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my husbands a good guy!

(13 Posts)
chicagomum Tue 21-Jun-05 19:03:34

apologies for the peculiar title but i couldn't think of one that wouldn't cause offence, what i really wanted to say was i want to rant about the fact that he's not a child molestor - last night we were in the airport flying home, we werre waiting at the gate with our kids when my husband noticed 2 kids ( about 8 and 6) sitting alone and the boy was crying, my husband went up to see if he was ok - he was scared because his mum had told them to sit there and she went of about 10-15 mins before my dh was trying to find out his name etc so he could get someone to page the mum etc when she returned saw him talking to her children and started shouting at my husband to get away from her kids etc then security came over and she told them my dh was trying to take her kids!! anyway all was eventually sorted out, but my husband was quite shaken up - this just shows you what the world has come to when a man cant approach kids without people thinking the worst - i wonder if it would have been the same if it had been me that went up to them (not to mention the fact that she left them alone in the first place but that's another issue) - anyway rant over!

hunkermunker Tue 21-Jun-05 19:10:39

Some people The world's gone mental!

Your DH did the right thing, IMO - sad that she couldn't see that. I know I always approach children who seem to be without parents (but as a woman it seems more OK with their parents...).

gigglinggoblin Tue 21-Jun-05 19:11:57

she was obviously making a fuss to cover up her neglect. what a cow

MarsLady Tue 21-Jun-05 19:12:03

tell your DH... well done for caring. If that were my kids I'd be grateful that someone cared enough to check they were alright.

Poor man!

coppertop Tue 21-Jun-05 19:16:27

It's completely mad, isn't it? A few weeks ago I found a little boy of about 18mths old wandering alone in a deserted street right near to a main road. Eventually someone came out of a house to claim him but one of the thoughts running through my mind was "If I pick him up to take him to a phone-box or shop to call the police, will someone see me and think I'm trying to abduct him?"

Your dh did the right thing IMHO.

Whizzz Tue 21-Jun-05 19:19:34

Well done to your DH.
It is a sad fact that you do have to sometimes think twice before helping someone,

emmamama Tue 21-Jun-05 19:19:43

It'll be no consolation but a similar thing happened to me (a mammy!) at the weekend. We were at the fair and I noticed a little boy about 5 years old wandering around shouting 'mammy mammy'and sobbing his heart out. So I approached him and tried to get some details about his mother. At which point this mad woman comes flying out of nowhere, grabs him by the arm and pulls him away and shouts at me 'get away from him'.

Whilst I can understand her being frightened when she discovered her son missing, I found her subsequent behaviour disgraceful. So I'm stood there in a crowded place with my 2 ds's and everyone around me thinks I'm a child abductor.

I was too shocked to say anything.

NotQuiteCockney Tue 21-Jun-05 19:24:10

Almost all kids who are abducted are abducted by someone they know - generally an estranged parent or other relative!

I know that if DH and I saw some upset kids out alone in public, I would be the one to approach them, and I'd be quite careful to avoid touching them, so as not to make them, or their carer, nervous. It's very sad that this is a concern.

flamesparrow Tue 21-Jun-05 19:44:16

My godchildren's school wouldn't let me collect them the other day - even though I am their "in case of emergency" person, I have been personally introduced to teachers as their spare picker upper, AND I had their 3 year old brother with me too!!!

In some ways it is nice that they are that tight on security, but in other ways a nightmare - they phoned their sick mum, woke her up, to ask if it was ok for me to take em home.

Who in their right mind would want to abduct 4 children with 2 toddlers in tow anyway???

Sorry - completely different rant there!!!

I do, and always will talk to children who are alone - I know it could backfire (just as I have been told off for carrying in escaping toddlers at playgroup), but I thin kmore for the children than the mad mad people!!!

NotQuiteCockney Tue 21-Jun-05 19:45:58

A friend has told her daughter's school, "if someone comes to pick them up, knows my kids names, and my kids know them, they can have them".

I can't quite get my DS1's teacher to understand that if a particular family friend turns up, whenever, he can take DS1. Very annoying. And frankly, my friend's policy sounds even better. When DS1 is a bit bigger, I'll go for that.

flamesparrow Wed 22-Jun-05 04:02:39

I like the safety word system.

You have a random word that the school knows (melon or something), and if the collector knows the word (and the children's names ), then they hand them over.

Works for your children as well - if someone they don't know well know the secret word (and you need to change it fairly regularly), then it is safe to talk to them etc.

Fran1 Wed 22-Jun-05 07:40:51

Your poor dh chicago mum! Its sad that its come to this. I was pushing my dd on a swing the other day and another little girl came and asked me if i could help her on the swing, she was struggling to jump onto the seat. I felt so mean, but i said hang on and i'll ask your mummy, which i did when i eventually figured out which one she was!

I think schools are right to be this strict, if someone different is going to collect i think they should be informed by parent that morning or by telephone, and use a code word and common sense - checking the children are comfortable and seem to know the person!

In my nursery if people turned up unexpectedly i made them wait until i'd rang the child's parent to check. Even if i knew that this person was definitely the child's gran or dad etc i still wanted parents permission for them to take the child, as we did have as someone else said most abductions are carried out by relatives! How could i judge whether this was a friendly gran coming to collect or a feuding family fighting over a child?

Better to be safe than sorry.

Nightynight Wed 22-Jun-05 08:01:56

sorry to hear about your experience chicagomum, what an overreaction!

One time I went up to a crying toddler in the supermarket, no mummy in sight. Mummy appeared from nowhere and accused me of making the child cry!

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