from being seen as a failure to admiration(2 Posts)
when i was growing up i had two cousins. i was an only child and my two cousins were like sisters to me. my gran always said that my older cousin would do wonderfully in life. she'd be a musician and have an amazing career. this cousin was always her favourite and spent lots of time at my gran's house. from my younger cousin she didn't seem to have many expectations. she would do well in school and probably have kids. and me... she always said i'd end up cleaning toilets for a living. i got stuck with this image of me being a failure and a loser and i'd never do anything good in life. i had numerous sessions with my counsellor about this when i had my depression and i managed to work out that it didn't matter what my gran had said throughout my childhood. i was a success in my own right.
the truth is, my older cousin failed at school. she ended up marrying a really nasty bloke and had a child really young. she ended up depressed and her health suffered. she's now got a pretty good job in a mobile phone shop and has a nice man in her life. the younger cousin is doing well. she has a boyfriend, works as a teacher.
today i talked to my gran on the phone as it is her birthday. she couldn't stop singing my praises, telling me she admired me so much and she was so incredibly proud of me. i have my own house, i have everything i need/want. i have been to college and now a sahm. my daughter and fiancé are amazing. i nearly cried as she was saying all these wonderful things about me and i think i finally proved her wrong about ending up a failure. and thankfully the only toilet i ever cleaned is my own
It seems that it's taken your gran a long time to finally see you for who you are. I also think that you're doing really well - it's hard not to hold a grudge against someone when they've put you down so much. I'm happy for you, and i'm sure your gran knows deep down that she's been wrong and is going to try and make up for it now. Keep smiling and keep loving her. We all make mistakes. Moving on i find is the best possible cure for years of that kind of treatment...
Wishing you all the best x
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