free time cleaning and d.i.y.ing. People who get stressed about anally polishing their brass curtain tie backs. Don't get people who don't laugh with their husbands either and spend time discussing what chores need to be done. Life is too short.

nailpolish Thu 30-Jun-05 09:51:52

its a fine balance of course

nailpolish Thu 30-Jun-05 09:52:54

snap out of it ff - these people are not worth wasting your time bothering about

fairyfly Thu 30-Jun-05 09:53:05

Nailpolish you just made me laugh " and then mummy pulled down her knickers and pissed all over the street"

expatinscotland Thu 30-Jun-05 09:53:27

I think age has changed my idea of 'wild and fun' more than motherhood. But then again, I didn't have kids till I was 32.

I couldn't care less about 'going out' and tbh it was starting to become more of a hassle (and expense) than it was worth even before I became a mother. I'd just rather do something I find more rewarding w/the money.

CountessDracula Thu 30-Jun-05 09:53:38

I still love being wild and I'm nearly 40! However it is severely tempered now by the harsh realities of the next morning. Most of the time I just don't bother going out and being wild and staying up all night as I just think "oh god how will I feel tomorrow" and "it's not fair on dd" etc

So yes, I think it certainly slows you down but there is definitely room for wildness still. We tend to leave dd with grandparents if we are partying.

nailpolish Thu 30-Jun-05 09:54:22

yes. along those sort of lines ff

norash Thu 30-Jun-05 09:56:44

I met the kind of irresponsibility like walking into traffic drunk , getting so pissed your head barely hits the pillow before you black out ( and that's if you make it to your bed at all )

Feel free to add to the list .

fairyfly Thu 30-Jun-05 09:57:27

I'm not neccesarily saying wild and fun is getting slaughtered and feeling like shit for a week. I'm actually thinking about how i was just invited to go snow boarding for the day and said no thanks my bathroom needs cleaning. As i watched them drive off i realised mothers say no thanks constantly. I think they get scared of things and start to behave how society is supoposed to see them. So many people can't be seen to be doing the " wrong " thing. Too mnay people men and women are scared to death of how they will come across to strangers, It is ridiculous.

norash Thu 30-Jun-05 10:00:46

sorry that was "I meant"

CountessDracula Thu 30-Jun-05 10:01:35


you cleaned your bathroom instead of going snowboarding???

Shame on you!

norash Thu 30-Jun-05 10:02:49

I here you FF, but I have to confess that I don't feel like that.

expatinscotland Thu 30-Jun-05 10:04:38

FF
Ever thought that instead of conforming to 'society', these women may just be exhausted or lazy or just can't be arsed?

I have climbed so many 4,000m peaks I've lost count - there are 54 alone in the state of Colorado where I lived. I used to telemark ski in the backcountry, climb cracks hundreds of feet long, etc.

Nowadays, I don't have as much energy. And that that I do have - when I'm not working one of two jobs - I want to spend on my family. I take a lot of enjoyment out of that and out of a clean living space.

It has nothing to do w/'society'. My priorities have shifted with age.

expatinscotland Thu 30-Jun-05 10:05:59

I for one have never give a toss what 'society' thinks of me b/c in all honesty 99.9% of folks just don't care what the next person is doing.

Or, to quote the immortal Red Hot Chili Peppers: 'I am what I am, and most mutha f*as don't give a damn.'

popsycal Thu 30-Jun-05 10:08:06

i am with expat
I can't be arsed!

norash Thu 30-Jun-05 10:08:41

Hi Popsy

Fio2 Thu 30-Jun-05 10:13:41

totally agree FF

anyway I have just got to the point where I get wound up by peoples comments but in the end to what the F i want anyhow (you made me do it )

fairyfly Thu 30-Jun-05 10:14:03

hhmmm, i understand you are all not like that and can't be arsed etc. but i am sure mothers at the gate are terrified of stepping out of line. they tell me they have to be home because their husbands like dinner at a certain time and they would,t want to dissapoint them ffs. This is turning into a million different discussins now but why the f@ck would you get in a routine where a man can't cook anymore. i understand women love nurturing, i do, but so many of them have gone past that point. They do things miserably and have forgotten who they are.

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