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I dont want my kids

(20 Posts)
feelingquilty Sun 19-Jun-05 11:34:40

I must be the worst mother in the world.

I have two children but i cant cope with them.

I could cope with one - it doesnt matter which one, it would be so much easier.

They fight, they cry, they wont sleep, I have to force myself to do even the most basic of things like wash them and change their nappies.

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry.

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 11:35:58

No you're not!

My two were driving me crackers yesterday - ds1 4 and ds2 2 - how old are yours fg?

basketcase Sun 19-Jun-05 11:36:26

You sound so low, feelingguily - big cyber hugs coming your way xxxxxx
Has something specific happened, or is it more general low feeling? How old are they and do you have any help/support around to give you a break?

feelingquilty Sun 19-Jun-05 11:38:13

they're both under 3

Just cant be bothered with them.

Im married but even when dh is around i let him do everything for them.

Im lazy, i do as little as possible.

Just knew after ds2 i'd made a mistake having more than one IYKWIM

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 11:41:51

Having 2 under 3 is very hard work. Is one due to go to nursery soonish, that does relieve the pressure a bit.

Gobbledigook Sun 19-Jun-05 11:43:20

Puff is right - once you get one going in to nursery for a bit it eases off. Also as they get a little bit older they'll play together better - don't get me wrong, you'll still get spats but they do play better and more constructively. My eldest 2 are 4 and 2.5 and already they are playing much better than 6 months ago...hang in there.

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 11:45:10

Are you a full time sahm?

I am at the mo and I do find it tough at times, because the routine can be so grinding.

basketcase Sun 19-Jun-05 11:45:13

I had two under three - DD1 is now 4. Can really relate to finding one at a time so much easier than two - I imagine almost all mums with small children would agree there. Especially on hot days when it all seems much worse.
Have you talked to DH about how you feel?
It is so hard to give you decent advice and support posting like this. If you are feeling really negative about your children and it is on ongoing thing that just doesn’t seem to go away, I think you need to talk to someone face to face who can give you decent support. This might be Dh, family or even your HV. One thing is for sure, you aren’t alone, loads of us find parenting very hard, frequently. For your own sake and your Dhs I hope you find it in you to talk about it fully and that you find effective support very soon. In the mean time, hopefully fellow mumsnetters will at least be able to help you appreciate that you are not the only one that have these worries and feelings - and it doesn’t make you the worst mum in the world. The fact that your feelings bother you enough to post shows you must care.

feelingquilty Sun 19-Jun-05 11:45:56

They both go to nursery already

im just not cut out to be a mum.

I do thinks with them because i have to, not because i want to.

I'll do everything i can to get someone else to look after them - even saying im ill or have to work

poor kids

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 11:48:29

Yes, you're not alone, I think what you are feeling is more common than people feel able to admit - there is so much pressure to be the perfect parent these days which as we all know isn't possible.

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 11:51:47

FG - have you talked this through with your dh as basketcase suggests?

feelingquilty Sun 19-Jun-05 11:56:09

and im too quick to snap and smack them - even the 1 yr old.

spoke to dh but he thinks im being lazy.

my house is a pigsty

i just cant be bothered anymore


ScummyMummy Sun 19-Jun-05 12:06:51

Maybe you're depressed. Why don't you go and have a chat with your GP? In the meantime you'll just have to pretend you're enjoying yourself with the kids. Are you ok for money? If you are why don't you go out and buy some water pistols and find some outside space to have a waterfight?

edam Sun 19-Jun-05 12:08:16

These look like classic symptoms of depression – although I'm not a doctor. But do go and ask for help, it really does sound as if you are depressed. And if that's the case, you can get help.

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 12:48:39

It does sound like you may be suffering with depression - you really need to talk to your dh and see your gp. In the meantime - try to make 1 or 2 targets for yourself - try not to smack and maybe another positive eg 1 short activity a day with the children, even for 10 mins.

Have you suffered with depression in the past?

Can you think when these feelings started?

feelingquilty Sun 19-Jun-05 13:42:05

The GP says im no depressed.

My dc! is at a friends now and DC2 is asleep so am contemplating doing some housework but i just cant get motivated.

I dont know when this all started but it seems to come and go, somedays im fine and then others i just cant seem to drag myself out of bed.

am feeling even more guilty for admitting this now as my dc are wonderful and its so obvious that they adore me.

thanks for the advice

Weatherwax Sun 19-Jun-05 14:35:41

See another GP or have another go at convincing your current one to see there is something wrong. You obviously feel there is somthing wrong. You sound very low and tired. If he doesn't think your depressed ask him to treat the tiredness/lack of commitment

Puff Sun 19-Jun-05 14:46:34

I know it's hard, but try not to feel so guilty - do you get regular time to yourself - ie a complete break from the children?

Every couple of weeks, dh tries to take my two out for the whole day - it gives me some headspace, a chance to do do a 2 hour blitz on the jobs in the house that I never get, and, some being a vegetable on the sofa time!

aloha Sun 19-Jun-05 15:14:33

i'd say you are clearly depressed. go back to your doctor and be totally honest about how you feel - the anger, the inabiltiy to get out of bed etc also have you got an HV. Talk to her too about how you feel you can't cope. I think you need helop with this.

Sax Sun 19-Jun-05 15:44:31

I feel identical to this and I have been diagnosed with depression - I would suggest you make another appointment with the gp!!!!! The days aren;t getting better they are getting worse - I can't see the way ahead - don't get this low, ask to be seen again and reiterated your exact feelings you've talked about here.

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